


Throwing Dice In the Dark

by NyxEtoile, OlivesAwl



Series: A Brush With the Devil Can Clear Your Mind [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), F/M, Nightmares, Occasional horse theft, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rebuilding, Recovery, Second Chances, Therapy, Thor gets some actual treatment, Time Travel, accidental arson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-06-22 08:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 56,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19663582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxEtoile/pseuds/NyxEtoile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlivesAwl/pseuds/OlivesAwl
Summary: "You are in no shape to be traveling through time."A lot of people told Thor what crappy shape he was in. Banner was patronizingly gentle, Rocket was openly irritated, Valkyrie had been every emotion under the sun but had settled for the last few years on resigned. Dr. Yee just said it like a fact. No judgement, just a statement."I'm really fine," he said, because he'd been saying it for years and he wasn't going to stop now."I'm sure you're managing," she said, evenly. "But are you really happy with how you are? Right now? Would you consider yourself functional?"He opened his mouth to assure her he was. But she was looking at him, with no judgment or ire, just calm patience. And he found himself saying, "No."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When Nyx and I left the theatre after seeing Endgame, we discussed how Lani and Doc would yell at the boys when they brought Thor back in the state he was in, and stop the entire operation until he was stable. It was originally just going to be a background thing, with a few scenes in other stories, and then turned into one of its own.
> 
> My husband is a recovering alcoholic, and I have been down the messy, terrifying path and found us different people on the other side--for the better. This story is of the before and the after far more than the ugly middle. I limit how much I'm willing to poke my own demons with a stick.
> 
> This one is completely finished and just being edited, and will post on Saturdays (possibly a second day as well, tbd)
> 
> Title is from the Mumford & Sons song _Monster_
> 
> (A note only because I know how serious a trigger it can be: scattered in the story there are mentions of non consensual sex that doesn't/didn't actually happen. But it come up a couple of times and I don't want to poke anyone else's demons, either)

There had probably been a time, long long ago, where there was a lot of overlap between the skills needed of royalty and the skills needed to manage a group of hungry and scared people. That time, unfortunately, was probably somewhere around the time of Odin's great-great-grandfather. 

There was, however, plenty of overlap between that and the realities of taking an army into the field. Food, sleeping arrangements, dispute resolution, tending to injuries, settling nerves. . . Valkyrie was rusty, but she remembered. 

First order of business was to turn the ship and move it somewhere that didn't have everyone staring at the rubble of Asgard out of every window. Next was supplies.

Loki had at least stolen a well stocked ship, she'd give him that credit. After Asgard blew up, instead of running off, he'd parked the _Commodore_ on the _Statesman_ 's docking clamps. But for whatever reason, he hadn't come inside yet. Valkyrie didn't know why, and couldn't worry about him right now. Hopefully he wasn't up to trouble. At this point she'd honestly run him through if he was. Heroic rescue or not.

"I should be doing something," Thor said to her when she paused running around long enough to use the skin-healing wand she'd found in the medical supplies to close the wound on his back he couldn't reach to do himself.

"Probably," she said. She'd drafted a bunch of women to help her, and he made common folk too nervous and deferent to be useful. He'd be underfoot. And she couldn't think of any ceremonial duties that might. . . "Hang on. I do have any idea. Get cleaned up. Go talk to your subjects."

"About what?" he sounded almost alarmed.

"What happened."

"I feel like they probably noticed that."

"Tell them the whole story. Start from the beginning. Uncertainty breeds fear. It'll help." She patted his back to indicate she was done, and then wandered over to the bar that was on the other side of the room. This was the Grandmaster's room. Thor was the King now, so Valkyrie told him it was his. "You want a drink?"

He glanced at her, then the bar behind her. "Wouldn't be the worst idea."

"Don't worry, a little ale won't make you end up like me," she said, bringing two glasses over to him. "Though I actually have no idea what this is." She held one out to him.

"Well, it's fluorescent green, so I'm sure it will be strong."

She clinked her glass against his. "To all the souls that went to Valhalla today."

"May they travel safe," he agreed knocking his drink back.

Swallowing her drink, she said, "Okay. Go entertain the troops. You might want to put something over that eye first."

He sighed deeply. "Yeah. I think I saw an eye patch in the medical kit I was digging through."

"I'll make you a better one when I have some spare time." She came over to squeeze his shoulder, and then went out. She had rooming arrangements to figure out.

Eventually, she walked out to the large cargo bay where everyone was hanging out, dragging a cart full of emergency rations, and was stopped by the sheer entertainment of the colorfully embellished tale he was telling. 

"He told me to hold still, and then the clippers in in his hand unfolded into this enormous machine." Thor made a gesture with his hands to indicate something half a meter across. "Full of spinning blades. He told me to hold still while he cut my hair, and I screamed like a little girl. I thought he was going to take my head off."

Some children who gathered in the front giggled. Valkyrie knew exactly what he was talking about, and the arena barber's clippers were perfectly normal looking. But it was making people laugh, which was sorely needed.

She leaned against a post to listen to the rest of the story, which involved more physical comedy than she remembered, but clearly this was a yarn. Apparently he had a touch of his brother's theatricality in him after all.

When she had a minute, she really ought to go see what Loki was up to.

He got all the way through waking back up in Hulk's quarters and seemed to realize he might be treading into non-family-friendly territory, so he wrapped it up, promising to tell them more tales later. There were a lot of smiling faces when he was done, which had probably been the point.

Valkyrie cupped her hands over her mouth and called to the general crowd, "Anybody hungry?"

A roar of agreement was her reply and she quickly set up multiple lines for people to come and get rations. Soon the cargo bay looked like a picnic park as much as anything else. Asgardians were a resilient people.

She brought some food over and sat on the dais next to Thor. "Your Majesty."

He smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

"Thank you for not telling them how easily you fleeced that control stick off of me. I've got a rep to protect."

The smiled widened. "I intend to keep my pick pocketing talents a secret."

"In my defense I was drunk," she replied, then looked over at him. "I won't tell anyone how you hit yourself in the head with an exercise ball."

"I appreciate that." He toasted her with the cup of stew he was eating. "Mutual assured destruction is a time honored war tactic."

She laughed. "Agreed."

Her next task was getting everyone into a berth. Heimdal took charge of figuring out who went where, and it was reasonably orderly. Everything would look better, or at least clearer, after a good night's sleep.

Maybe for her, too, if she could sleep. But the only alcohol on the whole damn ship, it seemed, was the Grandmasters bar upstairs. After about 34 seconds of internal debate, she went upstairs and knocked on Thor's door.

"Come in," he called. 

When she did, she found him sprawled in the bed, fully dressed, arm slung across his eyes. Well, eye. He peeked out at her and sighed, re-covering his face. "Problem? Or here for the booze?"

"Booze," she said, walking over to the bar. "You shouldn't sleep in your armor."

"Wouldn't be the first time," he muttered.

"Me either," she replied. Such was a battlefield. The was still wearing the bottom half of her armor—because they were the pants she had—but had taken the top off and was just wearing a tank top that really probably should be burned after she took it off. She glanced over at the closets, wondering if the Grandmaster had clothes in there. "But we're not on a battlefield." She poured two drinks and brought one over to him, sitting on the end of the bed. It was large enough to contain an orgy. Which is almost certainly had at some point.

He bumped her companionably with a foot. "Everyone all settled in?"

"Best as can be. There's plenty of space, but we'll have to stop for supplies at some point soon. And figure out where we're going." He groaned, and she patted his leg. "Tomorrow."

"Right." He sighed again and sat up, working on the fastenings of his armor to slide its pieces off.

Valkyrie slept with far more women than men, but this particular man really did look _very_ good without a shirt on. She'd only see his back when she was fixing the stab wound. It was probably rude to stare, but couldn't help herself.

"I don't imagine anything the Grandmaster wore will fit me," he muttered, tossing the armor to the floor. He shifted to pull his boots off.

She downed her drink and got up to go to the closet. "No, but he had bedmates of all shapes and sizes, there might be something." She opened the doors to see lots of fabric. "Go shower," she said. "It's probably way fancier than the little cubicles in the passenger rooms. I'll make some sense of this, I need clothes, too."

"It is fancy," he commented. "Everything is painted gold and there's an actual bathtub. Given how beat up I am, a soak doesn't sound half bad."

"Okay, now I hate you and am going to give you something itchy to wear."

He gestured at the doorway. "You're welcome to use it."

Oh, that was tempting. She hadn't had a proper bath in ages. "You first, I have to make sure there's something to wear first. If you're going to bed you can just. . ." She stopped her mouth from following that thought, but not her brain, which was industriously picturing him naked.

He arched his brows at her, but tossed his second boot to the ground and sauntered into the bathroom. Well, at least she'd put a swagger in his step for a moment.

Another drink would be nice right now. First, clothes. She yanked a bunch of things out and quickly found a dress for herself. It was delicate and pretty and reminded her of the woman she'd once been, so very very long ago. She cobbled together something robe-like for him. Neither of it was anything either of them could fight in or even do much labor, but it would do for tonight. She could see a number of leather garments that were just the wrong size - alterations could be made.

She could hear splashing and water running in the next room, followed by a rumbly groan that was probably him getting into the bath. She was very much not going to think about that. Alcohol. Alcohol was nice and distracting.

Of course, that only helped the room feel warmer when he finally emerged, in a towel that was entirely too small for her sanity. She looked up at the ceiling a moment, then pointed. "Clothes."

He made a face, but went over to inspect the robe she'd managed to find. It prompted another face, but he ducked back into the bathroom to slip it on. Of course when he came out in yards of red fabric, looking rather like a present she wanted to unwrap, she wasn't sure it was an improvement on the towel.

She took the entire bottle of booze in the bathroom with her.

The tub refilled quickly, and she wondered if she should feel guilty using up all this water. A big ship like this would make and recycle tons. And she'd helped saved a lot of lives and fought her worst nightmare today. She could have a damn bath.

The warm water was wonderful on her sore muscles, and it was nice to wash her hair. The world looked better when you were clean. All of the soaps and soaks were potently stinky. She chose the least offensive one and scrubbed away all the blood and sweat.

She rinsed off, dried off with all the towels available to her, and tugged on the dress she'd brought in.

Out in the main room, Thor was back on the bed, robes carefully arranged to hide everything she shouldn't be looking at. She stood at the edge of the bed. "Hey."

He opened his eye to look at her. She saw surprise flicker over his expression. "Hello."

She had no idea what to make of that face. "What?" she asked quietly.

"You look. . . different."

"I look like a lady-in-waiting who couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag." She looked down at the dress, noting just how very thin and fine the fabric was. It was going to need another layer before she went into the hallway. "Okay, maybe a courtesan."

"As I said. Different."

"I assure you, I can still kill you in this dress."

He gave her a crooked grin. "That doesn't help my indecision on whether I like this or the armor better."

She watched him touch the silk of her skirt. "You want another drink?"

"Wouldn't say no," he replied, looking back up at her. She met his gaze and she could feel her heartbeat pick up. The air in the room was different, too. 

Taking a breath, she went back to the bar. "I suppose it depends on if you'd prefer to be stabbed with a large sword or a small knife."

He laughed, the sound rumbling. "Going to have to go with small knife, I think."

She filled the glasses and brought them back. He watched her walk the whole way. "I could probably fit two more knives under this dress if I needed to."

"Death of a thousand cuts. Poetic."

She handed him his glass and sat again on the end of the bed. "You only need one if you get the right spot."

He lifted his drink as if toasting agreement. "I envy women their assortment of hiding places, even in an outfit like this."

Valkyrie laughed. "I could hide Dragonfang in your current outfit."

His mouth quirked and he sipped his drink. "You've set me up for some sort of terrible sword joke, you know."

"I trust you to maintain the decorum befitting royalty." She took a drink. "I lived on Sakaar for a millennia working for a man who built more than one orgy ship and before that I spent my life in the Asgardian Army. I have heard every single sword related dick joke that anyone has ever come up with."

Laughing and shaking his head, he downed the rest of his drink. "You have me there. I won't embarrass myself by trying."

The real, good buzz finally kicked in, and she leaned back on one of her arms. "God that was a good fight today, wasn't it?"

"It was. Though I enjoyed punching spaceships out of the sky with you, as well."

She felt herself smile. "That was the most alive I've felt in a very long time."

"You looked it," he told her. "You're beautiful when you fight."

She turned her head so she could see him better. Anyone else would have gotten a comment about battle not being a time a woman cares about her looks, but he was so utterly sincere. He didn't say it to flatter her, or to try and get in her pants—thought that certainly seemed on the table—but just because he thought it to be true. "And I wasn't even wearing my armor yet."

"Well. That was almost too much to handle. Why do you think I excused myself to face certain death before you put it on?"

She bit her lip. "You know, I'm really glad you didn't die."

"So am I," he admitted. "For the most part. I'm glad you didn't die, too."

"That's all you can do after a battle, really. Drink to the fallen and celebrate survival. Tomorrow will be a better day."

He laughed humorlessly and stood to pour himself more drink. "It was pretty much have to be, wouldn't it?"

"It's still something. Get me another," she added, holding her glass out.

He simply brought the bottle back to the bed, sitting down before filling her glass, then his. "I guess for a while I just have to take what I can."

She raised her glass. "I'll drink to that." She watched him over the rim as she took a swallow. "Take what you can," she echoed. "You should."

He choked a little on his drink. "Was that. . . was that an invitation?"

Her cheeks flushed. Embarrassment, alcohol, whatever. In her defense, she hadn't flirted with anyone in centuries. "Okay, clearly I have had too much to drink, which is probably saying something." Her legs got tangled in her many layers of skirt trying to get up. Thor reached over to catch her and ended up pulling her against his chest. She rested her forehead against his shoulder, closing her eyes and thinking it was criminal how good he smelled. "Damnit."

She felt the rumble of a laugh more than anything else. He pressed a little kiss to her temple. "I think I'm insulted."

"Why?" she mumbled into the red fabric.

"Well, I finally get you in my arms and you curse."

She leaned back enough to look at him, and then punched his arm, hard. "You reacted to innuendo like a scandalized maiden."

"I was surprised! It's been a bit of a day."

"Surprised." Huffing out a breath, she considered punching him again. "What in all the realms am I going to do with you?"

He ran his hand up he back and she could feel the heat of it through the thin fabric of the dress. "I can think of a couple of things."

She hummed a little and turned her face up. "You have my attention."

"My first thought, was that we could get out of these ridiculous clothes."

She touched her forehead to his, suddenly sure that when she kissed him they were going to explode. "Buttons are an inch above your hand," she whispered.

"Mmm." He slid his hand up that much higher and started flicking open buttons until he could tuck his hand inside and stroke her bare skin. Shivering at the touch, she rolled her shoulders and let the dress slide down to her elbows.

Thor grinned at the sudden revelation of skin and ducked his head to kiss her collarbone. She arched back to let him, and he held her in place with one hand. It had been a long time since she'd been with someone that strong.

He shifted her a little so he could kiss down her chest. His beard grazed the soft skin of her breast just before he took the nipple in his mouth. With a little gasp she melted. That was the only word for it. She let him lean her back onto the bed and tug the dress all the way down. She'd expected—particularly because they were drunk—that it would be fast and rough and a little careless, like most of the sex she'd had with men. But he certainly seemed in no hurry.

Once she was free of her dress, he leaned back to take in the look of her, sprawled out on the enormous bed. Then, grinning, he bent to kiss her mouth.

She was right about the kiss. It simmered, gentle and slow, for just a moment, and then the fire lit for real. She got her arms around him, and suddenly they devoured each other, pouring a days worth of fear and rage and victory into each other. When it finally broke he looked has shaken as she felt. The hand he lifted to touch her had sparks dancing between his fingers.

He chuckled a little self consciously, shaking the sparks off his hand before touching her cheek. He kissed her again, with just as much heat. Then he started kissing down her body again. She stroked her hands over his back and shoulders. They were bare, and she had no idea where the red robe had gone. She didn't entirely care. She didn't care at all by the time he got out of her reach and casually slung her legs over his shoulders.

She'd imagined something like being up against the door and the kind of swift efficient orgasm that came with that sort of thing. Now he stretched it out, taking her near the edge and back, up and down, tormenting her with his hands and his mouth until she was begging. And she was not a woman who begged.

In reply, he slipped two fingers into her body, curling them as he stroked her, mouth still tormenting her clit. The tension in her wound as tight as it could and then snapped, pleasure crashing through her so intensely her body shook. Gods knew what sort of noise she was making, but she couldn't possibly care.

When she was finally capable of opening her eyes, she found him sitting between her legs, stroking her thigh and looking proud of himself. She laughed, not out of humor but out of joy, because she quite literally hadn't felt this good in a hundred years. "You are royalty," she said. "There is no reason at all for you to be _that_ good at that."

He threw his head back laughing so hard. "Even a prince wants his partner happy now and then."

She pushed up one her elbows. "You are my first prince. Well, king."

"How does it rate so far?"

"Full of majesty," she replied, which made him laugh again. Tightening her abs, she pulled herself all the way up, and straddled his lap. He squeezed her ass in his hands and tugged her closer. She could feel his cock trapped between them and ground against it, pleased with the noise it got from him. "Hi," she murmured against his mouth.

"Mmm. Hello there. This is nice."

She moved back just enough she could get her hand down between them, wrapping it around him, running her thumb up the underside. "Possibly I should have allowed at least one sword joke."

He shuddered and she swore he pulsed in her hand. "You could make one now, if you chose."

"No, I take this very seriously." She kissed him again, sucking on his lower lip. He growled into her mouth, cupping the back of her head to deepen the kiss. He arched into her, grinding against her clit. She went up on her knees and sank back down to take him inside her. It was slow going, and she could feel him stretch her despite how very wet she was.

He was trembling, but let her go at her own speed, hands on her back to support her. When she finally settled down with him fully inside, his sigh sounded like one of relief. 

She touched her forehead to his. "Good?"

"Very," he told her, giving her hip a little squeeze. She stayed still, but tightened her internal muscles around him. His fingers dug into her skin and she did it again and then again. She knew a thing or two about torment herself.

He nipped her earlobe. "Move or be moved."

She rocked her hips, just a little, but enough she could feel him react. "Patience," she whispered.

He was breathing hard, but managed to get out, "This is payback, isn't it?"

She moved a little more, up, down, feeling him slide in and out of her. "I want to see what you can take."

"Wench," he teased, tugging her hair a little. He did not, however, try to hurry her up. She probably should, but it just felt so good like this, slowly winding herself up. And pushing him to the edge of his clearly considerable patience. 

She was almost at her own limit when his hands finally started tugging at her with a bit of urgency. "Enough?" she gasped, surprised at how harsh her voice sounded.

"More than," he growled, pulling her forcefully down onto him.

When she felt him bottom out it was just a hair short of hurting and made her shudder. She was so, so close. She kissed him, messy and deep, and mumbled, "Then fuck me like you want to."

Another, wordless growl, and his fingers dug into her. He flipped them, pinning her down on the bed and began to drive into her with enough force she slid on the sheets. The different angle, the different speed and intensity, pushed her higher and higher, past the point she thought she would break. Faster, harder, more, nails dragging down his back and leaving marks, she lost touch with everything but this. She felt a shock and a tingle and little sparks of electricity ghost over her skin. Pleasure exploded and all she could do was scream.

She was dimly aware of him following her after a few more rough thrusts, then collapsing on top of her, panting. When she could move, which may have been a while, she turned her head to nuzzle him and kiss his mouth. With a sigh that seemed to come from his soul, he kissed her back, shifting a little so as not to smother her.

As they parted, a spark danced from his lips to hers and she giggled. As much as someone like her giggled, anyway.

He patted her side, laughing. "Sorry about that. Didn't singe you, did I?"

"No, not at all." She trailed her fingers down his arm until she could lace them with his. "The lightning is part of you, and you wouldn't hurt me." How she knew that, she was a little too drunk to contemplate. But knew it she did.

He kissed her tenderly. "Not ever."

There was a blanket at the foot of the bed, and she pulled it over them, then tucked herself into him and closing her eyes. "Sleep will do us good."

"A good night's sleep cures a lot of things," he agreed, wrapping his arms around her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Lust she was familiar with. Affection she was not. But he was a force of nature. Like the weather. She couldn't stop it if she tried._

Waking up the morning after the worst day of your life was a little nicer with company. There were dozens of things that needed thinking about, and plenty of things to feel that Thor didn't have space in his head for. But he could feel her warm body tucked up against his before he even opened his eye, and he was glad not to be alone.

He did feel very sore and bruised, though. Based on Valkyrie's groan, so did she. "It's morning," was what she said in greeting.

"So it is." He attempted stretching and found he rather regretted it. "I suppose that means we should get up."

"Lots to do." She sat up slowly and stretched her arms over her head, then pulled her hair over her shoulder to try and detangle it. "You okay?"

He blew out a breath and considered. "I'm certainly better than I was yesterday. Okay might be stretching it."

"It's a start." Braid finished, she climbed over him and out of the bed. "I'm going to find something a little less revealing to wear, and then figure out how to get our armor cleaned."

He had never had to clean his armor in his entire adult life. "I used to be able to repair it, and myself, with Mjolnir. I may be able to just do it with the lightning."

"Without blowing the ship up?" She was standing naked in front of the closet, rifling through it, something he could honestly watch all day.

"I didn't seem to blow anything up last night. Control is getting easier."

"Was that a concern?" She sounded more amused than anything else. She found a robe of some sort and wandered over to the bar.

"You were the one making me crackle and spark," he pointed out, finally sitting up and swinging his legs out of bed.

She stopped halfway through pouring a drink. "That doesn't usually happen?"

"That was a first."

She finished pouring her drink, and then took a swig. It was probably way too early in the morning to be drinking, but he wasn't getting into that. She left the drink on the bar and came back to him, watching him as he stood. "I think I'm flattered." Before he could reply, she went up on her toes to kiss him. She tasted like alcohol and sex. Like the first thing that had made him feel _good_ in years.

The lightning stirred.

She grinned as it crackled between them. He tucked his hands around her waist. "We don't have to get moving just yet, do we?"

"There's a lot to do still, people will be knocking soon." She kissed him again and he wanted to pull her back into bed. "I don't want to be seen sneaking out of your room in a bathrobe."

He grumbled in disappointment, but let her step out of his arms. "Later."

She took all the armor with her, which left him to empty the Grandmaster's closets in search of something, anything that wasn't ridiculously, well, ridiculous. He was still at it when she returned, an hour later, wearing hers and carrying his. "I found someone with regular magic happy to do a favor for the King."

"I am forever in their debt," he said, closing the closet door with a bit too much force. "I was about to declare an edict making nudity compulsory."

"I would enjoy that." She crossed the room and retrieved the bottle she'd opened that morning. "There's even a matching eye patch in there."

"Are we entirely sure it was meant to go over the eye?" he asked, strapping his armor on. It wasn't the most comfortable thing to spend a day in, but it was covering and fit, and currently that's all he cared about.

"If it were pasties there would be two of them."

"I was thinking more an inappropriately small jock strap."

"Well, if that's the case then I really need to go defend your honor to the laundry lady."

He chuckled and finished dressing, settling the new eye patch on. "How do I look?"

"Less like your father than I'd have expected." She gestured at the door. "I have things to do. You should really think about where we're going. Baring that, go entertain the people in the cargo bay, they're waiting for, well, brunch. We're going to need supplies pretty soon." She gave him a little salute and left.

He fussed with patch for a few more, pondering that he was apparently reduced to entertainment. Though they had enjoyed his tales.

And then his brother appeared.

Loki, whatever his other faults, had managed to run Asgard for several years. They sat down together and sorted through their options, eventually deciding Earth was their best bet for a new home. It was a long haul from their current location, but there were several refueling stations along the way.

By the time Thor was in the hold, sorting out dinner rations, he felt a bit better about their predicament.

He'd seen Valkyrie in passing at various points. She stopped by to introduce her to the woman who was cleaning clothes with her magic—and she was about 7,000 years old, making him feel terrible about the jock strap joke. 

"Thank you very much for your help," he told her sincerely, just like his mother had taught him.

"It's a pleasure to be of assistance to my King." A label that still made him uncomfortable. "Perhaps you will be able to make Asgard what it once was, again."

"I hope so." Though which Asgard, exactly, she was referring to, he wasn't sure. There were some versions probably best forgotten.

"I remember," she said, nodding. "Before Hela. Before the gold and gilt. I am older than Mjolnir. You should have seen how beautiful the meadows were."

He smiled. "We'll find new meadows, my lady. And not make the same mistakes."

After dinner, Heimdal convinced him to turn the ship in the opposite direction, temporarily, for a closer supply stop, and he somehow got roped into helping with engine repairs. The people working on it, a mix of Asgardian and escapees from Sakaar, thought he was the least likely to get electrocuted while they fixed some wiring. 

He did get shocked a few times, but he also managed to supercharge them enough they'd get to their supply stop in half the time. He was tired and vaguely smoking when he finally got back to his room, ready to collapse into bed.

Someone started knocking on his door when he was halfway through getting his armor off.

"Who is it?" he called, chest piece balanced in his hands.

"Valkyrie. You have all the booze."

Well, she could certainly see him shirtless. "Come in."

She walked in, stopped, and gave him an appraisal wasn't at all subtle. She was in leather pants and a tank top, remnant of the outfit she'd been wearing when they left Sakaar, and when she went over to rummage in the bar, he had a moment to admire how fantastically they fit her ass.

"How was your day?" he asked, setting his armor on a chair next to the bed.

That got an amused smile. "Long. Yours?"

"Same. I got the engine running better, though. So that's something."

She opened a bottle, sniffed it, and then took a long drink. Then she leaned against the bar. "You must be tired."

He nodded. "I don't suspect tomorrow will be any shorter." Or any day, until they got where they were going.

"I think it will settle out. We're not going to have to inventory the toilet paper every day." She held up the bottle she was holding. "You mind if I take this?"

"I don't mind. You're also welcome to stay and share it."

She watched him now, and her gaze had heat to it. He could almost feel it like a touch. "You have my attention." 

He lifted a shoulder, attempting casual. "I mean. I'm tired. Not _exhausted_."

The way she grinned at him, she looked adorable. And young. "Someday, I desperately need you to explain to me how you can be so good in bed and so bad at flirting."

"Do you imagine I had to do a lot of seducing in my younger days?"

"I'm guessing back then you didn't smell vaguely like ozone and burnt plastic."

Almost despite himself, he lifted an arm and sniffed. Yeah, that wasn't pleasant. "Admittedly, my prospects aren't what they once were."

She walked towards him, catching him by the arm and practically pulling him into the bathroom. She let him go to turn the shower on. "If we get bored with each other, I'll buy you a nice hooker at the next station. Or maybe one to share." She looked over her shoulder. "Strip."

He was not accustomed to taking orders, but that was one he was happy to comply with. He took off his under tunic, then leaned on the wall to pull off his boots. She yanked off her tank top and had to wiggle out of those pants.

"That's just unfair," he told her, kicking off his own pants.

"It's perfectly fair if I'm trying to turn you on." She stepped into the spray and tipped her head back, and for a moment he was frozen just stating at her, water running down and dripping off the tips of her breasts.

Shedding the last of his smallclothes, he stepped into the water with her, bending and taking her mouth in a kiss. He consciously pushed the lighting down as the kiss took off—water and all. But he could feel it. There was just something about. . .her.

Somehow she managed to turn them so he was more under the water. She nibbled on his lower lip, then retrieved soap and a cloth from somewhere and set about washing him.

He couldn't remember the last time someone had taken care of him this way. It might have been his mother when he was a child. For a few minutes he just leaned into her, letting her wash off the worst of the day. She was careful around the wounds still healing, and sometimes he felt her fingers instead of the cloth. They were gentle and soothing, but he startled when she reached up to take the eye patch off. It was silly he'd worn it in the shower, and she'd seen it when it was brand new and dripping blood down his face.

But she sensed the hesitation, so she kissed him and whispered, "It's okay."

He wasn't entirely sure of that, but he nodded and let her take the patch off, before leaning down and resting his forehead on hers. She washed his hair while they stood like that, soapy water running down both of their faces, breathing in time. 

When the water was running clear, he slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to kiss her deeply. Her arms wound around his neck and she met the kiss, standing up on her toes to get closer. He tightened his arms, lifting her a little, getting lost in it. For the moment, he was content to have her be his entire world.

It was the easiest thing to turn and lift her against the smooth wall of the shower. She wrapped her legs around him and somehow they just fit together. As her body closed around him, warm and wet and welcoming, he couldn't contain the lightning anymore, feeling it sing over his skin and wrap around them.

He rocked into her, trying to take his time so she could come along with him. She felt amazingly good, when little else did. And the noises she made and the way her nails and heels dug into him were the most arousing things in the universe.

"Please," she begged, sounding just like she had last night lifting up against his mouth and yanking at his hair. "Please, please. I can-" She broke off, giving a desperate sounding cry. "I can feel. . ."

"What is it?" he rumbled, shifting her to thrust a bit deeper. "What can you feel?"

She sucked in a breath and seemed to hold it, her body squeezing tight around him. He opened his eye, wanting to watch her come. As she started to shake, he could see the pleasure on her face and the glow of the lightning in her eyes.

With a growl, he pressed her harder into the wall and thrust deep, shuddering with his own release. Electricity crackled over his skin.

They had to calm a little before it finally subsided. He was still holding her up, and he could feel her still trembling. The shower was large enough to have a little bench and he staggered back to sit on it, Valkyrie in his lap, both of them breathing hard.

She rested her head on his shoulder. "Okay," she said eventually. "I'll admit it. God of Thunder."

He laughed, wrapping his arms around her and giving her a squeeze. "You're welcome."

"We're wasting water," she murmured, though she made no attempt to move.

"I'm king, I'm allowed."

"Mmm. I should wash my hair." She lifted her head and pecked a kiss on his mouth, and then climbed up. She was still wobbly and had to brace her hand on the wall. He probably shouldn't be as proud of that as he was.

He watched her wash and rinse her hair, then managed to get to his feet to help her work conditioner in it, then dumped a handful of soap in a wash cloth and washed her back. "If you are fishing for round two, I don't think I have it in me."

"I'm just being nice," he informed her, dropping a kiss on her shoulder.

"Then I'll allow it." There was something very content in her sigh. He wondered when was the last time someone had taken care of her. Probably even longer than him.

He washed her whole body, making sure not to get fresh. When he was done and she was thoroughly rinsed, he turned the water off and drew her out, wrapping them both in fluffy towels. She sat cross-legged on the bed to untangle her hair, dry it, and put it in braids. He sat behind her to help her, because she had a lot of hair. 

It was the sort of calm, domestic moment he'd hoped to share with a wife someday. He didn't express this thought out loud, sure she would not appreciate it. But he found himself enjoying it almost as much as the sex.

"I was thinking of getting a drink," she said. "I but I'm not sure I want to."

That might be a first since he'd met her. "What do you want to do instead?"

"Nothing. This. It's been a long time since I wanted to be in the moment I'm in."

Smiling, he kissed the back of her neck. "Me too."

She shivered. "If I were to reconsider round two, I have terms."

"I'm listening."

"I don't have a lot of sex with men, and all of them—and really all the toys I've ever owned, as well—have been smaller. Once a night is about all I can take. Particularly if we're going to do this regularly. The vag is closed for the evening."

He really did adore how blunt she was about such things. "That's reasonable."

"Good." She patted his knee. "Finish my hair."

*

Valkyrie wasn't sure if replacing her drinking habit with a fucking habit was healthy, but it certainly was more fun.

It didn't entirely happen on purpose. It was just the the bar in Thor's room was where all the booze was. During the day she was busy, and at night when she knocked. . . he had better things to do with her. To her. 

She could not recall the last time she had sex this good. Probably the last time she had someone in her bed she whose company she enjoyed. Lust she was familiar with. Affection she was not. But he was a force of nature. Like the weather. She couldn't stop it if she tried.

Getting things, when they made their first supply stop, was entirely Valkyrie's job. Asgardians historically had stayed in their golden bubble, and knew very little about how things went in the wider galaxy. The guys from Sakaar, well meaning as they were, had been slaves so long she feared it would be very easy to take advantage of.

She roped Loki into helping her. She didn't like the man, but he could sell rocks to a Kronan. 

Her long time as a scrapper gave her a very good eye for what was valuable, and they stripped the ship of everything it could afford to lose, in order to hock. They had a lot of mouths to feed.

"The fixtures in your bathroom are solid gold," Loki commented as they cataloged their scrap pile.

"It's not my bathroom," she replied. "But I will ask him about them."

One brow arched. "You spend every night there. Surely it's as much yours as his?"

"You can sleep somewhere without living somewhere," she replied. She could hear how stupid that sounded.

A very old memory surfaced, one she'd buried beneath an ocean of alcohol. Eir ducking under the tent flap, knocking the dirt off her boots. _I'm not carrying a symbolic tent anymore, Brun. Everyone knows._

She glared at Loki, because he'd stirred all that shit up, too. "It's not your business."

"Of course it isn't. Forget I said anything."

The ship was crowded. It was wasteful for her to have quarters she never used. "I think this os a good start," she said, gesturing at the pile. "We'll see what we get for it."

He checked a few more things off his list and nodded. "Agreed. With a little haggling it will gets us a few months of rations." It would take months, too. This was not a speedy ship. It was a bloated cruise boat not intended for long distance travel. They were going to have to lumber their way through jump points like a cargo ship.

"We should put aside some money for clothes. Or maybe just cloth. Do you know if Marit can conjure outfits from plain cloth?" 

He tilted his head. "I'll ask, but from what I know of her breed of magic, it should be possible."

"Excellent. Shall we haggle?"

With a gesture, all the goods disappeared in a flash of green, going wherever it was he put things. "Ladies first."

Loki used magic to clean up some of the items, and all in all they had a very good haul. Food, supplies, sundries, and a good supply of alcohol—because they were Asgardian after all. Valkyrie got a bottle for herself, but she hadn't decided if she would drink it or not.

"A pleasure doing business with you, Valkyrie," Loki said once they returned on board. The way he said the word it sounded more like a title than a name. Which, of course, is what it was. But she had not used her given name in centuries, and it felt like it belonged to someone else. So she would take her sisters' name as hers now, the last bit of honor she could give them.

"And we didn't have one single knife fight," she said to Loki. "I'm proud of us."

"I feel like we're growing as people."

"I will still stab you if you get in my personal space."

He sketched a bow. "I'd cut off my hand before touching you."

"You get in my head again, I will hogtie you and take you back to Sakaar to feed you to the scavengers in the garbage sea."

He looked like he couldn't decide if he was impressed or offended. "Understood."

She started to turn, and then stopped, looking back at him. "And if you betray your brother again, you will _wish_ I'd fed you to the scavengers."

Now he tipped all the way over to offended. "I don't need you to threaten me to not betray my brother."

She really hoped they didn't have to have that knife fight now. "I don't care what you need, I care what he needs. Which is to be able to trust the only family he's got left. If I have to enforce that at the point of a sword, I will. It's not a threat, just a statement of consequences. You do what you will, I'll do what I must and we'll see where we end up. I hope it's Midgard in one piece, but it's up to you, not me."

"I would not have come back if I had not intended to be the brother I once was. Thor has nothing to fear from me." He paused, then added. "He is also the only family I have left."

Valkyrie inclined her head. "Good. Then we shouldn't have any problems."

He inclined his head in return, then turned and left.

She's won that little standoff, and had a glorious day at the markets, so Valkyrie had no idea why she still felt unsettled. Or maybe she did. He'd pulled her memories up to the surface and she'd been shoving them back down with distraction—with work and sex. That probably wouldn't hold forever.

So she did what seemed easy and natural and safe because it was what she'd been doing with her unwanted emotions for so very many years. She took her bottle back to her cramped room—it was barely more than a closet—and drank it until she was numb.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Everyone is broken. Somehow. Doesn't mean they're not worthy of someone caring for them."_

Valkyrie was sitting drunk on her bed and strongly considering passing out when there was a knock at the door.

"What?" she called, squinting at the door.

"Is everything all right?" Thor asked through the door.

"'M'fine." She picked her boot up off the floor and swung it at the button that opened the door, pleased it only took two attempts to hit it. 

He blinked in surprise, then hesitantly stepped inside, carefully avoiding the boot in his way. "Did something go wrong today? I know you were supposed to barter at the station."

"I sold. I hocked. Like an intergalactic pawn shop. And then I bought all that shit in the cargo bay." She pointed up, then down, because she couldn't remember what deck she was on. "And also this bottle, which is really strong." She held it up and peered through the neck. "Was. It's empty. I spent all day with your brother and I only threatened to kill him once. I got you pants."

"Thank you," he said. "For the pants and not killing Loki." He crouched down in front of her. "Are you drinking in victory, then?"

"Victors don't drink alone," she replied, though she no longer remembered what she'd lost.

He touched her leg gently. "What's wrong, Valkyrie?"

It was all a jumble in her head. Old, new, now, then. "Sold my armor. Not now," she added at his frown. "Back then. Sold everything, really. Gear, jewelry, some really nice daggers. My hair. Sex. Anything to not go back to Asgard. But I never sold Dragonfang. She went back to Asgard after all."

When she looked at his face, he looked understandably confused, but he shifted to sit next to her. "You used her to defeat Hela. Got your revenge."

"I know, I know. That was a side track. I sold the armor. Place like this today, and I think it stirred. . .and then your stupid brother. That didn't help."

"Old wounds got opened?" he asked gently.

That was the understatement of the galaxy. "Killing her didn't heal them. Not that I expected it to. I thought I was just bravely choosing my manner of death. See my sisters in Valhalla."

"I'm sorry you're hurting. But I, for one, am very glad you made it through."

She put her head on his shoulder. "I am always hurt, or numb. Except sometimes when I'm yours."

He put an arm around her, rubbing her back. "You are mine."

If she was sober, that might bother her. Prickle some kind of fear. But he felt so warm and safe. "Why did you come down here?"

"You didn't come to my room. I was worried about you."

"I think I'm too drunk to be any use." She shrugged. "Guess I could try if you don't care I might pass out."

"You could just come and sleep," he told her.

"My bed here is really shitty." Sure. Furniture. That's what this was about.

"All right." He got to his feet and reached his hands down for her. "Come on."

She swayed but stayed upright, and he mercifully made no offer to carry her. In his room, she gracelessly stripped by the side of the bed, leaving her things in a messy pile. She lost her balance taking her pants off, falling face first onto the bed. The bed was so comfortable, she decided her pants could just stay on one ankle. She was never moving.

After a moment, she felt his hands, sure and gentle on her leg, carefully taking the pants the rest of the way off. He pulled the covers back, tugging them out from under her, then covered her with them, tucking her legs up onto the bed. She held her hand out in the direction of his side of the bed. She was only sort of awake, and the world was spinning, but she wanted to touch him.

It took forever, but eventually he was there, tugging her into his side so she could settle against him.

In her dreams Valkyrie was spinning, too. The whole battlefield spun. Hela. The horses. Screaming. Blood and death in every direction. The spinning stopped. Still and slow motion. Eir reaching, her reaching back. Wanting to touch her. The tip of a sword ripping its way through.

It was the kind of wound that was agonizing, and mortal, but not fast. Eir cried and choked and Hela _laughed_.

_I'm not going to kill you. What's a massacre with no one to tell the tale?_

The spin picked up again, and Valkyrie's stomach lurched. She wasn't even sure when the dream gave way to being awake. She might have been out of bed before it had.

A lifetime as a hard drinker meant she could find a receptacle to puke in blind.

A hand started rubbing her back as he handed her a cup of water. "Easy."

She was on the floor, and leaned her back against the bar—she'd lurched for the trash can next to it. "Fuck."

"Bad dreams?"

"Bad booze." She coughed and accepted the cup—to rinse her mouth if nothing else. "And bad dreams."

"You were thrashing," he told her. "Violently."

"Sorry," she whispered. Her hands were shaking. The dream clung to her like it was real. Maybe because it was. "I can go back downstairs."

"No. I didn't mean that." He covered her hands with his. "Do you want to tell me about it? Sometimes that helps."

"When we fought on Sakaar, your brother dug around in my head and pulled up the memory of the worst day of my life. My subconscious wanted an encore."

"I've heard that dreams are our subconscious's way of processing what we can't."

She stared into the dimness of the room. "It was the day Hela killed the Valkyrior."

He flattened a hand on her back, rubbing in circles. "I was told it was a slaughter."

"She killed them all and left me as a witness." She leaned into him. "When you fight in a battle, there is slashing and stabbing and shooting. Wounds are nasty but the fatal ones are often swift. No one suffers long with a cut throat. Hela threw swords at center mass." She pressed her hand over his abs above his navel. "She liked to hit right there. Sometimes it would sever the spine. Some of my sisters got lucky like that. Most didn't."

"You watched them die," he filled in. Certainly he had been on enough battlefields to see what that kind of wound did.

"All of them. Including a woman I loved. Eir. She was trying to protect me and got it into the back." She could see that sword tip in slow motion if she closed her eyes. Valkyrie inhaled and her breath hitched. "It's not the sight, it's the sound. There's no bravery or glory or nobility in that kind of death. Just agony and choking on your own blood."

"I know." He tugged her into a hug. "I've seen it. Not to anyone I loved. But to men I've been leading, fighting beside. I'm sorry."

"Hela laughed," she mumbled, cheek pressed against his chest and his steady heartbeat in her ear. "She found watching us suffer very entertaining."

"She was a real bitch," he said solemnly.

"Yeah." She closed her eyes. "Afterwards, I didn't care. About anything. Like if I was reckless enough, I'd finally get myself killed."

"That's when you started drinking?"

"Numbness was an improvement."

"It will never heal if you keep running from it."

There was a lump in her throat now that she couldn't swallow. "Maybe some things never heal."

"Maybe," he conceded. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try."

She sighed. "How can you possibly have any optimism left?"

"Without it, what do I have left?"

"I'm not one to answer that. I already have nothing left."

"You have me," he told her.

She leaned back and looked up at him, reaching to sift her fingers through his hair. "You don't want me. I'm a disaster. I'm so broken I don't think the pieces can ever be put back together."

"Everyone is broken. Somehow. Doesn't mean they're not worthy of someone caring for them."

He looked so damn sincere it made her want to believe it. Even if she didn't. "That's going to be a tough sell. But I'll try."

"That's all I ask."

*

Being the leader of a cruise ship full of refugees wasn't as intimidating as being King of Asgard the realm. But it was, in a way, more work. There was no sitting on a golden throne giving orders. Thor had to do just as much as everyone else, maybe more, as given the typical composition of any given group refugees—women and children and the very old. Most of the young, strong men had died fighting Hela. As their time in space went on, his people got over their discomfort asking him to carry heavy things.

He was also in no way doing it alone.

If he was honest with himself, taking on Hela with a drunk woman who hadn't fought in a battle since before his birth had been an act of desperation, and a little childhood hero worship. He hadn't realized who she really was until he saw Dragonfang, and hadn't been certain how she'd fight until he watched her take down a battleship with a sword. But it wasn't until they were on the ship and she'd stopped drinking so much that he understood why she'd once commanded Asgard's most elite military unit. By the time they'd been on their journey a month, that ship was running like a well oiled machine, and it was mostly to Valkyrie's credit. She even had Loki, for probably the first time in his entire life, taking orders without complaint.

"You are a better leader than me," he admitted one day over supper.

"I have more experience," she replied, scooping up some noodles. "You're getting the hang of it."

"I feel like I'm learning. Watching you."

She ducked her head. "I am immensely flattered."

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her. "Thank you."

"And anyway, you're going to have to do this for the rest of your life. I'm just trying to get us to Midgard."

She was an excellent leader, but sometimes obtuse. "What do you think you'll be doing then? When we get to Midgard?"

"I actually had a thought about that." Valkyrie got up to pour herself some ale. She let herself have a glass or so a day, but was pretty strict about not having more. "I know you're pretty adamant about there not being any more Asgardian Army," she started.

"We need to be seen as peaceful, if Midgardians are going to accept us."

"I get that. But you were talking the other day about your Avengers and the Chitari invasion. And Bruce said 'they hate us until they need us, but they always need us'. You don't think if there's another alien invasion their governments won't suddenly turn and say, 'Hey, village of Viking Gods, _help_."

It had occurred to him, he had to admit. "No, I know. But most of the people here. . . aren't warriors."

"Many are perfectly capable. It's just that at some point since the massacre of the Valkyries, Asgard stopped training its women."

He paused. "That's a very good point. And now that I think of it, I saw several noble women wielding weapons on the bridge against Hela's minions."

"Some of them were fighting with cooking vessels and bottles."

"That's even more impressive. So you want to start training?"

"That's the general idea. It will help with restlessness and boredom, too."

"I have no objections. Certainly knowing they can defend themselves would make me feel better."

Valkyrie sectioned off part of the big cargo bay for training space, and recruited anyone who was willing. Her classes were popular, and sometimes Thor strolled over the catwalks lining the ceiling, just to watch.

She was a joy to watch, both how she moved and how she taught. It was nothing like the harsh training he'd had as a child. She was supportive, if exacting. Her corrections were clear without being demeaning. He could see improvement, in even the smallest and least trained of the group.

"You know I watched her for centuries." Heimdal had apparently come to watch with him. "I thought eventually she'd call the bifrost and ask to come home."

"I believe she didn't think there was anything left for her in Asgard."

"Perhaps she was correct." Down below, something she said made the other women laugh. "Your father made his share of mistakes. What he did to the Valkyries was particularly unforgivable." 

"She's told me some of it. He should never have sent them after Hela. He would have known what would happen."

"He did. He sent them to buy time. They weren't expected to survive. Just to distract her and keep her on Niflheim until he could face what he needed to do." He looked at Thor. "I believe the phrase they use on Midgard is canon fodder."

Thor felt a spike of anger and breathed through it. "He was not that man I thought him to be."

"You only saw him after he was old and learned his lessons. Lessons you yourself needed to learn. When you marched through the bifrost to try and start a war with Jotunheim the day of your canceled coronation. . .I thought that was the road we were on, again. Though your brother told on you for selfish reasons, as it turned out he may have saved your soul."

"He must have seen himself in me. His mistakes. That's why he reacted as he did. Sending me away."

"I believe so. He chose to cover his sins, erase them from Asgard's collective memory. He felt guilty enough about what happened to the Valkyries that he effectively banned women from the army." Heimdal's eyes unfocused, like they did when he was seeing something far away, or long ago. "That he did not erase them entirely, too, is to Brunhilde's credit." Thor had not, until that moment, known her given name. Despite the fact that they had yet to spend a night apart. 

"My mother told me the stories. Always my mother. Father would snort and mutter about filling my head with nonsense."

"Odin expected them all to die, and chose not to send anyone after them to retrieve the bodies. They died at the mouth of Hel, and could not get to Valhalla from there." He sighed. "I've seen a lot of pointless sacrifice of troops, but that was the part that was unforgivable."

Thor nodded. Asgardians did not have many religious or spiritual beliefs. But their funeral rites were important and deeply revered. Not collecting the bodies of fallen warriors was almost unheard of. "He covered up his ill deeds, hoping they would never come to light. And when it was clear they would, he dumped it in my lap and conveniently died."

"He knew he had to kill her, and I think couldn't bring himself to."

"Hmm." That was to his credit, he supposed. Thor couldn't deny his father had loved his children, in whatever way he was capable of. Even Loki, in the end. "After so many years. . . sometimes all I can see are his flaws."

"Time may give you a more balanced picture. Or maybe it won't, and that will inform how you rule. I think your mother steered him on a better path."

"He used to say women have a way of changing us." He smiled. "And she certainly took credit for any and all his good deeds."

"It was well earned." He nodded in the direction of the bay below. Valkyrie had them doing some sort of stretches. "Your mother would approve of her."

"Yes," Thor said thoughtfully. "She would. Valkyrie is. . . a bit like approaching a feral cat. I can't get too close or she bolts."

"I certainly would not want to cross her."

"No. Certainly not." He watched the group a moment. "This has been good for her. Having people to lead, a job to do."

"We all are best at who we are." Heimdal paused. "It's good for you, too."

"Her having a job to do?"

"You having help."

Thor smiled and nodded, watching again. "It is nice. To feel like I have a partner."

"No one can carry it on their own."

"Hopefully she'll still be willing to help carry it when we land."

When she got back to the room that evening, she seemed to be in a particularly good mood. He hadn't mentioned that in his conversation with Heimdal, but this was the other thing he liked so much about her training classes. Afterwards she was wound and loved for him to unwind her.

"Good training today?" he asked her.

"It was." She went into the bathroom and turned the tub taps on. "I saw you watching."

He hadn't been trying to hide. "I like seeing you in your element."

"We should spar," she told him. "So you don't get rusty."

"I would _love_ that."

She turned towards him, eyebrow up. Then she reached behind herself and turned the water off. "Come on."

"Right now?"

"Yes. Loser washes the winner's back."

That didn't sound like much of a punishment, but he nodded in agreement and followed her out of the room.

He was bigger than her, and stronger than her. But he was very used to fighting with heavy weapons—like a hammer—or at very least the lightning. She could clearly hold her own in a bare-knuckle bar brawl, and absolutely kicked his ass.

"I yield, I yield," he said, out of breath and half laughing. "You are my better."

She was sitting on his chest and kneeling on his arms, and she swung herself off him, though he honestly wouldn't have minded if she hadn't. She was at least also breathing hard. "You came close a couple of times."

"I will take that as high praise." He sat up, stretching out one of his shoulders.

"Your depth perception is all fucked up with only one eye. Practice and re-training might do you good."

He nodded. "You make a good point. I shouldn't depend wholly on the lightning."

"I can help with that." She pulled herself to her feet, and held out a hand to him. "I wanted to make sure we could actually spar and not end the fight naked in the cargo bay."

She pulled him up and he grinned, lightly kissing her cheek. "I mean. It could be an option."

"Being beaten up does it for you, eh?"

"Not usually. But you do it so well."

Tugging on his hands, she said, "Come on. Bath. And then we'll start tomorrow."

"I think you just like giving me orders," he said, letting her drag him along.

"Hey, maybe that does it for me."

"That doesn't surprise me at all."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He chuckled. "You think I'd be sitting here on the Slow Boat to Midgard if I had the Tesseract? It's somewhere in the rubble of Asgard, probably in small pieces. Maybe Thanos will waste a decade digging through the debris field."_

It did, in fact, kind of do it for her. She enjoyed training with him immensely, though not just because it made the sex even better. He was as close to her equal as anyone on the ship, so it kept her from getting rusty, and was a hell of a lot of fun. Their sessions drew quite a crowd, too.

"We should charge admission," he joked. "Loki could be the Grandmaster part 2."

"It concerns me how much he would enjoy that." They were floating in the bathtub, because sometime they beat each other up enough they were too sore to fool around. At least until after a good hot water soak. She poked the faucet with her toe. "Next time we need supplies, we're going to need to yank these out."

"We will replace them, though, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. They're just gold. Loki asked me about them on the first run and I said I'd ask you, and then forgot."

"If it will buy us food, I'm happy to sell them."

She leaned back against him. "We had a small argument over whether I lived here or not."

"You and Loki? Was a decision come to?"

She shook her head. "I told him it was none of his business. But. . . he handles a lot of the intra-ship logistics, and apparently at some point a few weeks ago gave my room away."

He was clearly fighting laughter. "How long did it take you to notice?"

Valkyrie attempted to make a serious face at him. "I noticed today."

The laugher broke through. "I do have a nicer bed."

She punched his shoulder, trying not to laugh herself. "Shut up."

"Did you confront Loki about it? If not can I be there when you do?"

She sighed, shifting in the water to look at him. "You're okay with this?"

He looked surprised she'd asked. "Of course. I would say if I wouldn't."

"I don't know." She shrugged, not knowing how to explain. Nothing was actually, functionally, changing. She did live here. All of her things were here and she hadn't been to her room for more than short while since the night she got drunk in there and he came looking for her. But it still felt like it meant something. "We just. . ."

"I suppose we never really talked about it," he said thoughtfully. "Usually one discusses moving in together. But space is so limited here, I think we skipped it."

"Talking about. . . feelings isn't really my strong suit." 

"This information does not shock me."

She rubbed his arm. "Doesn't mean I don't have them."

"I know," he said gently, leaning over to kiss her temple. "Do you want to talk about them now?"

"Want is too strong a word. But I like being here. Sleeping here. And pretending this is just recreational is ridiculous even for someone as well-versed in denial as I am."

"I have been avoiding bringing it up. Because I thought it would send you running. But this is certainly the most serious relationship I've ever had."

"Where would I run to? We're all stuck on a ship together." That wasn't entirely true. The Commodore was still docked to the hull. She could take that and go any time she wanted.

"If you wanted to avoid me, I have confidence you could."

"Your brother told me you gave up your throne for a human woman. Which does sound kind of. . . serious."

Thor tipped his head back, considering. "It wasn't entirely for her. She was a factor, to be sure. Mostly it was because I didn't want to be the king I believed I would have to be. And I wanted the freedom to help the other realms."

"The kind of King your father was?"

"Yes. He might have stopped the worst of his conquering, but he still held a lot of his peace at the end of a sword."

"And what of the woman?"

"It didn't work out. She had her work, I had mine. Long distance is rather insurmountable when it requires space travel. It wasn't the ending I'd have liked, but in the end it was best."

"Their lives are very short." She looked up at him. "Ours are not."

He inclined his head. "A blessing and a curse, I think."

"I was not always like this," she told him, splashing the water a little. "Eir and I entertained the idea of her leaving the Valkyrior so we could get married."

He didn't bother to hide his surprise. "Do you think you would have?"

"I don't know," she replied, shifting to lean on him again. "She was a healer, she could have had an occupation outside of the army. And having a home to come back to after a battle. . .warmth, safety, family. . .it was very appealing. She'd have lived if I'd said yes."

"She'd have lived without you," he pointed out. "Something she clearly didn't want to do."

"In time everyone moves on, falls in love again. She'd have made a better life of her survival than I have."

He rubbed her back gently. "We live long lives. You still have time to make something of it."

"I suppose we shall see," she said. "The water is getting cold."

"Mmm. So it is." He kissed the back of her neck, then shifted her, helping her get to her feet. 

They dried off, and she put on one of those flimsy dresses from the closet she only wore when lounging around the room, and he put on that red robe she enjoyed taking off. "For what it's worth, I think you're a better King than he was."

"Given your experience with him, I feel a bit damned with faint praise. But thank you."

"Well, I've only known two kings. Three if you count the Grandmaster, which I'm not sure helps."

He laughed. "I am certainly winning if that's my competition."

Valkyrie reached out and fussed with the robe's lapels. "I just mean, don't worry about when we get to Midgard. We'll set up a new home and I have every faith in you to run it."

He caught her hands, thumbs running along her skin. "Thank you."

"And I will help you as much as you need."

"Good. I will need it."

She went up on her toes to kiss him, and he held her face in his hands. She felt him sigh and then she felt the sparks dance on her skin between his fingers. Sometimes there was no lightning, and sometimes there was so much she could feel it in every corner of her body (which was a strange sensation that made for a hell of an orgasm). But she never saw him do it under any other circumstances. If they were talking about their relationship, which they sort of were, then she was going to ask. "Why does that only seem to happen with me?"

"I have no idea," he admitted. "It's never happened before. I know very little about how the lightning works. And it's not a topic of magic training I've wanted to bring up with Loki."

"Sex magic? Yeah, I can understand that."

"Especially because he would know exactly why I wanted to know."

"Heimdal might know."

He opened his mouth, then stopped, looking thoughtful. "He might. And tends to not tease, no matter the topic of conversation."

"It might be good to know," she said, leaning up to kiss him again. "If on a planet with an atmosphere we'll make an entire storm."

"That might be fun," he replied, smiling that smile that warmed her blood. She pulled him closer and they stopped talking. She was in way, way over her head with this man. The craziest thing was that it didn't seem to bother her at all.

*

It took Thor a couple of days to actually mention it to Heimdal. "I've been trying to better understand how the lightning works. My father didn't give me a lot of instructions."

"If I recall correctly, he told you the power came from Mjolnir and not you."

"Which was clearly a lie that was perpetuated for several centuries."

They were on the bridge of the ship, looking out at the stars. "That was sometimes his way."

He really wasn't in the mood to talk about his father again. "Now that I've learned to access it without the hammer, I'm struggling to understand it"

Heimdal nodded. "When you call it, how do you do so?"

"It's been connected to emotions. Or desperation. But usually emotion."

"Desperation is an emotion. Likely a very fundamental one."

Thor lifted a shoulder. "Possibly."

"Your power is elemental to you. You likely call it easiest when you are closest to that. And to things you feel most deeply."

He cleared his throat. "So if I was manifesting it in reaction to a more. . . pleasant set of emotions. . . that wouldn't necessarily be a cause for worry?"

The other man didn't so much as raise an eyebrow, but clearly knew what he was talking about. "Does it hurt her?"

"No. She seems to enjoy it, to a degree. But it's only ever happened with her."

"Previously it was channeled through the hammer. Now it is, loose, for lack of a better word. And is called by things you feel deeply. If it is involuntary, though, you may wish to be careful. How much lightning are you talking about?"

"Mostly just small sparks and static. But she's said sometimes she feels it coursing through her. Similar to the way I experience it, I suppose."

The got Heimdal to turn and look at him. "Truly?"

"I've seen her eyes glow."

He looked back at the view screen. "That I have no explanation for. Perhaps she is your match."

Thor looked at him. "As in soulmates?"

"I don't think the universe is organized enough for something like that. But I do watch its many interactions, and people do best with a partner that is their equal. Fate has brought you someone who can handle lightning."

It was a nice thought. Romantic, even. She'd probably hate it. "So I shouldn't worry about it hurting her?" Heimdal didn't answer, staring out ahead, frown creasing his brow. Thor knew that look, and it wasn't good. "What is it?"

"There is a genocidal Titan called Thanos who likes to attack worlds and kill half their populations. He's often hidden from my gaze, but he is where I can see him now. He's in the process of decimating Xandar."

"Xandar?" That was light years away. "Any idea why?"

Heimdal sighed. "That is what he does. Though it may be more nefarious in this case. NovaCorps have an Infinity Stone in their vaults."

_Thanos_. That's why he knew that name. "I should talk to Loki."

"We are in no position to get involved."

"My concern is we may not have a choice."

"Very well. I will keep watch on this in the mean time."

"Thank you," Thor said, heading for the doors leading to the main part of the ship.

Thor found Loki in one of the common areas, reading a book. "We should have saved more of the libraries," he said by way of greeting.

"Midgard has books," Thor assured him.

"Not like ours." He looked up. "You look serious."

"Thanos is on the move. Heimdal says he's destroying Xandar."

Loki sighed. "Wonderful."

"Do you have the tesseract?"

He chuckled. "You think I'd be sitting here on the Slow Boat to Midgard if I had the Tesseract? It's somewhere in the rubble of Asgard, probably in small pieces. Maybe Thanos will waste a decade digging through the debris field."

Thor leaned over, bracing his hands on the arms of his brother's chair. "Loki. Did you take the tesseract when you went into the vault?"

"No. I did take the Casket of Ancient Winters, though. Because it didn't belong to Odin. And I thought it might be useful. This ship doesn't even have any guns on it."

He was tempted to ask one more time, but decided it was probably pointless. Loki could lie three times as easily as two. Or he was telling the truth and should start to get insulted. "Let's hope it isn't needed."

"Despite his dire threats, I'm sure he's forgotten all about me, once I ceased to be of use."

"Brother, I say this with both love and ire. You are very difficult to forget."

"Well, we're family, so you're probably required."

"Mmm." If he had the tesseract stashed somewhere, Thor was going to kill him.

When he told Valkyrie about it all that night, she was fairly merciless about it. "If you really think he has it, we need to put him off."

"I'm not going to space my brother."

"If you think he's really lying, and hiding the Tesseract from you, he's danger to everyone on this ship."

"I know," Thor said, feeling exhausted.

She reached out to rub his back. "You want me to go talk to him?"

"Do you think you'd be able to do it without bloodying him?"

He could hear her sigh, and then her hands still. "Probably not."

He patted her thigh affectionately. "I'll think about it. Maybe Heimdal knows something. Or I can poke my brother some more."

"If you think there is even a small possibility that someone could come for us, we should have an evacuation plan. I know this thing has pods."

"I agree," he said. "We should look into that, and make sure the plan gets disseminated to everyone."

"I'll see to it," she said.

"Thank you. For that I will consider kicking Loki off on the next stop."

He did consider. But it didn't matter. They never made it to the next stop. And in a way, it probably didn't matter if Loki had it. If Thanos thought Loki did, he'd come no matter what.

Thor understood the moment that ship loomed into view that they were doomed. The only hope he had, at all, was that Thanos had come in search of the Tesseract and would not be interested in a bunch of pods evacuating from the back.

He'd deal with that problem before he worried about his brother.

They had everyone in the big bay where the pods launched from. Valkyrie was supervising their loading with remarkable calmness, like the entire ship wasn't shaking with blaster hits. The hits were precise—the first had taken out the engines so they couldn't run, and now life support was failing.

"He won't blow us up," she said to him when he came over to check on the loading. "Not if he wants something." The ship rocked and she braced her hand on the wall.

"I know. Doesn't mean he won't cripple it enough to kill us. Make his search easier." He scanned the crowd. "How much longer?"

"I don't know, I didn't have a chance time a drill." The one she was standing beside filled. She pounded on the wall until the door closed, and then moved to the next. "We're probably halfway." She looked up at him. "I assume you won't get on until the very last pod?"

"You assume correctly. But you should find one to captain."

"I will be on the last pod with you, thank you." 

Of course she would. A particularly hard hit shook them. "I'd really prefer you went ahead."

"So I'm not here to keep you from doing something stupidly self-sacrificial?"

She knew him far too well. "No?"

Clearly she'd been hoping to be wrong, because she put her hands on her hips. "Thor, I need you to be a King and not a Mythic Hero right now. If you're planning on not getting on one at all so you can stay and defend your brother from Thanos. . ."

"I was thinking more keeping him distracted so he didn't decide to go after the escaping pods."

She closed her eyes briefly, then said. "Fair. Go with them, I'll stay and do it."

"You know I'm not going to do that," he said gently.

"I do. But you should. As I said, your people need a King, not a martyr. And protecting you is _literally_ my job." The lights went off, and then emergency lights came back a dim red. The power systems had likely finally failed. And likely taken the shields with them. He could see on her face she knew it, too.

"Our people will need a protector more than they need a king."

She watched the crowd a moment. When she looked back at him there was grief in her eyes, and he knew he'd won.

He touched her cheek. "I will follow as soon as I can."

She went up on her toes to kiss him, and she whispered, "No you won't."

No, he probably wouldn't. He hugged her tightly, kissing her. "Go." There was a bright flare of light behind them, and when he turned he could see Thanos and a bunch of his minions had appeared at the far end of the bay. "Go," he repeated with far more force.

People were running now, screaming, shoving their way into the pods. The very last thing he did before charging forward was look back at her climbing into the pod. He didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't for her to look back at him and mouth, "I love you."

Before he could respond, Thanos's troops opened fire into the crowd.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Emotional containment cracked, and something leaked out and scalded her like acid. She had to breathe to shove it back down. Later. Later. "Yes, well, he's dead so he doesn't get a vote. Keep everybody calm."_

Valkyrie watched the ship break apart from the cockpit of the escape pod she'd gotten on. She'd had the comms lines open between all the pods and she could hear a scream ripple through them all, followed by crying and questions and hundreds of voices all talking at once.

She gripped her hands on the control panel until her knuckles were white and just breathed, until she was sure she wasn't going to cry, or vomit. She'd been here before. At least she didn't have bodies to deal with. Being exploded in space counted as burning, as far as she could tell. They would go to Valhalla. 

The noise settled to stunned silence, and everyone watched Thanos's ship depart. Sometime, later, she'd find a moment to grieve. For now, she was the leader of the last of her people. When she was sure her voice was steady, she reached down and pressed the button to address all the pods. She didn't know what to say, so she said the only thing she could think of. The funeral prayer. "Lo, there do I see my father. Lo there do I see my mother. Lo there do I see my brothers and my sisters. Lo there do I see the line of our people, back to the beginning. We bid you take your place among them in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave shall live forever."

Once, long ago, she'd thought dying gloriously in battle was the bravest thing you could do. But getting on this pod and leaving in the middle of a fight was one of the hardest things Valkyrie had ever done. Surviving was hard. Before she'd had only herself. 

An unfamiliar ship dropped out of light speed on the other side of the debris field. They hailed, and she took a breath to say another prayer before opening the channel. "This is the trading ship _Yog_. We are responding to your distress call."

"We are the survivors of the Asgardian refugee ship," she said. "You can see it was destroyed. I have about 700 people in escape pods with limited supplies."

"Do you have a destination? We can take you aboard, but it'll be crowded."

"We were headed for the Terran system, which I know is very far, but nearly any planet or station would be an improvement over our current situation."

There was a pause, probably while the crew had a discussion. Then he came back, "We can get you to a station halfway there, it's on the way to our next stop. We'll open the bay doors."

Unloading was painstaking, one pod at a time. It was so time consuming and exhausting, and they were all too grateful for something breaking their way, that no one looked at it too closely. 

"Pretty lucky, huh?" Korg said as then jettisoned the last pod.

"Mmm?" she replied, only half paying attention.

"I mean, big trading ship, hold completely empty? Stroke of luck, yeah?"

Frowning, Valkyrie straightened and looked at the bay. As she did, blast doors slammed down on all the openings. She ground her teeth. "For fuck's sake."

"Welcome Asgardians," came a voice over the intercom. "As you might have guessed, we are not a simple trading vessel. Please make yourselves comfortable, we'll be at the Alyan slave market in a few hours. In the mean time, we'll be requiring a woman for our own amusement. Please have one waiting at the lighted exit door in the next five minutes or we will choose one for you."

"Oh, yeah," Korg said. "That's why it's empty."

Valkyrie sighed. "Right." She felt ten-thousand years old right now. Because now she was going to have to deal with this.

Alarm was rippling though the crowd, and she cupped her hands over her mouth to shout. "Everybody calm down. It's going to be all all right. Panic and stampede will not help." It settled into audible crying, which was the best she could do.

She loved her armor, but she had to get out of it so she didn't look like a warrior. She began taking pieces off and handing them to Korg. "Don't lose these."

"It is hot in here, isn't it?" he replied. "Are you going to pick a woman to send or let them pick?"

"I'm going myself," she replied, pulling out a small dagger and tucking it down between her breasts.

"I don't think Thor would like that very much."

Emotional containment cracked, and something leaked out and scalded her like acid. She had to breathe to shove it back down. Later. Later. "Yes, well, he's dead so he doesn't get a vote. Keep everybody calm."

She turned on her heel and strode towards the lighted door.

It opened and two humanoid looking guys were waiting, each with a weapon. They weren't pointing them at her, which she considered a good sign. They looked her up and down, seemed to decide she was acceptable, then waved for her to come with them.

No one put any sort of control device on her, making her wonder if they underestimated how strong Asgardians were. Most likely, because only the men had fought in battle in a millennia, they assumed the women were much, much weaker. 

She was taken to the captain, who narrowed his eyes at her. "You answered the hail. Are you their leader?"

"Not particularly. All our leaders were killed. I was the King's mistress. I suppose they looked to me." The weapons were pointed at her now, and she sighed. "I volunteered to come up here and entertain you because this is what I do for a living. I assumed your men would prefer the services of a professional over a crying peasant who won't last through two of you. I can put up a fight if someone is really into that."

He gave her an assessing look. "I admire a practical woman. Take her into my room."

Valkyrie did her best not to smile as she went. Men were at their weakest when they were thinking with their dicks.

Disarming and disposing of the two guards was child's play. She tucked them out of the way in the captain's quarters and waited on the bed for him, gun hidden in the messy sheets at her side.

She waited a long time. So long it began to make her nervous. When he finally showed up, he got two steps in the door. . . and then disintegrated into dust.

Valkyrie grabbed her gun and went into the hall. She encountered more dust, and panicked crew members—whom she shot. She didn't know what was happening, but by the time she found the ship's deserted bridge, the computer confirmed there was no one else onboard outside the cargo hold. Which now contained only 362 people.

She didn't cry, though she wanted to. She spent the next couple of days in an almost robotic fog. Seeing to everyone who survived. Finding and rationing what provisions they had. Pointing the ship towards Earth. It had light speed engines, and it was a matter of days before they were in orbit of the startlingly blue planet.

Thor and Heimdal had told her there was land in Norway Odin had obtained for them before his death. One afternoon Loki had made a projection of it to show all the Asgardians where they would go. Valkyrie remembered the name of the nearest town, and from there was able to find the large swath with coastal land that had been shown, and take the ship down.

They were still met by armed forces, of course, but it took them so long to get there they were already unloading. Earth weapons couldn't really hurt her people, anyway. "We are Asgardian refugees," she said tiredly to what seemed to be their military commander. "The last of our people."

This announcement caused quite a lot of muttered talking and negotiation. She watched them go back to their vehicles to contact whomever else they needed to.

She was absolutely stunned when, about half an hour after the army showed up, a rainbow slammed into the ground a few yards away, revealing Thor.

Valkyrie stood where she was, staring, unable to move. Behind her, people began cheering. Some of them rushed forward. She could not _move_. She'd crack and crumble otherwise. It was all she could do to breathe.

He made his way through the crowd, smiling and shaking hands. When he reached her, it was like everyone else disappeared. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

It was, for a second, the only thing in the world. The weight on her lifted, just a little, just enough, to let a trickle of happiness and relief in. She could feel tears in her eyes that she didn't even care about. How he could possibly still be alive, she didn't know, but she'd never been so grateful for something in her long life. 

"I can't believe you're here," he whispered against her mouth.

She inhaled a shaky breath, as she she seemed to be actually crying. She could absorb the bad, but it was the good that did her in. "I can't believe you survived."

"It was a near thing. And a long story."

It was only then that she opened her eyes and leaned back enough to notice he had a right eye again. Though it was clearly fake as it didn't match. "I'll bet," she said, reaching up to touch that side of his face, wiping tears off his cheek.

He smiled, leaning into her touch. Then she saw something awful pass behind his eyes. "We lost," he told her, voice rough.

"I know," she whispered. She realized two things. One, that he was as close to cracking as she was, and two, that they had an entire audience. "Right now, let's deal with the small problems at hand." They could find some privacy later.

He nodded and took a deep breath. "I'll talk to the officials. Continue unloading the people. We own this land, so I don't think there will be any problems."

Water hit her face and it took a second to realized it was rain. In fact outside of a small circle around the two of them, it was coming down buckets. He made a consternated face, then bent to pick up the giant axe he'd apparently dropped beside them when he reached her. He thumped the handle against the ground and the rain stopped.

"Sorry," he called out, to some chuckling from the gathered Asgardians. He went over to the Norwegian officials to smooth things over and Valkyrie went back to organizing the disembarking.

The ship itself only had the one real cabin that had belonged to the captain. The rest of the crew had slept in narrow bunks built into the walls. Valkyrie had given the captain's quarters to an Asgardian family with several children and a mother who was very pregnant. The rest of the bunks were doled out by need, and everybody else slept in the floor in the cargo bay. Valkyrie slept, what little she had, in a chair on the bridge.

Earth, like everywhere, had lost half its population. People seemed desperate to do something, anything to help in the face of this kind of disaster, but there wasn't really anything. The little town south of their land had lost half of its population, and once the situation was explained to them, they turned their intense desire to do something good in the direction of the Asgardians.

Valkyrie had expected they'd still be sleeping on the ship, or sleeping in hastily provided tents, but by the time the sun was setting every single Asgardian had a warm bed, a hot shower, and a hearty meal inside someone's home.

She understood a bit of why Thor was so fond of this realm. This was not how most cultures behaved in the face of disaster.

They had ended up with their own house, a smallish one, at Thor's insistence. He hustled her into the shower as soon as she got there and when she came out she was delighted to find proper clothes - in her size - waiting for her and the smell of home cooking coming from downstairs. 

The stairs were so steep it was practically a ladder. The house was warm and cozy, with most of one wall consumed by a big stone fireplace—that was brightly burning. She'd assumed at first the house belonged to people who had been dusted, and felt a bit uncomfortable about that, but there were absolutely no personal effects anywhere in the house. The toiletries upstairs had been in tiny sealed bottles.

She found Thor in the kitchen, taking what looked like a roast out of the oven. He smiled when he saw her. "Oh, good. You're still real."

Valkyrie honestly had had no idea that he could cook. "Did you think you'd imagined me?"

"I have a moment or two I thought I might have been dreaming."

She came close enough to touch him. "I'm here."

He slid an arm around her, resting his cheek against her hair for a moment. "Thank you. For bringing them home."

"Thank you for not dying." She leaned over the pan, her stomach rumbling. She hadn't had fresh meat in so, so long. "That smells amazing."

"Have a seat, I'll bring it over. There's gravy and potatoes, too."

She kissed his cheek, and went to the table to wait for her dinner. Or whatever meal it currently was. She'd been in space this morning. He served her a big plate piled with meat, mashed potatoes and gravy. Next to it he placed a brown bottle that proved to be some sort of Midgardian ale.

He plopped down in the chair across from her, with a similarly piled plate. She sighed happily and dug in. Under the table she hooked her foot around his ankle, just for the contact. He smiled and lifted his drink as if in toast.

"There's a lot of planning to do," he said once she'd had a chance to get some food in her.

"I can only imagine," she said. "I think I need a good night's sleep before I tackle that."

"I know, I agree." He piled his fork up. "At least we won't have to do it alone."

"Yeah," she said, closing her eyes and feeling herself deflate a little. She'd been so alone out there.

He reached over and touched her hand. He didn't say anything, maybe because there was nothing to say, but the touch was nice. The food was delicious and so was the ale. Midgard ale was so weak it was barely alcoholic, but she still found something comforting in the taste. "Thank you," she said. "This is really, really good."

"My culinary skills are limited, but growing. I make an even better breakfast."

She felt a sudden lump in her throat that she couldn't seem to swallow, and her voice had a hitch to it. "I really missed you."

He squeezed her hand. "I missed you," he replied. "Every day."

"I think it's only actually been a few days," she said, rubbing her eyes. "But it feels like months."

"A lot happened in those few days. The world ended." He tugged her hand. "You look like you could use some sleep."

She left him pull her to her feet. "Probably." She reached out to hug him, because right now she wanted that more. He put his arm around her waist, holding her tight against him.

"You want me to carry you?" he rumbled.

"Those are not two person stairs," she replied.

"Walk directly behind you and admire your ass?"

Her arms tightened briefly, wondering how after all this he could still make her laugh. "Sounds like a plan."

He let her go long enough to take their plates to the sink to soak and put the left over meat in the fridge. Then he gestured for her to proceed him upstairs. It was an a-frame house, good for heavy snow, with the bedroom and bathroom taking up the whole second floor, tucked under the rafters. She stopped at the foot of the heavy wood bed. "I really want to know how they got this up here."

"Maybe they built it up here," he suggested.

He was standing behind her now, steady and solid, and she leaned back against him. "Are you tired?"

"Mmm, no." His hands spread on her stomach. "I thought you were."

She closed her eyes. "Sometimes there are things more important than sleep."

He kissed the back of her neck gently. "If you're sure."

"That I want you? I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

HIs chuckle rumbled against her skin. Slowly, he slipped his hands under the shirt she was wearing, tugging it up and off before sliding his hands along her skin. There was something very arousing about watching him touch her. He was so careful about it—one big hand cupping her breast, stroking her skin with his thumb—as if he didn't already have her memorized. Something she'd thought she'd never feel again.

He kissed her throat, then bent to trail a line of kisses down her breast, lapping at her nipple. One big hand spread over the small of her back, helping support her and hold her against him. It reminded her of how he'd held her their first night together, though she'd been so drunk her memories were blurry. 

He lifted her like she weighted nothing, taking her back to the bed and easing her down onto the absurdly fluffy bed covering. She'd had mattresses less pillowy than this blanket. She pulled him to her by his shirt, because she didn't want to let him go.

He kissed her deeply, pressing her down into the quilt with his weight. "Beautiful," he murmured, stroking his hands down her sides. She pulled his shirt up, wanting his skin against hers. 

Once it was off, she pulled his mouth back to hers. They kissed until she felt the sparks where he touched her. "There it is," she whispered.

Thor grinned. "You miss that, too?"

She got the sense that smile was rusty. There was still something dark and sad behind his eyes, and she wished she could take it away. "I missed everything about you." 

The smile softened and he nodded a little before kissing her again, then slowly working his way down her body. She lifted her hips up when he tugged down the leggings she was wearing. She pushed up on her elbows to watch him kiss his way up her thigh from her knee. Watch him stroke her and sink his fingers inside her. "I suddenly feel like if I close my eyes, you'll suddenly be gone again."

"I'm here," he assured her, stroking her slowly a moment before bringing his mouth down to her sex. She raked her fingers into his hair, holding on harder than she probably should, but she just. . .had to.

She let herself get lost in it, in how good it felt, until it was almost more than she could take. "Please, please, come up here."

He groaned, as if he didn't want to be drug away from his current task. But after a few more licks he let her pull him up her body, kissing her again. She could taste herself on his tongue. For a moment she felt cocooned and private and safe. Like this was the entire world, just the two of them and what they were to each other. She thought about telling him she loved him again, even though she'd only managed to say it before because she was certain one or both of them were about to die.

Lust was a far less frightening and messy emotion, and her body ached with it. She reached down, finding his pants had some sort of bizarre Midgardian buckle the that she absolutely could not get open. He tried to help and that seemingly only made it worse. She made a noise of frustration and shoved at him until he rolled over onto his back so she could see the damn thing better.

"For the record, I would not have stopped you had I known you were wearing a chastity belt."

He was laughing almost too hard to talk now. "All the armor you've undone and a _belt buckle_ ends you."

Huffing out a breath, she climbed off him and reached for the pile of clothes on the floor to fish out the dagger. His eyes widened when she returned holding it between her teeth. She dropped it into her hand and cut the leather of the belt.

"I admire your ingenuity," he told her, voice husky.

After that, getting his pants off was downright simple. And then he was entirely, delightfully naked, cock thrusting proudly. Unable to resist, she leaned down to kiss just the tip, and he managed to get a fistful of her hair and yank. She took the hint, and went up on her knees to swing one leg over. She met his eyes as she sank back down. Used to him now, he fit inside her perfectly.

His sigh seemed to come from deep in his soul. He framed her hips with his hands but didn't tug, letting her set the pace as she started to ride him. The push and pull and rise and fall as they moved easily wound her all the way back up. He watched her, hands sliding up her body to touch anywhere he could reach. Sparks jumped between his fingers, and she watched them spread, up his arms and over her skin. It felt good, like the lightest ghost of a touch fluttering over her skin.

He seemed to notice as well, flexing his fingers to make them dance more. The collected in spots, grazing her clit and circling her nipples, heightening her arousal. It was hard to focus, hard to keep the rhythm, hard do anything other than feel. Heat, pressure, friction, electricity. She felt it everywhere, even on the inside. 

Something sharp and hot crashed through her, just like the lightning, kicking the orgasm off and making it so intense she couldn't move or make a sound. She couldn't even _breathe_.

She was pretty certain he followed her quickly after that, based on how he bucked and shuddered underneath her. He caught her when she slumped, holding her tenderly against his chest.

Suddenly she couldn't help the tears flowing out of her eyes. Good tears, bad tears, relief, fear, love, emotional exhaustion, she had no idea. They were happening whether she wanted them or not.

Thor rubbed her back, holding her tightly. "I know," he whispered, his voice choked up, too. "It's okay."

"I just. . ." she trailed off, because she didn't even know what to say.

"There's a lot to process." 

She nodded, reaching up to wipe her eyes. "Sleep might help."

"Many things look better after a good night's sleep." He could find something positive in just about anything, and it made her feel steadier again.

At the moment she was so drained she didn't think she could move, but she didn't really have to. He moved them around and somehow managed to get them under the sheets and fluffy quilt. 

Thor did a quick check downstairs to bank the fire and lock the door before joining her. He tugged her tight against him and she settled her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while he played with her hair.

He was here and he was safe and he was hers. "Thank you for taking care of me tonight," she whispered.

"I love taking care of you," he assured her. She sighed contentedly, and it was the last thing she heard before she drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the one that was edited, so this got posted today. Side note: the beginning of this story has a lot of smut. . . but this is it for a long while. Now the messy stuff starts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He passed out on the couch halfway through the second vodka bottle. It was the first night since Ragnarok they voluntarily slept apart._

Thor hadn't slept all that well since the battle in Wakanda. Stress and grief keeping him awake and nightmares what little he did sleep. But exhaustion caught everyone eventually, and sex and a woman sleeping on your shoulder were powerful sleep aids.

Didn't help any with the nightmares, though.

Perhaps if they'd been the same he could have eventually adapted to them. But it was always different. Sometimes he was in Wakanda, burying his axe in Thanos's chest and watching people turn to ash around him. Sometimes he was in Nidavellir's forge feeling the force of a star burn through him, certain he couldn't hold on long enough. Other times he was back on the _Statesman_ , listening to people scream.

That was the one he had that night, waking up with a jolt just as the sky was lightening with dawn.

Valkyrie slept beside him still and he eased out of bed, careful not to wake her as he headed downstairs looking for a bottle of ale.

She came downstairs a little while later. He'd gotten the fire going, for warmth and because it was mesmerizing to stare at. "That's probably not strong enough to chase nightmares," she commented.

"No," he admitted. "But I like the taste and it's easy on the stomach."

She sat on the other side of the couch, and stretched out one leg to rest her foot against his thigh. It was an experimental touch, like she wasn't sure how much space he wanted. "Some guy told me once that talking about it helps."

He really didn't want to talk about it, but he supposed she deserved it. He put a hand on her leg, rubbing her calf muscle lightly with his thumb. The contact helped. "I should have taken his head off."

"Thanos?"

"I buried my axe in his chest. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted to watch him die. And because of that. Because of _me_. He won."

"Oh," she said quietly. She didn't say anything else, and he couldn't look at her because he didn't want to see what was on her face. Then she crawled across the couch and right into his lap, wrapping her arms around him.

Surprised, and more relieved than he'd care to admit, he put his arms around her and buried his face in her hair, taking a deep breath of her scent. She managed to rock him a little, and he added that to the list of things Valkyrie did that no one had since his mother. "Nobody is perfect," she said. "Not even you. And you're not responsible for a madman."

"I could have stopped him and I didn't."

"Maybe. But it's not like you aimed for his knees. There's no reason to expect someone would survive an axe to the chest." She ran her fingers gently through his hair. "Decapitation is too quick a death for someone like that. I'd have done the same." 

He sighed and nodded, though he didn't really believe her. The others had tried to reassure him, in their way, of the same thing. That failure had belonged to all of them, despite how hard they'd tried. But the fact remained he'd come the closest to defeating the Titan and he'd squandered it.

"It's going to take time," she said quietly. "It's gonna hurt a long while, and I can't do anything to make it better, much as I wish I could. Other than be here, for whatever that's worth."

He nodded again, squeezing her tightly. "Thank you."

"We'll build New Asgard. Get everyone settled. Put some good back into the world."

"It will be good to have something to do. An occupation to focus on."

She leaned back to look at him, rubbing her hand against his beard and turning his face up so he'd meet her eyes. "We'll figure it out together, okay? What our life looks like now."

"Okay," he said softly. They were strong. They'd been through a lot, separately. With her at his side surely he'd find his confidence again. She bent her head to kiss him, and he thought how he'd been afraid if he leaned on her too much, she'd bolt. Now he didn't have the strength to do otherwise, and she was just about taking his entire weight. And she was still here.

"I love you," he told her, mouth brushing hers.

"I love you," she replied, resting her forehead on his. "Still."

He smiled a little. "That was some interesting timing on your part."

"I thought you were heading to your death. It was then or never."

"I suppose if those are my options I prefer it to never."

"I think I felt it for a while," she said quietly. "I just thought we had time."

"I know." He rubbed her back, cuddling her against his chest. "Maybe now we can have the time."

For a few weeks there, it seemed like they did. Everyone got some rest, and he and Valkyrie holed up in their little house, trying to plan out the village they would build on their land. 

Then Steve called him, and told him about an incredibly powerful woman who'd arrived from somewhere in space, and a chance at changing fate.

"You sure you don't want me to come help you?" Valkyrie asked. 

"I'm sure," he told her, strapping his armor on. "You need to stay here with the people in case anything goes wrong. And I'm hoping I'll be back in a few hours with good news."

"I'll find something manly to cook you," she told him, stretching up to kiss his cheek. "Go. Don't die."

"I'll do my best," he assured her. Then he stepped back and called the bifrost to take him to New York.

There was perhaps nothing quite as terrible as hope. They found Thanos, only to find he had destroyed the stones—and with them their only chance at making things right. He was about to launch into some kind of pontificating about something, and Thor didn't want to listen to it. So he took his head clean off. It didn't help anything.

Thor didn't need to fly home in the ship like the rest of them, and didn't even wait to say goodbye to the others before returning to Norway and finding something to drink.

Their town had a bar. He probably should go home—Valkyrie would have seen the bifrost—but all they had at home was ale and she'd been right about how strong it wasn't. Unless he wanted to drink it by the keg. But the bar would have the kind of booze that might actually work on him.

People left him alone at the table he'd chosen, probably because he had a big axe covered in purple blood propped against it. 

Norwegian vodka was pretty damn good.

He was well on his way to being soused and not giving a shit when she finally showed up in the bar. She didn't look angry, but she was absolutely soaking wet.

"Your bad mood has a storm surge," she said from the edge of the table. "There's minor flooding.

"Not sure I have the mental energy to fix that right now," he muttered.

She slid into the booth with him and asked, "What happened?"

"We killed Thanos," he told her, knocking back another drink. "And still lost."

He could hear her sigh, and then she reached and poured herself a drink, too. "You cut his head off?"

"I did. After he confirmed he'd destroyed the stones. There's no way to fix things. To bring everyone back."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. She rubbed his leg under the table. "Come on, let's go home."

"Let me get another bottle."

"I'll get it," she said. "I'm not denying you your bender, I just want you home when you pass out, you know?"

Considering neither of them probably wanted to deal with the indignity of her carrying him home, he agreed, leaning on Stormbreaker to get to his feet. She returned with two bottles, because clearly she really did love him.

She tucked herself against his side as they walked back, and slowly the rain lessened.

Their house was as warm and cozy as he remembered, with a fire blazing in the hearth. She let him plop down on the couch and handed him a bottle before going to the other room to change out of her wet clothes. Thor took the top off the bottle and took a slug.

She hadn't gone upstairs, so she must have changed in the laundry room, which explained why she came out wearing a t-shirt so large on her it had to be his. "Your clothes are wet, too, you know," she said, standing over him. Usually when he caused weather he didn't rain on himself, but his subconscious probably he felt like he deserved it.

He glanced down at his wet armor. "Hadn't noticed."

"Right," she said. He wasn't getting up, but when she kneeled on the couch, he let her push him to sit up enough to take it off.

Once she got it off, he felt silly sitting there mostly naked, so he took his own trip to the laundry room to find a shirt and gym pants. It was as far from his armor as he could get, which was what he wanted right then.

Valkyrie was sitting on the other end of the couch, watching him. "Well. . .okay."

He realized only then that her undressing him usually ended in something a lot more fun than gym clothes. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, sitting down. "Sorry. I'm not at my best right now."

"I know," she said. "You want me to leave you alone?"

"No. I don't know." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't know what to do."

"Drink, fuck, wallow for a while and then got on with living the life we have. That's all you _can_ do."

He nodded. "I think tonight I'm going to reserve for drinking." After a moment he added, "I don't think I'll be very good company."

"All right," she replied. "I'm going to bed, then." She leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Don't make yourself sick."

"I'll try. Sleep well."

He passed out on the couch halfway through the second vodka bottle. It was the first night since Ragnarok they voluntarily slept apart.

*

Valkyrie let his pity party go on for a few days. But she knew full well just how entrenched something like that could get after a certain time. So she cleared all the bottles out while he was asleep, and put on some very strong coffee.

"All right, Your Majesty, time to sober up and have a shower. The actual King of Norway wants to meet you."

"Why?" he grumbled, even as he slowly staggered to his feet and scowled in the general direction of the bathroom.

"Because you've set up camp in his country." She shoved him towards the stairs. "Go up and shower. Clothes are on the bed. Are you hungry?"

He paused and considered. "Yes. I think so."

"Then breakfast will be waiting." She nudged him again and then went back to the kitchen. He'd been doing their cooking and she was nowhere near as good, but she could operate a microwave and a toaster. Mostly.

She listened until she heard the water running in the shower, then set about making frozen waffles and microwave bacon.

By the time he stomped downstairs - in real clothes, praise the ancestors - she had a plate for him and a steaming cup of coffee.

He took the coffee and actually managed a halfway normal smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said. "I thought we could stay overnight in Oslo," she said. "Then when we get back, there are some trees that need clearing up at the village site, if you felt like swinging the axe around." She knew him well enough to know productive physical activity would do him good.

"Might as well put it to good use," he said, sitting at the table to dig into his food.

Thor seemed reasonably normal by the time she got him into the car, and she began to relax a little. Though on the drive he stared broodingly out the window for most of it. Sympathy was beginning to wear. Patience really was not one of Valkyrie's top skills. Neither was diplomacy. "I got a single hotel room," she said. "If that's going to be a problem, let me know."

He looked surprised when he turned to look at her. "I - of course it's not a problem."

"You seem to have moved onto the couch. I didn't know if there was a hint I was supposed to be taking."

"That has nothing to do with you," he told her.

"Well, now I know. Seemed worth checking."

He nodded and there was silence for a few moments. "I know I've been shitty lately."

"I've been there," she said. "I'm trying to be understanding. But you clearly want neither company nor help and I'm kind of at a loss."

"I don't deal with these kind of emotions well." That had to be the understatement of the millennia. "I'll try to dig out of it. Maybe having something to do will help."

"I was happy in my drunk fog. You yanked me out and made me have to figure out how to feel things again. A lot of it I'm still figuring out. It's still raw. And I. . ." She sighed, not wanting to admit what she was admitting. "I still need you. I can't do this alone."

Guilt flickered across his features. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

She rubbed his knee. "I know."

"I'll find my feet again someday."

He managed to be charming and personable for their reception with the King, though most of the discussion about the details of New Asgard came from Valkyrie, because his good mood was powered by the open bar. Still, of the options she'd take happy social drunk over sloppy hermit drunk any day of the week.

When they left they had approved plans for the town, and the King very much on their side. Thor was still in a decent mood when they got to the hotel, which she hoped was a good sign.

"That went really well," she said as they went up in the elevator. She looked over at him. "Midgard formalwear is growing on me."

He gave her a familiar smile. "Oh? You might change your mind when you try to peel it off."

She smiled back, feeling a very strange combination of desire and relief. "I'm not above cutting it off if I need to."

"You'll have to buy me a new one."

Reaching out, she pulled him towards her by the lapels. "We have an accord."

Grinning, he dipped his head and kissed her. 

She did not need any weaponry to get him out of that tuxedo. 

They sprawled out on the bed afterwards, drifting and holding on to each other. He had his head resting on her stomach and she stroked his hair, thinking this was the first time something had felt good and normal since he'd gone off to chase Thanos. "It's going to be okay," she said softly. "I promise."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm not here to tell you things. Just to help you untangle and unearth what you already know."_

_Five years later_

Nothing was okay. Nothing had been okay for a long time. But they were on Thor's doorstep anyway, trying to fix the unfixable.

Banner had tried to appeal to his better angels. To the hero he wasn't anymore. It was easier, safer, just to stay here in the little bubble he'd made. Where he wasn't required to do or be anything of consequence. It was simple then, to say no. 

But it tugged at him. Ghosts of the man he'd been for many centuries. He could almost hear Stormbreaker humming. Begging to be called. To _do_ something. 

"There's beer on the ship."

Thor looked over at Rocket. Rocket wasn't asking him to come be a hero. Just to come drink beer. He could do that. "What kind?"

Rocket stared him down. "Fancy American craft beers. Shit you can't get here."

There might not even be beer on the jet. But that wasn't what the raccoon was offering. He was offering a face-saving opening. Try, without committing to possible failure. Come for a beer, maybe save the world. Rocket knew a thing or two about protecting your pride. "All right, fine. Why not?" He held out his hand, and Stormbreaker exploded from the closet in the back. Korg had to duck so as not to get hit.

Valkyrie was hauling in fishing nets when they went past. She stopped and turned to watch, surprise and half a smile on her face. He wasn't sure he could remember the last time she'd smiled at him.

"Your majesty," she called when they started to climb in the car. Also the first time she'd called him that in years—and the last few times back then had been laced with sarcasm or venom. He turned around to look at her, and now she had a full smile. "Don't die."

He inclined his head. "I'll do my best," he replied, meaning more than just his continued survival. 

When he arrived at the compound—which was it's own mess of bad memories—he got cornered by a psychologist they apparently had on staff. "You are in no shape to be traveling through time," Dr. Yee told him after the other doctor, a tall woman with a hell of a battle scar, had ordered him out of the hangar where they were building the machine. Thor could hear her lecturing Banner as he went down the hall.

A lot of people told him what crappy shape he was in. Banner was patronizingly gentle, Rocket was openly irritated, Valkyrie had been every emotion under the sun but had settled for the last two years on resigned. Dr. Yee just said it like a fact. No judgement, just a statement.

"I'm really fine," he said, because he'd been saying it for years and he wasn't going to stop now.

"I'm sure you're managing," she said, evenly. "But are you really happy with how you are? Right now? Would you consider yourself functional?"

He opened his mouth to assure her he was. But she was looking at him, with no judgment or ire, just calm patience. And he found himself saying, "No."

So while the rest of them built the time machine, he ended up telling this woman his entire life story, because she wanted the whole picture. Banishment. Loki. Jane. The Battle of New York and the Dark Elves. His _mother_. The awful wind up to Ragnarok and everything he'd learned about his father. The end of Asgard. The refugee ship and Valkyrie. Thanos killing Heimdal and Loki and making him watch. Nidavellir and Stormbreaker and the single worst mistake of his life. Thinking he'd lost absolutely everything, and fate giving him a little bit back. 

"And you didn't think you deserved that?" Dr. Yee asked.

"I don't. . . no, I don't think I did. Given what I'd done, I don't deserve to have any of my people with me. Which is selfish, because my faults shouldn't affect their lives." He hadn't deserved Valkyrie, either, to love and be loved like that—but he'd managed to poison that just fine on his own.

"You hold yourself to exceedingly high standards. You are very forgiving of others—more than most people would be—but not at all of yourself."

"I'm Prince of Asgard. Now King. The only one of my family left. I _have_ to be better or what's the point of my still being here?"

"That's something we'll work on figuring out."

Dr. Yee and Dr. Newbury both insisted that, regardless of his mental state, that he needed to be sober to go on the Time Heist. Apparently humans, when they stopped drinking, got extremely sick. Somehow concerns about this had caused them to bring Valkyrie over from Norway. She did at least stay across the lake with the Starks rather than at the main building with the rest of them.

Something he realized, as he sobered up, was that she didn't seem angry at him anymore. 

They ended up having a couple joint sessions with Lani, so Valkyrie could add an objective outlook on his behavior. She was honest, but not brutally so. It was clear she wanted him to get better. But it was also clear she didn't want to be with whoever he was going to be on the other side.

They were okay. Mostly they were okay. They didn't touch any of their landmines. He offered to walk her home and she rattled off a bunch of updates about what was going on in New Asgard. Not just in the last month, but over the stretch of time he'd been particularly checked out lately. It was really nice, and familiar, and reminded him how much he missed her company.

"I'd invite you stay for dinner," she said, "But I have evening plans."

It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "Of course you do."

She stopped halfway up the porch steps, and turned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I just see your habit of bedding strangers hasn't changed." She liked sex and treated it like a bodily function. When their relationship disintegrated, she'd sought it elsewhere. Sleeping with strangers didn't sit well with him in any case, but particularly when it was a woman he couldn't even pretend he didn't still have feelings for. It hadn't been his business for a long time, but without the alcohol to down it out it somehow felt raw again.

Like all of the fights they'd ever had—and in the last months of their relationship, there had been plenty—she had a knack for saying just the wrong thing. He deserved to be told it wasn't his business, because it wasn't. Instead she replied, "Would you prefer I fuck one of your friends instead?"

And then they were arguing for real, a re-hashing of a fight they'd had more than once. The lighting that hit the roof of the Starks' house really was entirely accidental. 

"For the record," she said as they stood in the rain he called to put out the fire, "I didn't trade sex for a ship. I volunteered so they wouldn't take someone, with the intention of killing them and stealing their ship. Which I did."

He turned and stared at her. Korg had told him that, and in all these years, she'd never corrected it. She'd been angry at Thor for even asking about, and he'd taken her defensive response as confirmation.

"Why are you telling me this _now_?" he asked.

She gestured at the roof. "Clearly we still have some air to clear."

Clearly. He blew out a breath and watched the last of the fire smolder out. "You could have mentioned it before," he grumbled, though if he was honest, he wasn't sure how much of it it would have changed. They'd been pretty well done by that time, and they'd both been looking for a fight.

Her face said she was thinking the exact same thing. Before she could reply, Stark landed next to them in the Iron Man suit. "Would someone like to explain?"

"I'm sorry," Thor said. "It was an accident."

Valkyrie turned towards him. "You don't get this shit under control, you're going to kill somebody."

She had always seemed under the mistaken impression that anything he was upset about, particularly if drunk, would call the lightning if he wasn't careful. But the only times he couldn't entirely control it, it was always her. Elemental, Heimdal had called it.

Tired, hurting, self-pity seemed the easiest to reach. "Well, I've already killed more people than anyone can count, right?"

It was probably good Tony was there to separate them, before the fighting spun up again. 

He had to explain the whole thing to Dr. Yee the next day. She made a disappointed face at him.

"I know it was probably an overreaction," he said, looking down at his hands. "But it felt very deliberate on her part. And dug up an old wound."

"What part specifically do you think was deliberate?"

"Her finding someone to sleep with while she's here."

Dr. Yee leaned back in her chair. "How long has your relationship been over?"

"Officially? Four years." Which, obviously, meant he had absolutely no say in who she was or was not sleeping with. "It just feels like. . . she couldn't have waited a week?"

"You don't strike me as a particularly jealous or territorial man. I don't think this is really about what she is doing now. What's the old wound?"

Sometimes, this woman was far too perceptive. "For a very long time, I thought that she had traded sex to acquire a ship. Immediately after thinking I'd died. Today she told me it wasn't true, after years of refusing to discuss it."

"Were you truly angry at her? Or did you feel guilty?"

"Can it be both?"

"I guessing you know she'd have been desperate and stranded in space with hundreds of people in escape pods. Would sex she traded for their safety really have been voluntary? Is that something you took in as another thing you thought was your fault?"

He picked at a hangnail on his finger. It had been couple of days after the enormous fight that followed for him to be sober enough to recall her telling him once the ship had belonged to slavers, and what it probably _meant_ that she'd done that. It was easier to pretend to be angry than to really contemplate what his decision to chase vengeance rather than the remains of his people might have cost her. "I wondered if she didn't want to speak of it because it had been traumatic."

"Much like you don't like talking about traumatic things?"

"Prior to our sessions, I didn't see the point."

"And look at how that turned out." He made a face at her, and she added, "You're doing good. It's a marathon, not a sprint."

"The first time I learned about it, our relationship was already dying—for all the reasons we've discussed at length—and it spawned a loud airing of grievances that was pretty explicitly the death blow. The last thing I told her was to find somewhere else to sleep. So she did, in some woman's bed in town. I didn't handle it well. Our relationship was, well, cremated." Like this afternoon, he'd accidentally called the lightning, and it had burned their house to the ground.

"I appreciate you carrying that metaphor through," she said. "But I believe we've now reached the core of what you're upset about."

"Seems really obvious when I lay it all out."

"I'm not here to tell you things. Just to help you untangle and unearth what you already know."

This topic gave them plenty to talk about. It was nice, actually, to not be talking about Thanos, or drinking, or his family. Even if it was just as painful. 

"I don't know if I should apologize to Valkyrie. If I should. I think she's long since gotten over me."

"Do you think it would give you closure?"

He sighed deeply. "I don't know. Part of me thinks I owe it to her."

"You give enough apologies, and eventually they just become words."

"I know. I think she already feels that way."

"Perhaps you should wait until you don't still want something else from her."

He really wasn't sure that would ever be true.

The time machine was finished before he had time to make up his mind. 

They sent him to Asgard in 2013, to retrieve the Aether from Jane. It was not a great idea on a lot of levels and he regretted signing up for this entire mess in the first place. . . and then he ran into his mother.

He wasn't supposed to interact with anyone. They'd been very clear on this. But he couldn't help sneaking a couple extra glances of her. And then she caught him, the way she always had.

She could tell he was from the future, because of course she could, and the next thing he knew she'd sat him down and he told her the story of Thanos. She responded a lot like Dr. Yee. She wanted him to give himself permission to make mistakes just like everyone else in the universe.

It helped. A little. Gave him some clarity. And he got to hug her and tell her he loved her one more time, which was probably a dose of that closure that Yee was always talking about. Still, when he called for Mjolnir he half expected him not to come.

Seems he was still worthy after all.

He stared at Mjolnir in his hand, remembering a conversation he and Valkyrie used to have about if they could have anything back from Asgard, what would it be. He always said the hammer. He didn't need it, but he missed it anyway. And she had, for whatever reason, really, really wanted her flying horse.

"Before I go," he said to his mother, "I have a crazy thing I need help with."

Crazy indeed it was, but when he showed up on the time machine platform with it, Valkyrie was so delighted she threw her arms around his neck. He hadn't held her in so, so long.

"Her name is Moonstone," he told her, handing the reins over.

She was laughing. "Thank you." She looked happy, and it made him happy. All of this might be worth it just for that.

It didn't last long. "Clint?" Dr. Yee asked. "Where's Nat?"

Afterwards came grief and anger and all of them yelling at each other. Natasha and Clint had specifically gone to Vormir because of an old Asgardian legend about how to get the soul stone Valkyrie had told them. It had been, very obviously, wrong. Thor wasn't surprised she took off without another word. She handled negative emotions even worse than he did.

In the end, there was nothing left to do by try to complete the plan. For Natasha, if nothing else. She'd believe in it enough to die for it, they needed to see it through.

That they wouldn't let him wear the glove was another disappointment to add to the list.

He hadn't really internalized what undoing the snap would mean. In his mind it seemed like they would all be going back in time, not literally rolling back time as if it never happened. 

But roll back they did, and other the other side of the blinding flash of light, Thor was in a different body.

It was good, really, because not five minutes later he was facing off against Thanos again and he wouldn't have wanted to do it with his extra hundred pounds and years of couch sitting. It was another bit of closure, really. The chance to attack him again. To give it his all this time and not care about revenge or watching. Thanos would not leave this battlefield alive. They were all in agreement. And they would all die to see it done.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _As much as Thor wanted to cut off his head—again—there was something poetic about him being defeated by his own gauntlet and having to watch his armies turn to dust._

_New Asgard, Norway_

"What do you mean it just appeared?"

"I mean one minute it was an empty sheep pasture, the next minute it was just there. . ." The young man gestured emphatically with his hands. Valkyrie had discovered Harald was a little prone to melodrama, but there was no denying that there was now a white winged horse in the field.

She sighed, putting a boot on the bottom fence rail and pulling herself up to lean over it. "Loki! Knock it off!" He was experimenting with different forms to hide who he was—apparently he was some manner of fugitive on Midgard—but this was ridiculous.

"He left yesterday," Harald said. "While you and the King were in Oslo."

Valkyrie pinched the bridge of her nose. There was a headache coming. "Where did he go?"

"I don't know. All he said was he had to see about a girl."

She dropped her hand and stared at him. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Harald took a step back and held up his hands. "I'm just the messenger, ma'am."

Valkyrie looked in askance at the pegasus again. "Can you go find Heimdal, please?"

"With pleasure," he said, scurrying off.

A few minutes later Heimdal strolled up to the pen - alone - looking slightly amused. "The pegasus disturbs you?"

"Where did it come from and why is it here?"

He tilted his head. "Someone has been meddling in time," he told her. "Several someone's, in fact." His eyes got that far away look. "There'll be explanations later. You should go get your armor."

"My armor? Why?"

"We're needed at a fight."

If Heimdal said it, it must be true. "Where's Loki?"

"On Alfheim, with his queen."

She frowned. "His what now?"

Before Heimdal could answer, a gold portal opened beside them. A man stepped out and looked at them. "I'm looking for Valkyrie."

She slid a glance at Heimdal. "Let me guess, there's a fight."

He nodded. "Thanos is back, and he's brought all of his armies. We need you and yours."

"I don't have much of one," she replied. "But I'll get who I can." To a certain degree, an Asgardian grandmother swinging a broom packed more punch than some Midgardian artillery. She looked at Heimdal. "Get everybody you think can fight." She hesitated, then looked back at Portal Man. "Can you go to other planets, and if so, do you know where Alfheim is?"

He blinked. "It's one of the Bifrost realms, yes? I can get to it."

"Let me get my armor, and then I need you to take me there." Loki still had the Casket of Ancient Winters, as far as she knew. She jogged back towards the domed tent she and Thor were sharing. Local officials had set them up with a ton of emergency shelters while they got their building underway. She crossed paths is Heimdal on her way back. "Hey. . . is she a war horse?"

"She is," he said. "If you're going to Alfheim, talk to the queen. They have an army of their own."

Valkyrie couldn't imagine a Queen would give her army to a strange woman who appeared out of a portal, but maybe Loki was really good in bed or something and could help. She'd call that a stretch goal. Right now she wanted a wayward prince and his fancy weapon.

She went back to the Portal Guy and he obligingly opened a portal for her. It dumped her out into a garden that smelled of grass and mint and unfamiliar flowers. A few feet away, Loki lounged under a tree with a beautiful woman in a long blue gown.

"Hi," she called. "Sorry to interrupt. Thanos is back, I need you to get your ass back to Midgard."

Loki sat upright. "How in the realms-" He stopped and his mouth thinned. "Thanos?" He looked at his woman. "I have to go."

She was getting to her feet. "I'm coming with you."

Valkyrie looked at the fancy hair and the even fancier dress with yards of silk in every direction. "I don't really think that's-"

She didn't get to finish before the woman gave a gesture and a blaze of gold magic turned the dress into sleek leather and scale armor. She was also holding an intricately carved wooden staff.

Loki looked displeased. "Dear heart, I really don't want you to get hurt."

"That's nice, darling, but I don't recall asking your permission." She looked at Valkyrie. "How much time do we have? I can rally my guard in a few minutes."

Valkyrie turned back towards Portal Man. She really should ask him his name. "Trust me, it'll be worth it." Alfans weren't as strong as Asgardians, but they were plenty stronger than humans, and as a race had a whole hell of a lot of magic. She turned back to the queen. "Brunnhilde of Asgard. Most people call me Valkyrie."

"Syn the Truthful, Queen of Alfheim. Pleasure. I'll be right back with everyone I can gather." She turned and poked Loki in the chest. "Do _not_ leave without me." Then she gave another gesture and was gone.

*

It was a brutal fight that they very nearly lost. About the only solace Thor had was that he would not survive to have to live with another failure.

And then portals began opening in the sky, and along the ground. People came out of them. Entire armies. Wakandans, Sorcerers, a large group of heavily armed aliens he couldn't begin to identify. . . and a group in very familiar armor, led by a woman on a white winged horse.

That Valkyrie had brought whatever Asgardians she could arm did not surprise him. What did surprise him was the large, organized, uniformed army behind them. Where had Valkyrie gotten an army?

There was no time to ask questions. Hopefully, there would be afterwards. He stood beside Steve and Tony, with their armies of allies filling ranks behind them. And then they charged. With the odds turned, it was a very different fight, one he finally thought they had a chance of winning.

As much as Thor wanted to cut off his head—again—there was something poetic about him being defeated by his own gauntlet and having to watch his armies turn to dust.

There was also something poetic about the long line of them locking arms to help absorb the energy from stones the Tony wouldn't have been able to bear alone.

The whole Asgardian and. . . other people armies grabbed on, diffusing the power enough it could barely be felt.

Carol gathered up a few of the more powerful people to make a shorter chain with Dr. Newbury cut off Tony's burned and warped hand. Then it was time to figure out how to pull the stones out of the gauntlet. 

Prying them out with the sharpest corner point of Stormbreaker turned out to be the thing that worked. Once out Carol could pick them up, and someone went back through a portal in search of some sort of sufficient containment.

"And now I understand how time was so severely tampered with." The voice behind him was very familiar, and one he'd thought he'd never hear again. He turned and there was Heimdal, leaning on the bifrost sworn like it was a walking stick.

He couldn't help himself, Thor stepped over and threw his arms around him in an embrace. "It's good to see you, old friend."

"When this is over, you must explain to me what, precisely, happened." When they parted, he added. "Your brother is in disguise, but here's around here somewhere."

And that explained the odd chills of ice he'd felt here and there. "Who were the armed soldiers with you? They weren't Asgardians."

"That would be the Alfan army. You can thank Loki for that, he's been having a clandestine affair with the Queen of Alfheim for quite some time now."

"Your Majesty."

Thor turned to find a woman in dark blue armor carrying a staff. Next to her was a tall lanky man with reddish blonde hair and sharp cheekbones. He looked like Loki if Loki had been his blood relation.

Embarrassed at the tears prickling his eyes, he lurched forward and wrapped his brother in a bear hug.

"For heaven's sake," Loki muttered, patting his back. None of them remembered the last five years—maybe Heimdal might—and likely found his reaction baffling.

"You look far less sinister as a ginger," Valkyrie said from where she'd walked up beside him. She looked exactly the same as when he'd last seen her. But the thing that threw him was the hand she put on his arm. He'd cleared the armor plating off his arms when the battle ended because he was hot, and she slid her hand up over his bare bicep. Her fingers tucked a little under the shoulder piece and she rubbed his skin. It was just a greeting. But it was the casual, possessive way you touched someone you were intimate with. She hadn't touched him like that in a very long time.

When he turned to look back at Loki, he found himself locking gazes with the Alfan queen instead. There was a haunted darkness there he recognized. "Five years," she said quietly.

"You remember?" he asked, baffled as to how what was possible.

"I see the truth, in all things. I remember what happened and I remember the way it was changed." She hooked a thumb at Loki. "He didn't believe me."

"Bending time has some very odd results," Heimdal said sagely.

"I'm sorry," Thor told her sincerely. "I know it's a heavy thing to carry."

She nodded and reached out to squeeze his hand. "I'm glad to have him back."

"They are opening the portals again," Heimdal said. "I'm going to take our people back to Norway. I believe the rest of your friends are going to New York City to await news on Mr. Stark and Captain Rogers."

"I should go with them." Much as he wanted to interrogate his brother on his intentions towards the queen of Alfheim.

"I need to take my people home," she said, glancing at Loki.

"I will come with you." He glanced over at Thor like Thor might argue. Valkyrie's fingers had reached the back of his neck and he probably would have given someone his throne if they wanted it.

"We'll talk later," Thor said, hoping it didn't sound too much like a threat.

They departed, Heimdal in one direction, Loki and the Queen in the other. Valkyrie dropped her hand, but swung around in front of him. "Well that was a hell of a day," she said.

"You have no idea," he told her, drinking in her features. She went up on her toes, and curved her hand around the back of his head to pull him down to meet her so she could kiss him. And time unwound for real.

He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up off her feet. Gods he'd missed her. He lost her just as much as he had his brother, he'd just had to watch it an inch at a time.

"Hey, hey," she whispered when he finally set her back down. "It's all right."

"I'm not sure it is," he admitted. "But maybe it will be." He touched her face. "Come to New York with me?"

"Of course," she said immediately. Like it was obvious. " She squinted at something over his shoulder. "Let me go shoo Moonstone through the portal to Norway, I'm guessing New York doesn't have much by way of pastures." She tilted her head. "And then I want you to explain to me where she came from, why I know her name, and how in hel did you get Mjolnir back." He opened his mouth to reply, but then she said. "The timeline thing. You went to Asgard in the past." She squeezed her arm. "I really do love you," she added as she jogged off towards the portal.

Shit, he was in for a lot of very awkward explaining. Happy as he was to have her back, he had five years of baggage to set down that she had no idea about. He was tired just thinking about it. He really hoped Dr. Yee was alive.

*

"Hey! Asgard lady!"

Valkyrie turned in the direction of the voice, and saw a man waving a bow to try and get her attention. That had to be Clint Barton. Thor had given her a run down of all of the other Avengers. So she went over to him. "Sorry," he was saying. "There are a lot of names. You're the one with the flying horse?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I'm Valkryie. You must be Barton."

"Yeah. I haven't seen my family in five years and I really want to head home. Could you possibly take Peter here down to New York City?" He gestured at the young man in the spider outfit. She'd carried him at one point when they were relaying the glove across the battlefield.

This was the second time someone had mentioned five years. Clearly something very complicated had gone down. She'd have someone explain it to her later.

"Sure," she said, even though she had no idea what she'd do with Moonstone afterwards. Valkyrie whistled for her. Once she got the kid settled on the back with her, she swung around to tell Thor she had an errand to run, and would meet him at the hospital where everyone was going.

"Fly safe," he told her, rubbing Moonstone's muzzle. "Both of you."

"Keep the weather clear," she replied, and then she took off.

"I'm riding a flying horse," Peter muttered. "This is fine."

She laughed. "The world is weirder than you know. Where do you live?" He gave her an address that didn't mean anything to her, and she had to have him direct her from the air.

They landed on the sidewalk, and he practically fell off Moonstone and into the arms of one of the women waiting—she assume his mother. The other one, much younger, came over and said, "Thanks for bringing him."

"He fought well," she replied. Particularly for someone that young. He was probably young enough he had no business on a battlefield, but she supposed exceptions happened for the potential end of the world.

The young woman was pulled into a hug before she could answer, and Valkyrie took that as her cue to leave.

Despite being in the middle of the city, the hospital she'd been directed to had a small front courtyard with a grassy patch and a couple of trees, where she left Moonstone to graze. There were a couple of valet and security guys, but they all stared at her with their mouths open.

She left her weapons with security, as asked, though they looked equally baffled.

Once she got upstairs, she was not even remotely the weirdest-dressed person in that very crowded waiting room.

Thor broke away from the people he was speaking with and went to hug her again. "Young Peter got off safe?"

"I left him safely with his family." She leaned against him. "Please tell me there's some kind of food here?"

"There's a cafeteria downstairs," a man with wings folded to his back said. She'd flown near him during the battle a time or two, but didn't know his name. "Quality won't be great, but it's calories."

"Thank you," she said. Then she turned back to Thor. "I don't suppose you have local money. If I have anything somewhere in my pockets it would be kroner."

He made a face as if he didn't know, then he rummaged in his pockets. A moment later he came up with a credit card. "Aha." He handed it over. "This will do."

She got some food in her, and eventually the entire crowd decided to move downtown to the Starks' house--which Valkyrie was assured had a yard for Moonstone to wander around in.

Inside the back door of the house, a disembodied woman's voice directed her to the living room. She got one look at the very white carpet and very white furniture and looked up at the ceiling. "Could you possible direct me to the bathroom?"

"Down the hall, second door on the left," it told her calmly.

The advantage of having left in such a rush is that she'd literally thrown her armor on over what she'd had on when the portal showed up. It was leggings and a tunic and probably just this side of sleepwear—she'd been meditating when Harald started yelling about the horse—but it would do. Thor had magicked himself into regular Midgardian clothes, a trick she was deeply jealous of.

She hadn't put her hair up, and the person looking back from the mirror looked like she'd been through a tornado. Someone could have mentioned that. Gods, she was exhausted. She was on Norway time and it was probably midnight.

The living room was full of people by the time she went back out there, none of whom seemed bothered by having their dirty gear on the furniture. Thor was sitting on the floor by the fireplace, which was blazing, so she went over there. "Couldn't have snagged us a couch?"

"I am sturdier and less tired than most of them." He lifted an arm, beckoning her over. "Come, it's nice and warm here."

She sat down on the floor and tucked herself against his side. It _was_ nice and warm. "I swear, I could take a nap right here."

He pressed a light kiss to her hair. "Feel free. I don't think this is a particularly formal event."

Well, at least she felt less guilty stretching out on the floor. He'd always made a pretty decent pillow. She dozed through Thor eating most of a pizza, until he accidentally zapped her awake while discussing someone who died in the fight. She kissed his cheek and took the apology slice he offered her.

She was glad she was awake, though, because someone finally explained the five years. Thanos had won, and they built a time machine to re-gather the Infinity Stones so they could undo it. Some percentage of them clearly remembered the original timeline. Based on conversations from the battle, it seemed like Queen Syn and probably Heimdal could also recall this alternate reality. 

Valkyrie could guess, by the way Thor had reacted to her, that she'd been dusted, too.

"Small thing I don't understand," Thor asked. "There are a number of Asgardians who were killed by Thanos before he had all the stones. I didn't expect them to come back, and they did."

"I asked it to bring back everyone Thanos killed in his quest," Banner said. "I didn't know if it would work, but apparently it did."

"Someone should check on Xandar," he replied.

"Everything capable of interstellar communication got blown up at the compound," the little raccoon named Rocket said. "If we can get ahold of goldie before she goes off world again we could ask her."

"I'm right here," said another woman, whose name Valkyrie couldn't remember. She didn't entirely care about their squabbling or what was wrong with Xandar. Someone would explain it later. She was going to nap a little more.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Was is okay to go over there and touch him? She had no idea. To him they were several years on the other side of what she could only imagine was a messy breakup. It was such a mindfuck. She felt like the ground under her was unstable, and she hated that._

The crowd thinned after the pizza was consumed. Dr. Strange opened a couple of portals for people to go where they needed. He offered to send them back to Norway, but Thor didn't want to wake Valkyrie, and if he was honest he wasn't quite ready to go back there and be the King they'd expect him to be. Pepper offered everyone who lingered her guest rooms.

Dr. Yee had survived, her hover chair turning itself into an emergency suit—one that then malfunctioned and a couple of them had to go down to the basement workshop to take it apart and get her out of it. But she'd stepped out of the room when they'd done the snap, and had no memories of the five years. And, aside from general knowledge from the press, no idea who he was. Or had been.

It was late, he was tired, and that was going to be a long, hard conversation. It could wait until morning. He scooped Valkyrie up in his arms and carried her upstairs to the room Pepper had offered him.

"I'm not drunk," she told him when they got up there. There was a perverse irony to her saying that to him, and sounding a little defensive about it. "I just spent and entire day in one time zone digging fence post holes and then an entire day in another fighting a battle." 

"I know," he assured her. "You don't have to be drunk for me to carry you around."

"I didn't sleep well last night," she said, going into the bathroom, leaving the door open. He could see her leaning over the sink trying to detangle her rather windblown hair. "Bad dreams."

It was very strange to think yesterday had been a perfectly normal day for her. Had he been there? Had they done things together. What had the last three weeks been like? "Anything you remember?"

"No." She opened the vanity drawers, made a pleased noise, and began pulling out toiletries. The Starks were those kinds of hosts. Or they just had people here a lot. "Not really. I think I was just unsettled. I hate the tent, particularly with you gone. I miss that- What did you call it? AirBnB?" She eyed the shower, and then pulled her shirt off over her head.

"You're sleeping in a tent?" he asked, in an effort to distract himself.

She leaned in the shower to turn the water on, and then looked at him. "They were talking downstairs about a gap between when the timeline changed and right now. I'm guessing we have a different set of memories, don't we?" She shimmied out of her pants, something he felt like he really shouldn't watch, but couldn't help. "Where do they diverge? When Thanos attacked the _Statesman_?"

"Most likely." He scrubbed a hand over his face, hoping she assumed it was stress. "How did it happen for you?"

"We got everyone into the escape pods. You and and a few others stayed behind to give us cover. Thanos came on board and told Loki if he didn't cough up the Tesseract he'd blow up all the pods. He did so, there was some fighting, Thanos 'killed' Loki." She put that in air quotes. "Heimdal ended up calling the bifrost and taking himself and Banner to Midgard. Thanos blew up the big ship." She exhaled slowly, and her shoulders slumped. "That was really awful." She shook herself a little, and stepped into the shower. It was glass and she left the door open.

"Yes, that's. . . that's not how it went." He pushed down on his temptation to just jump in the shower with her and reached over to close the door, leaning next to the shower to continue talking to her. "In the original timeline he boarded before we'd finished evacuation, slaughtered most of our people and killed Loki and Heimdal."

She made a small noise, then asked, "Did I survive that?"

"You did. You managed to rally the surviving pods, commandeer a ship and get everyone left to Earth." Now was not the time to get into how the commandeering happened, or the strife that caused between them.

There was silence on the other side of the glass, though he could hear her washing her hair. Eventually she said, "I imagine that was easier with less people."

"It was. Also because half of Norway's population was gone, as well. We stayed in a house that had been left vacant."

"We had a house the first two weeks. A-frame, big fireplace, stairs that had to be a code violation. It was a vacation rental of some kind, and we got booted by American tourists." That had to be the same house. And clearly she spoke of it fondly.

"And now there's a tent?" he asked.

"The government gave us a bunch of emergency shelters. It's a plastic dome. That is the current Asgardian Royal Palace. Can you hand me that bottle on the counter?"

He pushed off the wall and grabbed what he hoped was the one she meant. "Now that the crisis is over, I'll see if I can get help getting us proper housing."

She opened the door to take the bottle, and steam billowed out. "We're working on building plans. You and I went to Oslo to meet with the Norwegian government to smooth some things out. There was a reception with the King. You managed to completely change my opinion about Midgardian formalwear." 

"Huh. A version of that happened in my version."

She laughed a little. "I hope the sex was as good in your version as it was in mine."

"It was excellent," he assured her. Though, in retrospect, it was one of the last happy memories they'd made together.

He heard the water go off, and the door opened. She came out and reached for a towel. He watched her dry off, feeling faintly guilty about it. But he was somewhat trapped where he was standing. "I thought you blew up with the ship," she said. "Or Thanos killed you. One of the pods found your brother floating in the debris field. We figured the Jotun in him let him survive that long in space."

He nodded. "Rocket and his crew found me and I worked with them to get Stormbreaker and go after Thanos."

"That seems to have happened the same. Heimdal could see us, so you came to get us after the battle. Put everybody back into the pods and steered them into the bifrost."

"That would certainly have been a lot easier."

She dried and braided her hair, and went out into the bedroom without putting any clothes back on. Of course, why would she? "You coming to bed?" she called.

Looking skyward, he took a deep breath and gathered whatever strength he had left. "There's something I need to tell you."

She waited for him to come back out into the room. She'd gotten in the bed, but was sitting up, covers tucked under her arms. Clearly she'd heard something in his voice. "What's that?"

"We weren't. . . We haven't - hadn't - been together. For years. In my time line. There's a lot of reasons why. Mostly I couldn't handle my failure in losing to Thanos and tried to drink myself into not caring."

She stared at him a long moment, then closed her eyes and bent her head. "Ah. Well. Do you want me to leave?"

"No," he said firmly. "I was just trying to explain. . . the relationship you remember. . . I want that again. I want to take this second chance. But I might need time. To ease into it. So I don't fuck up again."

She looked up at him again, and there were tears in her eyes. "Come to bed? I just want to sleep."

He nodded and shrugged out of his shirt before climbing into bed with her. He lifted his arm, an invitation for her to cuddle against him. He could hear something like relief in her sigh, and she tucked up next to him. Her breasts pressed against his side and her scent filled his lungs.

This was nice. He could do this. She was warm and familiar and comforting. He deserved a little of that right now.

They both slept without troubled dreams, which was probably a feat—or a sign they were just both so tired they didn't remember them. Their brains were going to have to process this stuff sooner or later. He thought it for the best, as they were both ones for physical comfort and he had no idea what he'd have done half-awake if she'd reached for him in the middle of the night.

When he went to the bathroom he ended up stopping in front of the mirror and staring for a while. He looked the most drastically different of all of them, and it was a trip. He'd let his beard and hair grow for so long it had literally been years since he'd seen this much of his face. To say nothing of what his body looked like, and how strange it felt to suddenly be in shape.

Valkyrie was still asleep, so he went downstairs in search of something to eat. Pepper, Dr. Yee and Morgan were in the breakfast room. Morgan flung herself out of her chair and crashed into his legs at a full run. "Please can I go see the unicorn? Please? please? Mommy said I had to ask!"

He put a hand on her back and rubbed. "Technically she belongs to Valkyrie. But she needs her sleep. Let me have some coffee and food and I'll take you to see Moonstone."

"Thank you thank you thankyou!"

"Morgan," Pepper called. "Come finish your cereal." Then to him she added. "Coffee's on and there's bagels on the counter."

"Thank you," he said, going over to pour himself a cup and pile up a plate. "Did you get the suit off?" he asked Dr. Yee.

"I did. I am now stuck in a manual chair, which I haven't used in years and am remembering why I hate."

"When Tony is awake, I will ask him if FRIDAY can have one re-fabricated if the schematics weren't blown up with the compound."

Thor sat at the table with them. "Would you have time to speak with me later today?"

Dr. Yee smiled. "Absolutely. Pepper and Amanda gave me a rundown of the years I missed. I understand you are one of the clients I, well, don't remember."

"Yes," he said. "You were very helpful. And I think I will need your help navigating some. . . new problems."

"How about I take Morgan out to see the pegasus?" Pepper offered.

"Mommy, it's a unicorn!"

He could hear Pepper sigh in a way that indicated she'd been having this argument all morning.

"That's fine. If you have any fruit or vegetables, she'd probably like a treat. Though I would wait for Valkyrie before letting Morgan sit on her."

"I will," she said. "Visiting will be plenty for now." Morgan was already doing a dance at the sliding glass door.

He watched them go, then looked back at Dr Yee. "Valkyrie was not part of the group that can remember the last 5 years. She is. . . expecting a relationship that I watched die."

She blew out a breath. "That is a very difficult situation. Have you talked to her about it at all yet?"

"I told her last night. That I want a second chance to do it right. She seemed upset. But we didn't talk about it."

"I imagine that's a hard thing to hear from one's partner. A relationship you thought was solid suddenly destabilized." She sipped her coffee. "Why did you break up?" 

This, at least, he had a good answer for. "I blamed myself for Thanos succeeding. I tried to drown my PTSD from that with alcohol and began shirk my responsibilities. She had to pick up the slack and didn't know how to handle my depression. There was some misunderstandings, we had a huge fight, she went down to the bar and got drunk and went home with someone else. The fight about that I set the house on fire and that was the end of that."

She cleared her throat at he could see her considering her words. "You set your house on fire? Deliberately?"

He sighed. "No. I . . . have lightning powers. They tend to respond to my emotions. Strong emotions."

Her shoulders relaxed, and she smiled. "Ah. I understand." She looked back up at him. "I will tell you what will probably be the hardest part. You are likely still upset about things that, from her view, she hasn't done yet. May not do at all. She may be defensive and upset about them. Particularly something as serious as infidelity, which is likely incomprehensible to her at this point. You also may feel you owe her apologies or need forgiveness for things you haven't done. She can't give you absolution for something she doesn't think happened. Both of your feelings are valid. But. . .complicated."

That was. . about what he expected. "She was willing to work with you in the last timeline, to help me get my head back on straight. I believe she would be willing to sit down with us now, as well. I do still love her, I want this. . .second chance to work."

"Good. That's a good place to start. Just keep in mind she may need some time to process this as well."

"Of course." He had not been under the impression this would be easy. But it would be worth it. He hoped.

*

Valkyrie woke to the sound and sight of a robot stealing her clothes. She jumped up to chase after it, but as she didn't want to go into the hall naked, she didn't get far.

"That's the laundry bot," the voice of the house told her. "Your clothing will be returned to you in an hour."

"That's great," she replied. Admittedly, her clothing had been filthy and she hadn't looked forward to putting it on again. "It's just that I'm naked."

"If you check the wardrobe, the Starks keep an assortment of clothes for guests."

Considering the toiletries they kept in the bathroom, she wasn't surprised. The best option seemed to be a long dress made out of the same soft stretchy material they seemed to use mostly for shirts. It felt very Asgardian. Then she went downstairs in search of food.

She found Thor in the kitchen chatting with a petite Midgardian in a wheeled chair. He looked up when she entered, smiling widely. "Good morning."

Her heart squeezed. "Hi." Was is okay to go over there and touch him? She had no idea. To him they were several years on the other side of what she could only imagine was a messy breakup. It was such a mindfuck. She felt like the ground under her was unstable, and she hated that. "Food?"

He pointed to the counter. "There's bagels left over. Or I could make you something, if you like."

"Bagels are fine, thank you," she said, going over to the counter. She wasn't actually sure what a bagel was, and hoped it would be obvious.

There was box that held an assortment of round breads and tubs with creamy spreads. She chose a few to try, poured herself a drink from the nearby carafe and went to sit with Thor and the woman.

"Valkyrie, this is Dr. Lani Yee. She's what Midgardians call a psychologist or therapist. She helps people work through emotional or mental problems that are too big to face alone." Thor cleared his throat and fiddled with his mug. "She helped me a great deal in the years you don't remember. She doesn't remember either. But, if you were willing, perhaps she could help us navigate the situation we find ourselves in."

"Nice to meet you," she said. She took a bite of her bagel, which was in fact delicious. "So you talk to people about their problems?" Asgardians as a culture, and Valkyrie as a person in particular, did not really talk about feelings. That way lie weakness and failure in battle. Of course, look where it had gotten them. 

"I help people work through what's going on in their lives. Sometimes when you're dealing with a problem it's helpful to have an objective outsider to talk it over with. They see it from a different angle. Especially when more that one set of emotions or ego is involved."

"He's always getting me to talk about things. I don't like it, but. . . sure got me to drink less." She looked up at him. "Well, did? Do you still do that? I don't even know." This was making her head spin. And hurt. Certainly this was the most she'd wanted to get very drunk since they'd arrived on Midgard.

"Yes," he said. "As far as any of can tell the time line is mostly intact till Thanos's attack. Afterwards, there is overlap, if not directly identical."

Over his shoulder, out the big glass doors, she could see Pepper and her daughter feeding Moonstone vegetables. "Where'd she come from?"

"I brought her from Asgard, when I went back to get one of the stones there. My mother put a spell on her so she would make it through the time travel unharmed. I can only assume that's why she was able to come to this timeline."

It made her really happy he'd gotten to see his mother. "That's a lot of effort to go through for your ex."

"You told me once it was the one thing you'd take from Asgard if you could." He smiled softly. "And ex did not mean I'd stopped loving you."

She swallowed a lump in her throat. Because she'd worried about that. "That's good to know."

He reached over and covered her hand with his. "I love you. I never stopped, no matter what happened between us. I just. . . I have to deal with that hurt that never got dealt with. And learn how to be with you and not hold you responsible for things you haven't done. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," she said. "But it is. . .well, yesterday we weren't, you know, broken. Now we are. I don't know how to change gears that fast. I don't know what to do. We have to go back to Norway, and we live together. In a tent. What do we do?"

Thor looked over at Dr. Yee for help.

"You figure out what you're comfortable with," she said calmly. "You'll need to catch Thor up on how New Asgard is doing right now and what his role should be. I would suggest rewinding your relationship a bit. Go on some platonic dates, talk and connect with each other. I'm getting the sense that your relationship is very sexual?"

"Yes," she replied. "You rewind before that and all you really get are insults and a knife fight. And I have no idea what a date is."

Yee looked over at Thor, vaguely perplexed. He shrugged. "Courtship on Asgard is a little more. . . historical?"

"Got it." She turned back to Valkyrie. "Dating is a process Midgardians used to get to know people they're interested in romantically to see if they're a good fit. It usually involves sharing meals or other entertainment, and having conversations about their past, current life, or whatever else comes to mind."

"Spend time together while fully dressed is what you're saying?" she asked. 

"To put it simply, yes. This is important for you, too. This is a new Thor, one with a collection of memories you don't share. It would be good for you to get know him."

She couldn't help but feel sad, just a little. But she was not a coward. They would figure this out. "I can do that."

Yee nodded. "I've given Thor my email address and phone number. We can arrange video sessions and you can both email me whenever you like about what's going on."

Valkyrie had no idea what email was, but hopefully Thor could explain that to her later. "I'm going to go outside and give the kid a ride on Moonstone. And then I should probably take her back home."

"I can say my goodbyes and take us on the Bifrost," he told her. "I'd like to see the town."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It felt wasteful to get a Manhattan hotel room just for a shower. "We could try one of those. . . date things. Since we're in a big city."_

It was not, by any definition of the word, a town. It was a refugee camp.

The first time around, there had only been a few hundred of them, and they'd been accommodated by the generous residents of the decimated Norwegian town next door while they built New Asgard. He and Valkyrie had lived in that borrowed house until well into the following fall. 

There had been no need for tents. But now they had 1500 people. There was so much to do.

The bifrost had attracted a crowd, but after a few minutes of greeting and waving, Valkyrie shooed them off and they hiked up to what looked like the largest of the domed tents. "The Red Cross provided most of this. There are bathrooms and showers up that way--there are a couple of trailers. You told all the men to piss in the woods to help with the lines."

"That sounds like some very sage advice." They ducked into the tent to find a nest of sleeping bags and blankets. "You said we had plans agreed upon with the king?"

"Yes. Though the King is actually not the head of the government—Midgard is weird. But his public support does a lot for smoothing things over." There was a plastic table, with a bunch of paper on it, which she dug through. "I think he's not crazy about the optics of all the tents. And apparently saving the world yesterday inspired the local officials to approve some mundane—Oh, here it is." She unrolled a map and spread it on the table.

He came to stand behind her, at the city plans and example blue print of a house. "It's so much larger than the one we had. But it's still right by the water." He traced one of the main roads with a finger, feeling flicker of excitement. He hadn't been able to enjoy the building the first time, with his own grief and crumbling personal life weighing him down. Now, though.

"I'd almost forgotten what it was like to look forward to something," he muttered.

She nudged him. "We'll fix that."

"I can't tell you how nice it is. The idea of something to do. A project to see through to the end." He looked down at her, smiling. "Build something real."

She leaned up to kiss him, and then seemed to catch herself and stopped. "Sorry. I probably shouldn't-"

He closed the distance between them and kissed her, cupping her cheek in one hand. He'd really, really missed her. She made a soft sound, opening her mouth, arms coming around him. He could feel her hands clutch his shirt as the kiss took off. 

"You are beautiful," he murmured against her mouth.

He could feel her smile. "So you tell me." He chuckled a little, and then he felt the lightning in his hand against her face. She made a noise that was not quite a laugh, but was a sound of pure joy. Something else he hadn't heard in a long time. "I still make you spark," she said.

"Only you," he told her. "Always."

Eventually she took a deep breath and stepped back. "What do we want to do about sleeping arrangements? We actually had cots at one point, we just broke them. The air mattress down there is more comfortable, but there is only one." 

"Are you uncomfortable sleeping next to me without having sex? We managed it last night."

"I'm not uncomfortable about any of it. And I think if one of us moves out, the gossip and questions will be unbearable. I just don't know how long it will last." 

She made a good point. One half-asleep grope and they'd be done for. "I think it's worth trying," he said. "At least until we think of something else. I did always sleep better with you."

"Me too." She nodded, clearly satisfied, and motioned for him to come back outside the tent. "We've been getting donations from all over Norway. Food, clothing, supplies. Including two fishing boats and gear, and permission to fish for our own consumption. We were even given the beginnings of a herd of sheep, which is why I spent the first part of yesterday building a fence."

"Is that where you found Moonstone?"

"Yes. It was a weird day." 

"Did you finish the fence?"

She groaned. "No. Which means the sheep are probably wandering around camp unless someone is watching them."

He nodded and peered up the hill. "Well. That sounds like a worthy task this afternoon."

Valkyrie grinned and pointed. "Post holer and wood are over there."

"Thank you, ma'am," he replied, kissing her cheek before walking over to retrieve them.

Eventually, when they returned the Infinity Stones to the past, he'd have to return Mjolnir as well. But for now, he could use it to drive posts into the ground and build a fence. It felt good to do an honest day's labor. To _make_ something.

When he walked back into camp, he had a complete fence, happy sheep, and a pleasant ache of physical labor in his limbs. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this happy. 

The sun was going down, and in the open area in the center of the camp near the communal structures, people were setting up a fire and passing out food and drink. Groups and families were eating at long rows of picnic tables. Quite a few waved to him as he walked in and he returned them, hunting till he found Valkyrie and Heimdal in the crowd. "Sheep contained," he told her.

She dipped into a curtsey he could tell was a joke. "You are a kind and benevolent ruler, your majesty." Then she pointed to a green lawn chair someone had festooned with ribbons and flowers. "Some of the children made you a throne."

He laughed. "And a worthy one it is. I shall take my sup there."

"And then I will tell you about my immense victory that you missed this afternoon."

"I can't wait to hear," he assured her, heading for the food tables to get his portion.

Apparently they'd gotten official sign off to run utility lines—water, sewage, electric, fiber optic—up from the town below, and ground would be broken in the morning. He'd dreaded being King of Asgard when it was gold throne in an opulent palace full of banquets and balls. But sitting in a lawn chair eating a cold burger and listening to the woman he loved talk about pipe material choices for water mains and how excited people were for _real toilets_ was absolutely wonderful.

"When Stark is out of the hospital I may talk to him about one of his arc generators. Give our town and the other one some back up power."

"Oh, that would be nice." They'd gone back to their tent and were getting ready for bed. "The solar generators are only as good as long as the weather is."

"And that will get poor quicker than we'll like. Especially with all the work we have to do."

She finished braiding her hair, and climbed into the blanket-nest they were calling a bed. "You know, with all the work that's coming, we'll probably fall into bed too exhausted to fuck anyway."

"That's very true," he agreed, lifting an arm for her to get closer. "It felt really good to get my hands dirty today."

She settled in, resting her head on his chest. She felt much more relaxed than last night. "You said that every day when we were putting the tents up. And there is _plenty_ more where that came from."

"Good," he said firmly. "I like having things to do."

*

_It was groundbreaking day._

_There had been a month of work and planning and meeting and reports and negotiations. Most of it the sort of thing the leader of a group should be doing, but theirs. . . hadn't. The first spate of meetings he'd attended, somewhat grudgingly. He genuinely didn't like slow, tedious, bureaucratic things, and Valkyrie had a certain amount of empathy._

_What she didn't have a lot of was patience. In retrospect, she should have seen that sighing and taking over whatever it was reluctant to do was the worst possible reaction. But she was barely holding herself together. She couldn't keep holding someone else. If he wanted to stay home and drink, fine. Not bothering him, not even asking anymore, brought her some peace._

_Once they got building, though. She was sure once there was actual physical activity Thor would shake this funk he was in and get to work._

_Instead she had to stand in the mud and try to explain to all the Asgardians, and all the local Norwegians why the King had simply not shown up. And then she swung the first pick-axe herself._

It was a weird dream. Not quite a nightmare, but the sort that left her unsettled.

Valkyrie was alone when she woke up, and she rubbed her eyes before climbing out of bed. It was still early, not much past dawn, and she had no idea where Thor had gotten off to. Throwing her clothes back on, she stepped outside and nearly crashed into him coming back with two mugs of steaming coffee.

"Oh," she said, taking it from him. "Marry me."

"Is this all it takes? Coffee at dawn. I'll remember that."

"I'm a sucker for a guy with a nice tent," she replied, taking a sip. Since she'd stopped drinking, she'd acquired a fondness for coffee. Had it's own bitter burn to it. 

He kissed her temple. "Ready for the ground breaking? It's going to be muddy."

She felt and unsettling sense of deja vu, and shook it off before smiling again. "Is that why you're up early?"

"Yeah. Too excited. Wanted to get one last look at the site before we tore it up." He sipped his coffee. "I missed it the first time around."

She frowned. "You know, I dreamed about that last night. That you were drunk and overslept."

He looked over at her, visibly startled. "That's what happened. You made excuses for me and did the groundbreaking for me."

She took another slug of the coffee. "Apparently I know you so well my subconscious is making up accurate things."

"Clearly," he said, sounding less than convinced.

"It's a big day," she said. "Let me get my mud boots on and grab some breakfast."

"I will wait for you here," he told her. "Drinking my coffee."

Valkyrie got herself some breakfast, and then they hiked over to the town site. Technically, the digging of trenches and laying of utility lines was already underway, but that had started back in town, and was working it's way out to them. This was different. This was the beginning of construction on their land. Earth moving equipment was lumbering over the hill, but the first actual groundbreaking would be done by hand.

"Another other reason I was up early," Thor said as they stood by the pasture fence watching the backhoes come in. "I got a phone call from the States. Stark is calling everybody back because they finished the time machine and want to sort out returning the stones."

"You want me to come with?"

He smiled. "I'd love that."

There was a flare of light off to her left, and when she turned she could see Loki in his disguise, and Queen Syn. "Hey!" she called. "You guys made it."

"Wouldn't miss it," Syn said, in a tone that made Valkyrie think there had been a fight and she'd won it. Valkyrie really liked that woman.

Heimdal emerged from the growing crowds, walking up to them. "I believe they are ready down there, whenever you are."

"Your Majesty," Valkyrie said, gesturing that he should go ahead. He smiled and shook his head, then held out his hand for Stormbreaker to come flying from wherever it was.

Then he reached out for her with his other hand. "Come with me."

She didn't know why it felt like this meant something. But it did. And she reached out and took his hand. He gave her hand a little squeeze. Then together they walked over to the site they'd chosen for the ceremonial ground breaking. Thor waved for silence, gave a little speech about new beginnings and second chances. Then he hefted Stormbreaker and drove it into the mud.

Everyone clapped, and kept it up while they retreated and the actual backhoe came to dig a large hole.

"It will be good for everyone to have something that feels permanent," she commented, watching the machine scoop out earth.

"And to see progress," Thor said. "There's something satisfying about watching building go up. From mere studs to a home."

"This first thing going to be a community building. Meeting hall, of sorts. I'm going to hike out and check on the utilities trenches. Go visit with your brother."

"I think I'd prefer the trenches." But he smiled and kissed her forehead before strolling over to where Loki and the queen stood.

Considering how she ended up having to get down in the mud-soaked trench, she came to wish they'd swapped tasks, too.

She was filthy by the time she got back in the afternoon, but really didn't feel like hiking up to the showers. They were going to New York this evening, and there would be real, indoor showers there. In the meantime, a sponge bath with the bottled water she had in the tent wasn't pleasant, but it would do.

She heard Thor a moment before he pulled the tent flap back. "How were the trenches?" he asked, clearly aware she was in there.

"Muddy," she replied. "Fair warning, I don't-" She was going to warn him she was mostly naked, but he was already in the tent. In fact he was standing in the doorway staring. "Close the flap," she said instead. 

Valkyrie didn't care what whomever saw, but they'd been managing this whole thing where they slept together without sex by not provoking each other.

He fumbled but did so. "Sorry. There's no way to knock."

"Nothing you haven't seen. I figured I'd shower in New York," she said, wringing out the washcloth she was using. Maybe wherever they were staying would have good handheld showerheads. That's about where she was at this point.

"Do you want me to help you with your back?" he asked.

She sighed. "Honestly, it'll just turn me on."

He was silent a moment, then nodded. "I'll meet you outside, then."

She closed her eyes for a minute. Maybe she should have said yes. She missed being touched. After so many, many years without it, she'd gotten accustomed to it again. It was nice to have someone scratch your back.

This was really hard.

Once she was done, she climbed up to put her clothes on and pack a small bag. They didn't need to stay overnight, really, but neither of them could pass up the offer of a real bed. "I envy you your magic," she said as she stepped outside. "How was your brother?"

"Well," he replied. "The Queen continues to put up with him, much to my surprise and delight."

"Love works in mysterious ways."

"I suppose." He studied her a moment, then reached out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry."

She looked up at him. "For what?"

"I know you miss. . . how we used to be."

"Ah. Well." She looked away a moment. "I do. But I'm trying to have little faith here. And I find you worth the trouble."

He smiled. "I don't think I was the first time around. But I am trying." He leaned in to kiss her tenderly. "Ready to go to New York?"

The bifrost had them there in second. The meeting at the hospital was reasonably efficient, considering. Stark was in pretty good shape given how badly he'd been injured, and everyone was eager to get the stones back to where they belonged.

Thor got voluntold to take back the three stones that were on other realms—Power on Morag, Soul on Vormir, and Reality on Asgard. 

"Take someone with you," Steve Rogers said. "We should do this in teams, especially since we're not short on particles."

Thor looked over at her, and asked as if it wasn't already a done deal. "Up for an adventure?"

"To Asgard?" Asgard was the only one that felt. . . odd to her. For a lot of reasons.

"We'll bring back a second pegasus," he offered. "You can re-establish the breed."

"And a better sword." Since they were taking things. . .

Thor grinned. "And a better sword."

They assigned out the other return trips. Then Banner told them, "It'll be later in the week, we're almost ready. We'll call you all when it's go time."

The whole thing was over in less than an hour. "I suppose we should just go back home," Valkyrie said as they left, trying not to think too longingly of her real, indoor shower.

"Or," he said slowly. "I could get us a hotel room and you could have that shower."

It felt wasteful to get a Manhattan hotel room just for a shower. "We could try one of those. . . date things. Since we're in a big city." 

"I'd love that."

It felt like supper time to them, but it was lunch in New York. Hotels generally didn't let people check in until later in the day--but not only were they allowed to, but the hotel refused to take any sort of payment. Tucked away in Norway, she kind of forgot how very famous he was.

A table at a nice restaurant was just as easily procured. They were probably a bit underdressed for it, but it was lunch. And people probably wrote it off as weird Asgardian dress.

"This was a very good idea," Thor said after they'd given their orders. "Thank you for suggesting it."

"I think it _is_ a good idea. To do this. It was a good suggestion. It's just back home there's so much work. We're too tired to socialize." It was probably for the best. The exhaustion was most of the reason their sleeping arrangement was feasible.

"And I would like to know more about you," he admitted.

"I think I am the same as your memory of me. I've told you most of my misbegotten history." She paused. "Though I suppose not so recently for you."

"I was hoping for a happy memory or two. Maybe your childhood?"

"My mother was a Valkyrie, too," she said, rubbing the tattoo on her wrist absently. "She was injured in battle before I was born, and retired. When I was a little girl, she used to braid my hair and tell me stories of all the places she'd been."

"What about your father?" he asked. "Was he. . . present in your life?"

"I don't know that I would call him 'present', but he did live with us. He was your standard-issue upper class Asgardian man. He was much older than my mother—he fought the Dark Elves, the first time, with your grandfather. Didn't have a lot of patience for children, particularly the female one born to his second wife." 

"Mmm." Thor's rumble was an interesting blend of sympathy and disapproval. "I know the type."

"He thought your father was a reckless hothead with no respect for tradition."

"Probably an accurate assessment at the time."

Their food arrived, and in the pause, she decided talking about Odin's youthful adventures wasn't a positive line of discussion. "Tell me a happy memory of yours," she said when the waiter left.

He paused, clearly considering it. "My mother had a large garden. Flowers and herbs mostly. Loki and I used to help her tend it. it was very. . . peaceful."

"We should plant one," she told him. "Back home."

"I'd like that. Loki tells me Syn has an extensive garden at her palace. She may be able to get us cutting from Asgardian plants."

"Flowers from home would probably make a lot of people very happy."

"That was my thought. Perhaps a small orchard and vegetable plants. Many of the refugees have agricultural backgrounds. Having something to farm might also be a comfort."

It was a really good idea. "Did you guys do that in the other timeline?"

"Farming? No. There was a lot of fishing. But there was no Syn to get plants from, a quarter as many people to feed and work. . . and the world had resources it wasn't using. The entire situation was very different."

"It's sounds like was a lot darker. I don't doubt how much that could weigh on someone."

He nodded. "Working with Dr. Yee, I've realized the worst thing for me is to have nothing to do. So when we landed here and the Norwegians welcomed us, it was lovely, but it was easy. We were taken care of. There was no urgency to anything. Now, the welcome is still there, but we have things to do. Things to accomplish."

"And what there was to do, I took over," she said. 

"It made sense. Certainly from your perspective. It was easier to do it yourself than trying to drag my miserable ass out of bed to do it."

“There may have been a manner of self preservation to it as well. I am similar and I know what happens when I am alone with my thoughts and some booze. In the version I remember I was pretty rattled when we got here as it was—I’m sure it was worse watching our people get halved twice. So I did what I needed to do to keep myself sane. I assume.”

"Oh, certainly." He sipped his water and cut off another bite of steak. "And it was certainly not your job to babysit me. It was just. . . a lack of communication combined with very difficult circumstances."

"The end of the world's probably not the best time to start a new relationship."

"I can attest to the truth of that."

"You know, a city like this must have some sort of botanical gardens. If we wanted to do something relaxing with our afternoon."

"I know it have a park. I'm sure there's gardens."

They did end up finding the gardens to wander around in, though they did keep getting stopped by his fans. Valkyrie took six different pictures of him with random people. She found it amusing, and kind of adorable. It was a very relaxing afternoon, which she tried not to feel guilty about. There would be plenty of days doing manual labor to come.

Dinner was some sort of sausage in bread from a street card. The guy manning it wouldn't let them pay for that, either. "Does this happen to you a lot?" she asked as they sat and ate on a bench.

"It happened a lot right after we first became a team. I wasn't here full time, but whenever I was people would stop me or try to give me things for free. We became more controversial after the Ultron debacle and I spent more time off world." He took a huge bite of his sausage, chewing a moment before adding, "Clearly defeating Thanos has earned us back our good will."

"And the world doesn't even know what you guys really did."

"Probably for the best. Aliens are hard enough for them to wrap their heads around."

"I feel sometimes like they don't understand that _we_ are aliens. I can't tell you how many times I've heard one of the Norwegians refer to Korg and Meik and all them as 'the aliens' as if the Asgardians are not."

"Well, based on their media, I think most people expected aliens to be humanoid shaped, but different enough to tell on sight they weren't human. Asgardians in local clothes look the same as everyone else. At least until you try to arm wrestle us."

"Apparently we're too dense to be scanned by some of their medical machines. I think you told me that."

He chuckled. "Yes. We have more molecular density. Stark and Banner have pondered if Asgard has - well, had - slightly different gravity. I've never noticed it, but that doesn't mean it's not possible."

"I don't know that you'd have been able to bring a human there if it was significantly different."

"I agree. But there is a certain amount of space magic that they tend to use to hand wave such things."

She finished her sausage. "We should head back. There is a shower with my name on it."

He sucked a bit of yellow sauce off his thumb and nodded, offering her his elbow. "My lady."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I don't understand," she said, shaking her head. "You're saying I'm dreaming about something that happened?"_

When they got back to the hotel, Valkyrie disappeared pretty immediately into the bathroom for what turned out to be a very long shower. Thor didn't miss much about the original timeline, but he had to admit—their living conditions while New Asgard was being built were much better. 

He settled on the bed, listening to the water running and scrolling through channels on the TV. It had been a very nice day. They'd talked more than they had in. . . possibly ever. About all manner of topics. Dr. Yee's suggestion about dating had been right on the money.

She came out of the bathroom wrapped in an enormous robe with a towel around her hair. "I feel like a new person."

"You smell divine," he offered.

She grinned at him, then looked away and cleared her throat. "You should go have one. You won't regret it."

"I think I shall. Who knows when we'll see another?" He slid easily off the bed and walked past her to take over the bathroom.

The shower was every bit as awesome as she'd promised, and because it was a big hotel the hot water seemed endless. When he came back out, she was still in her robe, having fallen asleep on top of the covers.

He was somewhat grateful for it. He'd pulled on the jeans he'd been wearing all day, but was deeply beginning to wish he'd brought a change of clothes. Though with the way she was sprawled, it was going to be difficult wiggling into bed. He sat in the desk chair to dry his hair and ponder his options. Her hair was still in a towel, he noted. It was very long, very thick, and curly. Once, while on the ship, they'd shared a bath and then fallen asleep with her hair loose and wet. In the morning it had taken him 45 minutes and half a bottle of conditioner to get it untangled. He ought to wake her.

Getting up, he walked over to the bed and carefully undid the towel, revealing her mass of hair. He could, he suppose, attempt to comb it out for her. But it would almost certainly wake her up and he'd probably do it wrong. So he touched her shoulder lightly to wake her. 

"Mmm?" she mumbled before cracking her eyes open. Her face shifted into a drowsy smile. He remembered when they were first sleeping together on the ship, waking her could be a little like taking his life in his hands. She'd pointed a dagger at him a time to two. "Hey."

"Hi," he said, aware his voice had deepened. "You like to fix your hair before bed."

"Yeah," she replied, not much more than a whisper, though she didn't make any move to do so. Instead she tugged on his arm. "Come here."

He sighed, feeling rather helpless, before leaning in and kissing her. Her hand cupped the side of his face and she lifted up a little to him, but she didn't push it. 

Shifting, he put a knee up on the bed, bracing himself above her as he let the kiss grow deeper. Her arms wound their way around his neck, and she pulled him down to her. In the tiny pause they took to breathe, she whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he said softly. "I wouldn't be kissing you if I didn't want to."

"Sometimes you look at me like a sweet you're not allowed to have. And I want nothing more in the world than to offer it."

He stroked damp hair out of her face. "I worry that getting physical will. . . ruin things somehow."

"Because we won't do anything else," she said. "You're not wrong. We'd have spent all day today in this hotel room."

"I liked going out with you today," he told her. "Talking to you. I love your body, but I love your mind just as much."

"Likewise." She kissed him again, but it was gentle. "Help me braid my hair?"

He nodded and sat up, helping her to do so as well. She turned on the bed, offering him her back and he combed his fingers through her hair. "Fancy or utilitarian?"

"I didn't know you did fancy." She looked over her shoulder. "Next time. I genuinely am tired—for the record I honestly wasn't trying to get into your pants for that reason. Do what's fastest, I'll fix it in the morning."

"As you wish." He whipped through a basic fish tail braid, tying it off at the bottom. "There you are."

"I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you," he replied, kissing the back of her neck.

She shivered. "Okay. Don't do that." Then she stood up. "You may avert your eyes, and you may sleep in your pants if you feel so compelled, but this is a king sized bed and I am taking the rare opportunity to sleep naked in between clean sheets. I will stay on my half."

"I will trust you with my virtue. Just this once."

Valkyrie laughed and shrugged out of her robe to get into bed. He did his best not to look. Too much. Jeans weren't the most comfortable clothing item to sleep in, so he kicked them off, tucking himself under the sheets on his side. It really was a very nice bed.

She was asleep almost immediately. It took him a little longer to drift off. He had no idea how long they were asleep when she woke him by sitting upright very abruptly.

"What?" he murmured, struggling to wake up.

Her hands were over her face, and she groaned a little. "It's fine. Go back to sleep."

"You don't seem fine."

"Just bad dreams," she said, and he could hear a quaver in her voice.

"Hey," he said softly, sitting up to touch her back. "What is it?"

"It's not even that bad. It's not like the nightmares about Hela. But it's _so_ realistic it doesn't feel like a dream, and that's just. . . disorienting. For a moment when I wake up I can't tell what's real.'

"Is it about us?"

She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. "It was actually like two bad dreams with a smutty dream in the middle. Though it may have been a consistent narrative. We were fighting about something. Some construction-related disagreement. We stopped in the middle of the fight to have sex on the kitchen table, which we broke. You went out to. . . get something. Hardware store, I think. To fix the table. And then it was nighttime and I was retrieving you from the town bar. You went to sleep and I was crying in the shower. I just felt _so_ miserable. That's about when I woke up."

Thor stared at her, heart in his throat. He remembered that. Most of it anyway. "How-" he said softly, unsure what question he really wanted to ask.

She turned towards him. "What?"

"That happened. Just like that. The first time."

"I don't understand," she said, shaking her head. "You're saying I'm dreaming about something that happened?"

"Yes. Which, to the best of my knowledge, shouldn't be able to happen."

"How is that possible?"

"I don't know. And, to be honest, I'm not sure if we should ask Team Science or Team Magic."

"Instinct says start with Heimdal. Though, I know Syn remembers the missing five years—despite having not been there." She sighed and laid back down. "It's somewhere to start."

He rolled on his side to look at her. "I'm sorry you're seeing these things."

"Well, the middle part was pretty good."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "Our angry sex was usually exemplary."

She lifted a hand to run her fingers along the side of his face. "I think it was a connection when we couldn't communicate otherwise. Which, clearly, we couldn't."

"I think it made us try to drag out our relationship longer than we might have."

"Maybe we knew there was something worth saving if only we could get our shit together."

"That's an optimistic way to look at it," he said, smiling. "A bit unlike you."

"It's not optimism. It's just something I _need_ to be true. Because if it's not, then all we're doing here is biding time. And I can't-" she shook her head. "This is hard enough as it is." 

"I know." He stroked a finger along her cheek. "For what it's worth, I do think we're something worth saving. That's why I'm trying so hard to make this work."

"When we get all this stuff with the stones dealt with and get settled back home, I want to have an actual conversation about the sex embargo. It is going to hit a point where it's doing more harm than good."

He nodded. "I understand. Do you want to involve Dr. Yee? As an objective voice?"

She opened and closed her mouth, and he could see her considering. "I will not be at all bothered if you want to ask her opinion, I know you talk to her pretty often. But that feels too private to discuss in front of an audience, if I'm being honest."

"All right. I'd like an opportunity to sort my feelings out with her, before we have our discussion. Sometimes I can't really put a name to what's bothering me, until she digs it out."

"Fair," she said. She shifted closer to him, and tucked her head under his chin. "Can I just. . .?"

"Of course." He rubbed her back. "Always."

*

The decision had been made, at some point, that when returning each stone, the return them to the exact moment and location where they had departed. Valkyrie thought that was a little unnecessary, particularly since they weren't even the same people who'd gotten the stone, but what did she know about time travel?

She did kind of wish Thor had warned her they were going to appear in the middle of the palace, directly in front of his mother.

Frigga looked so startled she stepped back and put a hand to her chest. "Well! Apparently it worked."

Thor beamed. "It did. Better than expected, actually."

"I cannot believe how different you look." She paused. "Where is all your hair?"

"It was lost in battle," Valkyrie said. "We're working on it."

Frigga turned to look at her, peering at her rather intently. "You look. . ."

"Familiar? Yes. I am who you think I look like. I just spent a millennia or two on a planet where time doesn't work normally." They'd known each other at best in passing—Frigga had been Odin's brand new bride, and Valkyrie wasn't exactly a court lady. But the Queen would have known her husband's military commanders. And there were reasons she, in particular, was memorable.

"We gave them all proper funerals," she replied after a moment.

"I knew he would have to once they were here." Beside her she could see Thor's brow knit, and she made a little gesture to indicate she'd explain latter. "That was a very long time ago."

"Time doesn't always heal all wounds." Fridge reached out for her hands. "Thank you. For your bravery."

There was a strange and surprising lump in her throat. Her emotions had been raw lately, and kindness seemed to hit the hardest. She did not think anyone had ever thanked her, for any of that awful disaster. And all she could do was nod, because she had no idea what might come out of her mouth if she opened it.

Thor reached out for her and she tucked into his side, happy for the contact. He handed the red stone back to his mother. "This was the Aether. It needs to be hidden somewhere safe. It would be best if no one knew where it was."

"Put it in the vault for now," Valkyrie said. They'd already vastly altered the timeline just taking the Aether out of Jane Foster. Might as well save some lives while they were at it. She appreciated the instructions from Team Science back home. . . but they were still just humans with a rudimentary grasp on things this level of mystical. "And then have Odin hide it somewhere." She did not add, _he's really good at hiding things,_ at the end, though Frigga probably heard it anyway. 

"I will," she said. Then, "And now I understand. The winged steed. It was for you."

Valkyrie smiled. "She is well and survived the battle I needed her for." 

"I'm glad to hear it. I hope she serves you well, in more peaceful times."

"Before we left, we were going to get her some company to send to the future." She held up the Time Device. "We brought our own thing for it."

She laughed. "Midgard won't know what hit it."

Valkyrie nudged Thor. "The hammer."

He sighed and handed Mjolnir over. "This needs to stay as well."

She rubbed his back a little, then ducked back to give him a little space to hug his mother and say goodbye.

"I love you," he told her. "Thank you for your help."

"I love you, too." Frigga looked up at him a long moment, then said, "Take what you've won. Don't live in the past."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "Watch your blind spot," he told her.

"I will. I'm glad you came back again."

"So am I." He hesitated another moment, studying her, clearly reluctant to leave. Then he sighed and stepped back to stand next to Valkyrie. "Goodbye, Mother."

Valkyrie took his hand and squeezed it. They left the palace to get the pegasus and send him back to the future, and then the new sword he'd promised her. It wasn't Dragonfang, but it would do quite well.

"Heimdal sent the bifrost for me," she said. "When I was on Niflheim. Odin had wanted to keep it a secret and didn't expect survivors, so he was going to just leave us there, even though it meant we'd be unable to get into Valhalla. Heimdal told him I was alive and convinced him to bring me home. I sent all the bodies through instead."

"Ah. So the other Valkyries had proper funerals?"

She nodded. "Clearly Odin didn't expect me to do something like that. But I knew it wouldn't be able to be ignored if I did, and took a gamble Heimdal would understand what was happening and why and keep the bifrost open—which he did. I jumped out of the bifrost myself mid-stream, which is how I ended up on Sakaar."

"Seems the recommended way." He kissed her lightly. "I'm glad my mother took care of them."

"The longer I know you, the more I think you are entirely hers."

"She taught us both. More than I knew at the time. I always considered myself more like my father."

"Perhaps it takes time for who we really are to emerge." She took his hand. "On to our next target?"

"Yes. On to Morag." They hit their time travel controls and were whisked off.

Morag was quick and straightforward.

Vormir was less so.

"A soul was traded for the stone," the red-faced Stone Keeper told them. He seemed very irritated. Perhaps because he'd just been relieved of his post, and they were disrupting that. "I cannot take it back." He peered at them. "How did you get it?"

"He gave it to us to return," Thor told him. "We have no more use for it."

"You must make a sacrifice to have it," he said solemnly.

"We don't want to have it," Valkyrie said. "We're trying to return it."

"You should not be _able_ to have it. Not without a sacrifice." He floated in a circle around them. Valkyrie wondered, sincerely, if she could stab him. She had a new sword. It hadn't even had its first taste of blood. Then he stopped, and looked at them. "You have come to relieve me of my duty. You will be the new Stone Keeper."

"No," Thor said. "No, not even a little. We're very much not keeping it."

"I can't take it. For I made no sacrifice. I have none to make, so I was trapped here. You would be able to, wouldn't you?" 

Valkyrie paced away, trying to figure out how corporeal he was. It was possible a stab wouldn't kill him. She might have to take his head off. Because she was starting to wonder if this was how this was going to need to go. She peered over the cliff edge—Barton had told them how it had gone down. "No," she said. "No, he would not, and neither would I."

Thor was studying the man. "I have many things I could sacrifice, but I don't want the gods-bedamned stone so I'm disinclined to sacrifice any of them." The Keeper remained impassive. "What if I just put it on the ground here and left?"

"That is not how it works."

"What happens if one of us jumps and doesn't die?" Valkyrie asked. She looked at Thor. "Come look, no way that fall is far enough." She wasn't sure there was a height that would be, since an Asgardian could survive an impact at terminal velocity. But it certainly wasn't this. "I think you could jump that."

He moved to peer over the edge. "Oh, most certainly. I've done worse."

"If no one dies, then there is no sacrifice." The Stone Keeper was now started to sound entirely peeved, which she took as a compliment.

"You don't have anything here that would kill us, Red," she said.

"Your sword is uru," he replied, drifting over to them.

She raised it at him. "Come closer, you'll meet it." 

He backed up, which meant he _could_ be harmed. "That will pierce either of you just fine. You need only decide who."

"I'm not stabbing him and I'm certainly not handing him the hilt." Valkyrie said. She was certain Thor wouldn't stab her even if being roasted by the fires of Hel itself. She was less certain he wouldn't stab himself if he thought that was the only option, and she was not gambling with that. She took a step forward, holding her sword level and pointed at him so the Keeper could see there wasn't even the tiniest bit of shake to it. "Come up with a solution or I will stand here and hold you at the point of this sword for the next thousand years."

Thor was studying the stone. "You thought we were here to replace you." He sounded thoughtful. "Which means. . . you're not to original Stone Keeper. Which means there's something greater than you who makes these rules." He focused on the red faced specter. "Isn't that right? You're the messenger, not the boss."

The Keeper stared at him a moment. "A sacrifice-"

"Yes, yes. So you say. But I think we're done talking to you. I want to speak to your manager." He turned to face the cliff. "Hey! We don't want your stone anymore. It's served its purpose. Thank you very much, but we'd like to give it back. So it will be safe." There was utter silence. Even the Keeper looked nervous. Abruptly, the wind died down and the churning clouds in the distance seemed to smooth out.

Apparently taking that as some sort of sign, Thor pulled his arm back and threw the stone into the distance.

There was a moment of quiet, then the clouds swirled again, rough and dark. Light shot out of the sky—but it wasn't the lightning. It was. . . something else. Like the bifrost. For a moment it blinded her.

When she could see again, they were no longer on the cliff and the Stone Keeper was gone. Instead, they were calf deep in still water and Thor was holding a petite red haired woman.

Valkyrie blinked. "What the. . .?" Was this the woman who'd died for the stone?

Based on Thor's grin, it seemed to be. "Hello Natasha," he said voice a little thick. He set her down on her feet and she blinked owlishly in surprise.

"Wha- How?"

"We threw the stone back, and apparently it returned you," Valkyrie said.

"You did it," Natasha said, look at Thor. "Time reversed. I can tell by looking at you."

"We did. Thanos and his army is gone and all the people who were snapped returned. And now that you're back, I can say no one died in the attempt."

Natasha looked down at her wrists. "My device is gone."

"We have a spare," Valkyrie said, fishing it out. "There was a lot of paranoia."

"Ready to go home?" Thor asked. "We're done. And I know a lot of people will be happy to see you."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"What we were to each other had been dying long before that night. It simply finished the job. It was a mercy killing, like one of many we've both seen on the battlefield."_

Bringing Natasha back, closing the loop and putting all of this finally to rest, was very very satisfying. They went back to Norway, where the weather was gorgeous and construction was proceeding on schedule. Perhaps partly in return for retrieving Nat, Stark had given him several arc reactors to take back for the town.

The water and sewer lines being run out from town had made it to them, which meant more bathroom facilities and the end of the portable toilets. It was an event quite literally worthy of throwing a party, so there was an impromptu cookout and bonfire. Thor hauled out his decorated lawn chair, and Valkyrie sat on the ground leaning against his legs while they watched the fire and he braided a ribbon into her hair. 

An anonymous benefactor had donated a couple more trailers, and Thor let himself be convinced to declare one the royal residence. He and Valkyrie were both really tired of that tent. They were very busy during the day, as foundations were poured and walls raised, but she was still bothered by her uncomfortably accurate dreams. Heimdal was baffled—a rare feat. 

He could tell where in their original relationship her dreams were. It was about when she'd started losing her patience with him, and he responded to that by drinking more. Conversations devolved. All of their sex had been angry, and some of it bad. His memories were fogged by time and alcohol, but he remembered enough to know what she was seeing.

Eventually they tried Syn.

They sent word ahead of time and were rewarded with an official invitation to dinner and a room overnight to discuss it properly. It was somewhere between a state visit and a family get-together and Thor found himself both annoyed and amused at the sight of Loki standing by her side when they arrived. All his tricks and mischief and he'd still somehow ended up with a throne.

"Welcome to Alfheim," he said, spreading his hands in a very Loki gesture.

Syn rolled her eyes and stepped forward to take Valkyrie, then Thor's hands in greeting. "I'm glad you could come. Are you hungry or would you like a tour?"

"A tour would be nice," Valkyrie said.

She took them through the public parts of the palace and then out into the gardens. There were several plants that Thor recognized and he thought of his conversation with Valkyrie about taking some cuttings for New Asgard once it was ready for such things.

Dinner was quite fancy. It felt like a state occasion. But it was really, really nice. Their diet these days consisted of a mix of MREs and things cooked over a fire or a camp stove, eaten standing up or on picnic benches. A formal meal, with proper cutlery, was a nice change.

"Now," Syn said, after appetizers and small talk were done. "Your message said you had a question for me?"

"I'm having dreams about things that actually happened," Valkyrie said. "In the five years I don't remember."

She tilted her head, immediately curious. "Have you ever had any sort of prophetic dream before?"

"No. And I have no magic whatsoever."

"Hmm." She looked at Thor. "Do you know where she was when you reset time? I assume not in the room with the rest of you that remember."

He shook his head. "I believe she was flying home on. . ." He trailed off, suddenly realizing something. "She was on the pegasus I brought back from Asgard to 2023. My mother put a spell on here so she'd survive the trip through the portal. She shouldn't have still been here when time rolled back time, but she was."

"Interesting. Did you 'wake up' astride her?" Syn asked Valkyrie.

"No, she appeared in the field near my tent. Though no one actually knows where I was, I could have already been home."

She nodded. "Whatever spell Frigga put on her, it clearly made it impervious to time travel, for want of a better term. Which is why neither your scientific method or the magic of the stones disturbed it. If you were in contact with her while time reverted around it. . . it's likely that you were caught in an echo of some sort. Touched by the same magic."

"What does that mean?" Valkyrie asked. "That these really are memories?" 

"Memories. Glimpses into an alternate time. I didn't cast the spell on your pegasus, nor was I present for the use of the Stones, so I can't say for sure. But I think it is likely some sort of echo of the life you didn't live."

Thor could see her take a deep breath and let it out. "So it's going to keep happening?"

"I see no reason why it wouldn't. There's something in her fighting to get out. And the simplest way is through your subconscious as she sleeps."

Valkyrie rubbed her forehead. "That's just fantastic."

"I'm sorry this wasn't the news you wanted."

"It's not your fault. I appreciate your shedding some light on it." She rubbed her palms on her thighs beneath the table. "Might we see our rooms?"

"Of course." She stood and gestured for them to come with her. It was a lovely bedroom and sitting room, far nicer than anything they'd stayed in. . . probably ever. It was a royal palace, after all.

Valkyrie sunk down on the couch and kicked her shoes off. "Feel free to go hang out with your brother, I don't want to ruin your evening."

"Perhaps in a moment. You seemed upset I didn't want to abandon you."

"I am." She sighed leaning her head back against the couch. "Apparently I'm going to be treated to—given the current pace—years of realistic dreams about the worse version of my life."

He sat on the end of the bed, facing her. "Now that we have a theory on why it's happening, perhaps the scientists on Earth would have an idea on how to help."

She leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees. “If there is anything in there really bad, I want to know before it surprises me.”

He hesitated a moment. "Now?"

Valkyrie's eye narrowed a little. She looked suspicious, then resigned. "So there is something?" She sighed. "This might not be the venue for that kind of conversation."

"I agree it should wait. I'd hate to set Syn's palace on fire."

She looked down at the ground and blew out a breath. "That bad, huh?" They'd made a fairly conscious decision not to talk about the specifics of their breakup. She didn't want to be influenced by what had happened in a life she didn't live, and he didn't want to dredge up old resentments. Now it looked like she would remember it all.

He wondered what would happen to them when she did. He didn't know if he would survive losing her again.

Still, he wanted to be honest with her. It would be worse if he hid things. "There was fire the first time around," he admitted. "Though I've come to terms with it, so perhaps it wouldn't be as bad this time."

Valkyrie looked up at him. "Something I did. That made you upset enough to call a bolt of lighting." She sighed heavily, closed her eyes and leaned back against the back of the couch. After a moment she looked at the ceiling. "I don't think I need you to tell me."

"We'd had a big fight," he offered. "I'd asked you to leave. And you were very drunk."

"Yeah, that's usually when I make my worst decisions." She was still addressing he ceiling. "What was the fight about?"

He sighed, thinking back. He had not been at his best for the whole affair either, hence the lightning and fire. "I misunderstood a comment from Korg about something that had happened when you were trying to get our refugees to Earth. When I asked you about it, I was drunk and phrased it like an asshole. You were insulted and snapped back. Before I knew it we were fighting about everything. Everything we'd been stewing on for the last few months. Very ugly things were said very loudly."

Her eyebrows quirked. "I don't doubt it. I fight with words like I fight with a blade. Don't engage someone you're not willing to kill."

"Yes, you were equally deadly. Anyway, eventually we ran out of steam and separated to drink ourselves into oblivion. You went down to the bar and. . . found entertainment. When you came home and told me-" He gestured and made and explosion noise. "Set the house on fire. We didn't spend another night together."

She crossed her arms and hunched her shoulders. "I don't know how to apologize for something a different version of me did. But I feel like I should."

Thor shifted, moving to kneel before her. "You don't have to apologize. This was one of the reasons I hoped you never remembered. What happened between us in that other time. . . it took both of us. I can't be angry at you for things she might have done, when you aren't upset with me for the things I did."

She leaned forward, until she touched her forehead to his. "One's heart does not always follow logic."

"I know," he said, stroking her hair back from her face. "But it happened a long time ago, to two other people. We can let it go."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. What we were to each other had been dying long before that night. It simply finished the job. It was a mercy killing, like one of many we've both seen on the battlefield."

"I love you," she whispered, lifting a hand to cup his jaw and stroke her thumb over his cheek. "I can't fathom there was a world where I stopped."

He turned his head to kiss her palm. "I know. I hope you never can."

She sighed, and moved the little bit she needed to kiss his mouth. He wrapped his arms tight around her, lifting up to meet her. She leaned into him, and he rocked back to sit on his heels, letting her slide off the chair into his lap.

"I do love you," he murmured on her mouth. "I never stopped."

"I know," she replied between kisses. "I don't understand, but I know."

He chuckled, nuzzling her neck. Then he stood with her in his arms and turned to sit on the bed with her in his lap to continue kissing her. It was more comfortable than the floor. Eventually, she broke the kiss to rest her forehead against his again, and catch her breath. "Hey," she whispered. 

"Hi." He rubbed her back. "I do love kissing you, too."

She snorted a small laugh. "Yeah, I'm in your lap, dearest, I can feel that."

Right now he was tired of missing her. He grinned and tugged her so she pressed against him. "Can you now?"

The breath she inhaled had a hitch to it. "Was that an invitation?"

"It was," he told her. "I want you."

He could hear all manner of things in her sigh—relief, joy, desire, love. And a little hesitation. "You. . ." She swallowed and licked her lips. "You said you had things to sort out."

"I do," he said. "But I don't think one time, when we both seem to need it, will harm anything."

Her eyes searched his face a moment, then she smiled and kissed him. There was hunger in this one, of the kind that he knew she'd made a conscious effort to hold back. He groaned at the taste of it, tightening his arms around her and tangling his fingers in her hair. She rocked her hips, grinding against him. He got his hands under her shirt and she leaned back to yank it over her head.

Grinning widely, he stroked his hands along her sides, enjoying the feel of her soft skin under his palms. He bent his head, pressing a kiss to her breast before taking her nipple in his mouth. For a moment she made a small noise and let him—only making him stop so she could pull his shirt off, too. She kissed him again, and he felt her hands between them on the fastenings to his pants.

He left her to that, her breasts seemed far more worthy of his attention at the moment. When she got it undone and thrust a hand in, he was forced to release her, air hissing through his teeth. She looked proud of herself, her fingers sliding along the length of his cock where she could reach, before opening the fly enough to free him. Then she climbed back off the end of the bed, sinking to her knees to take him in her mouth.

With a groan he let his head fall back. He tangled his hands in her hair, taking care to be gentle and not pull so hard as to hurt her. Sex had been a long time—years, at least for him. This had been even longer, since they'd taken any kind of time to tease each other. He'd almost forgotten how good it felt. 

He was close far faster than he would have liked. Almost embarrassingly fast, really. He gave her hair a firmer tug. "Stop," he hissed.

She did as he asked, standing all the way up, and looking very proud of herself as she took her own pants off. Watching this woman wiggle her way out of a pair of leather pants was one of his absolute favorite things.

When they were gone, he reached out and stroked his fingers between her legs, delighted to find her wet and sensitive. He circled her clit with a finger a few times, until her head tipped back, then grabbed her hip to tug her forward, back into his lap. She straddled him with nothing between them, his cock grazing against her and her rocking in response, sliding over him wet and hot. It was so tempting to just bury himself inside her and let go. He kissed her instead, pouring heat into it, letter her tease him. She'd been patient and understanding, about something that really defied understanding. He could let her wind up a little longer, if she wanted.

They fell back wards onto the bed, and she paused to help him get his pants actually entirely off. When she returned he rolled them onto their sides so he could touch her better. There was something amazing about being able to do so again. Shifting down a little, he kissed her breasts again, hand sliding between her thighs to stroke her, two fingers slipping easily into her body.

She opened her legs to give him space, and it was so quiet he almost didn't hear it when she whispered, "I missed you."

Stroking her slowly, he lifted his head to kiss her. "I missed you, too."

She pulled herself closer to him, hitching her leg over his hip. "I want to feel you inside me."

"As you wish." He wrapped her in his arms and tilted her hips, sliding deep inside her. She made a sharp, desperate sounding noise. Their foreheads touched again, and they took a couple of ragged breaths in time. Though he had much better control of it than he once had, she reached something in him no one and nothing else ever did, and he felt the lightning stir.

It skittered over his skin and onto hers, seeming not to care which was which. He tucked his arms around her and started to rock, slow and deep, as best he could in the position they were in. What they lost in motion and thrust they made up for in friction.

"That's it, that's it," she encouraged, matching and meeting him. The pace was just this side of torturous, but she met his eyes as they moved and he couldn't look away. He'd had a lot of sex in his life, and plenty with this woman in particular, but nothing had ever felt quite as intimate as this did, right now. He hitched her leg higher up on his hips thrusting harder as he got closer to his release. He wanted her right there with him. Her breath came faster and faster, and he could feel her thigh under his hand tremble. Electricity surged over her, and he could see it in her face when it hit her and something shattered. Her fingers dug into his arms, and the could see pleasure move over her features, her mouth opening and her eyelids fluttering. Her body tightened and flexed around him.

With a groan, he followed her, unable to hold on any longer. He buried himself deeply, holding her to him. She clutched at him and he felt her teeth against his shoulder as she tried to muffle her cries as she shook against him. He hadn't expected it to be this intense, but blood roared in his ears and his vision went white.

When sense returned, he could still feel her occasionally fluttering around him, and she was making quiet whimpering sounds as she tried to catch her breath. Feeling rather stunned, he pressed a kiss to her cheek, holding her close as they both caught their breath and calmed.

They'd been right to wait, and right to stop waiting. He told her he loved her, not much more than a whisper, and she breathed it back.

Eventually she leaned back enough and they opened their eyes. "Mmmm," she hummed, sounding very happy. "I needed that."

"I suspect we both did," he told her, rubbing her back. He tangled his fingers in her hair, and was surprised to find it had bits of something dry and crumbled in it. White and chalky, like. . .was that plaster?

For her part, Valkyrie had gone very still. "Thor," she said very slowly. 

"What is it?" he asked, still a little confused by the plaster in her hair.

"I don't think this room had a skylight before."

Frowning, he rolled onto his back and saw that a large chunk of ceiling had been blown away. The edges of the hole were smoking lightly. "Oh. Dear." He glanced over at Valkyrie and grinned. "What's the appropriate apology gift for that?"

She was now laughing so hard she was shaking, hands over her mouth in a futile attempt to keep sound in.

And someone started banging on the door. 

"Just a moment!" Thor called, rolling to look for his clothes.

"Are you all right in there?" It sounded like one of the guards. "It sounded like an explosion and the fire sensors went off."

"We're fine," Valkyrie called. She climbed up and took the bedsheet with her, wrapping it around herself like a dress. "I'll handle it."

"Don't traumatize him," Thor teased.

"I'm not going to flash him," she replied, going to the door. "Unless we need something from him. I have used my tits to steal all manner of things—even spaceships—from more than one stupid man."

He winced, but didn't respond. That hit a little close to home. She had the door cracked to talk to the guard. "I'm sorry. We had a little accident with the lighting. . . No, no, as long as it's not going to rain tonight, it's fine. Please tell the queen we're very sorry." She closed the door when he left, and leaned against it. "I'm sorry. Your brother is never going to let you hear the end of that."

"I can handle my brother teasing me," he said. "It would be a welcome nostalgia."

She came back into the room, and sat on the end of the bed still wrapped in the sheet. She looked at him a moment, and then said, "The other version of me was all kinds of stupid, wasn't she?"

"I was not blameless," he assured her. "There were mistakes on both sides."

"No I get that. You just made a face when I mentioned seducing people out of their spaceships, which makes me think that's what Korg told you that kicked off the mercy-killing, so to speak." She twisted the sheet in her hands. "This me told you about it our first night in Norway. I can only imagine how Korg explained it. He was very offended on your behalf at the time."

He sighed deeply. "Yes. He thought you'd traded yourself for the ship. And I asked you about it in the worst way possible. You ended up not even telling me what really happened - not for years, anyway - because you were so offended I'd asked."

"If my dreams are to be believed—and apparently they are—you were in pretty bad shape when we reunited. I probably didn't want to try and explain." She blew out a breath. "I suppose Korg wasn't, technically, factually wrong, he just isn't great at nuance or extenuating circumstances. It's not like I walked up to a man at a bazaar and said 'I'll fuck you for your ship'."

"No. Korg and nuance do not belong in the same sentence." He leaned back and lifted an arm in an invitation for her to join him. "You explained, years later, once I had started working with Dr. Yee and had my head on better."

She crawled over and tucked up next to him, letting the sheet fall and drape over them. The view of the stars above was kind of nice. "One of my less-than-pleasant dreams was about how that happened in your timeline. Which was, ironically, much more cut-and-dried. I volunteered myself to the slavers so they they didn't rape someone. I can only imagine how pissed off I was at the implication that was something to apologize for."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "It was an awful situation and you handled it well. Had I known the details I wouldn't have thought twice of it. But. . . neither of us were capable of dealing with it like adults."

"This version was a little different. We had too many people for their hold, and they said they could only take half of us—and that we should send over the healthiest half. Didn't take long to figure what they were really up to. So I took off my armor, took my hair down, got on the view screen in my underlayers, told them I was the late king's mistress, and could I _please_ come over there and persuade them to help more of us? Korg told me you wouldn't like that and I snarled that you were dead and didn't get a vote." Her voice caught on 'dead' and he felt her shiver.

Thor tightened his arm around her. "That was quick thinking."

"It was a gamble. If they'd had control discs like the Grandmaster I'd probably still be there." She laughed a little. "Korg would have probably cheerfully told you I decided to go join the other ship and return to my old life."

"He's a loyal friend," Thor said with a smile. "Not a smart one."

"They did frisk me and take my knife, though. I ended letting the captain guy take off all of my clothes and most of his, because it is really easy to kill someone who will not only remove all of their weapons, but voluntarily let you kneel on their arms and put your hands around their throat. He left all his guns in a neat little pile for me, so everybody else I just shot."

Now Thor did laugh out loud. "Good for you."

"I got everyone on board—quite a tight fit—and then in the morning Loki finally woke up, went and got you from Midgard, I had a deeply mortifying incident of public crying, and we went home. I told you what happened that night." She looked up at him. "I had to convince you I wasn't traumatized by it, and you were offended I tried to apologize. Told me my body wasn't your property."

He kissed her. "It's not. And in my right mind, without a mountain of grief weighing me down, I know that."

"I will bet you all of Asgard's gold that that was the sentiment that got the drunker, angrier version of me to think going home with a stranger was a good idea." 

"I'm not sure how much gold we have left, but I agree. And we were both too angry to realize it them."

"I just don't want you to think that's going to be my default response to us having a fight. My body may not belong to you, but my heart does."

"I know." He kissed her tenderly. "We are both much better at talking and listening than we were then. I worry sometimes that seeing all the things that happened will make you turn away. But I don't, actually, think it'll all happen again."

"Can't say I'm thrilled about it," she said. "But I'm not leaving. We'll figure it out." She yawned and nestled against him, closing her eyes. "I promise."

"I believe you," he said softly. And at that particular moment, he did.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It once bothered him how casually she treated sex. But there were many different kinds of intimacy, and among the things he'd learned living with her—sober—was that the number of people she'd allowed to take care of her like this she could count on one hand._

Valkyrie didn't have any strange dreams that night. They woke curled up together, something that still happened at home, though they usually had clothes on. She wiggled a little and could feel he was hard—which also happened fairly often at home, and he'd carefully extract himself from the bed and they'd pretend neither of them noticed. This particular morning, however, his hands went wandering in open invitation and she felt relief just as sharp as pleasure.

They were, however, _very_ late for breakfast.

"I hear I have a new skylight in the guest quarters?" Syn said brightly when they arrived.

Valkyrie could see Thor's ears turn pink, and she squeezed his hand. "We are sorry about that. It's never happened before like that." 

She waved a dismissive hand. "It's quite all right. It can be fixed. I know first hand how magic can go wild."

"Admittedly, we've never blown a hole in the roof," Loki said.

"Ruined several beds, though," she added, sipping her tea.

"Oh, we did crack that that glass window." Loki gestured vaguely. "The one behind the throne. I was holding way too complex an illusion for that level of distraction, and it got away from me."

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow, impressed. "Your throne room?" she asked Syn.

"His," she replied. To her left, Thor made a choking noise.

"Little glad it blew up now, aren't you brother?"

"I can't believe you did that," he replied.

"Oh, like we wouldn't have," Valkyrie said.

"That's different," he retorted, huffy.

"Thank you for the information last night," she said to Syn. "It was a very needed piece of the puzzle." 

"I'm very glad I could help," she said, looking surprised. "You seemed so upset, I was worried I'd only made it worse for you."

"I was," Valkyrie replied. "But it helped us to sort some things out."

"Good. Difficult conversations are often the most important."

They returned home after the meal. He dropped the bifrost on the other end of the building site rather than in the camp, both to prevent being mobbed, and so they could walk through and see how things were coming. Most of the Asgardians were participating in the construction work, but they were too busy to do more than wave. "Your brother seems happy," she commented as they walked.

"He does. Though I find myself a bit torn. Should I be happy for him? Or annoyed he managed to land on his feet after all he's done?"

"I think she has him in hand. If you don't want him locked up or dead, that's probably about the best you can ask for."

"I suppose. He can follow Father's tradition of being settled by a good woman." He squinted out at the construction going on. "He did all right, running Asgard when pretending to be Father."

"He was very helpful on the _Statesman_." She laced her fingers into his. "And I threatened him pretty thoroughly."

He chuckled. "I'm sorry I missed that. Was it graphic?"

"There was something about feeding him to the cannibals on Sakaar." She looked up at him. "I like problems I can solve with a sword. I would happily stab anyone who hurt you, and I haven't figured out what to do about it being, well, me."

"I would not like you to be stabbed," he told her solemnly, leaning down to kiss her. "I feel better, knowing you know the worst day."

The details of that didn't sit well with her at all. Perhaps particularly because she didn't doubt her judgement was, sometimes, exactly that poor. "Maybe my subconscious will leak less. I didn't have and dreams last night."

He looked delighted at that. "Progress, hopefully."

They walked in companionable silence a bit. "So are we. . .back?"

"I think so," he said after a pause. "But we should still try to connect outside of the bedroom as well."

"I think we're doing pretty good with the talking." She squinted up at him. "Though I have concerns about the lightning and how we live in a metal trailer." 

"Why do you think I left the tires on? It grounds it."

She laughed. "Good call."

They did not call any more lightning bolts from the sky. It seemed to be something pent up or intense emotion caused, and their lives for a while were pretty boring. Buildings went up and the town began to take shape. 

Their days were _very_ long. They built as long as they had light, and by the summer solstice the sun was up 21 hours a day, and it never really got dark. 

Valkyrie's dreams didn't go away. Nothing she was remembering was particularly traumatic, but the whole thing was starting to make her feel crazy. Like she was living two different versions of the same life, with two different versions of the same man. She'd have a dream about him not coming home and having to retrieve him from the bar, and then that night he'd disappear after dinner and she'd feel completely unwarranted worry until she found him— standing on some roof hanging rain gutters in the very last of the daylight.

In her dreams she begged him to come just sit in a chair for show at basic meetings. Meanwhile in daylight he'd taped blueprints and maps over every spare inch of wall space in their trailer and it was constantly full of people asking him about all manner of things. It eventually spouted a lean-to on the side as a temporary office. He put his lawn chair throne in there. When the trailer housing their medical clinic was emptied for a real building, they attached that to the other side for more space—office space for Heimdal and the three people that were now working full time as their assistants. They were filling out governmental staff.

She dreamed about giving up trying to get him to sleep upstairs in their old rental house in town and let him pass out on the couch every night. She woke up alone and unreasonably annoyed and them found him in the carpentry shop quite literally building them a bed. They'd popped the poor air mattress the night they got home from Alfheim and had to go get a real mattress, but up until that point it had been on the floor.

They installed the bed. She dreamt about angry and unsatisfying fucking on a floor somewhere. She woke him up in the middle of the night and he made love to her until she couldn't remember anymore. She was immensely grateful the sex had returned, because it was something that felt good and helped her ignore the dreams making her want to drink. 

But the whiplash was making her feel constantly off balance. Unsteady. She didn't want to fall asleep at night. The endless sunlight made it easy to just work until she couldn't keep her eyes open. 

"So. . .Lettuce, mustard, onions and. . . turnips. Maybe garlic."

Valkyrie looked up from the book she was reading about salmon fishing—because this was a thing she needed to know about now. "What?"

"That's what we can reasonably plant in the time we have, this year," Thor said. He was working on planning for the gardens.

"That's a very, very sad sounding salad."

He shrugged. "Apparently August in Norway is too late for most things."

"We'll plant earlier next year," she said, shifting to put her head on his shoulder. When they'd gotten the second trailer, they'd carved out some space in theirs for an actual couch, that they could sit on in the evenings.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I may talk to Syn about getting some familiar crops down here. Surely my sister in law will give me a good deal?"

"Their climate is very different from ours. I think you'd still have to plant earlier. Or maybe build a greenhouse." She leaned back to look at him. "Also, did I doze through a four hour wedding or...?"

"Loki proposed," he explained. "That's what his big emergency was last week, he wanted to come down to Oslo and buy a betrothal necklace. If he did it on Alfheim, Syn would have found out. And I think a green house is a great idea, but I meant just for this winter. Have some fresh produce sent down to supplement what we grow and buy here."

"So at some point in the future, I am going to have to sit through a four hour wedding." Which reminded her of something. "Actually, maybe sooner. You know Ingrid, with the really wild hair? She asked me the other day if you could legally perform marriages here, and I said I'd look into it, but I forgot." She forgot because she wasn't getting enough sleep.

He tilted his head. "I mean, I don't see why I couldn't. It's a whole new world, we can have whatever rules for marriage we want."

"I think they meant legal in Norway. That I have to check on. You may need to get ordained or something."

"Ah, of course. Well, if I must I will." He grinned at her. "Perhaps they'll give me a discount since I'm already a God."

She laughed. "Right, right."

He leaned over and kissed her. "You all right? You've looked tired recently."

"Weird dreams and the lack of real night is getting to me, I think."

"Mmm. The locals have been telling me people respond strangely to the midnight sun." he played with her pony tail. "You want to go to California? Sleep in darkness for a while?"

"Maybe the next time you have to go put out one of their forrest fires I'll tag along." Of course, who knew what she'd dream with a good night's sleep.

"I'm sure the others would love to entertain you. The ladies have taken to going out alone for tea and shopping."

"I'm told I was friends with some of them, in the other life."

"You and the doctor enjoyed each other's company. And you liked Pepper and Lani, in the time you knew them."

"It's not the worst idea." Maybe Lani could help her with her whole double-life thing. Still. She didn't want to make a fuss. "Well. Let me know the next time they call you. In the mean time there's plenty to do around here."

*

There was a window in the very early morning, before nearly anyone was up, that was still early enough to be a semi-reasonable time to call California. Thor had taken to calling Lani around then, if he was going to, as it was probably the most quiet and privacy he had all day. She was kindly tolerant of weird hours.

This call at least had a specific purpose. "I need a legitimate-sounding excuse to come out to California."

"Well. . .Barnes has been muttering about having an Asgardian come out and give Parker some challenge for training." She paused. "Why do you need an excuse?" He liked that she provided said excuse before asking for an explanation.

"Valkyrie isn't doing well, but won't admit it. I tried to get her to come visit you, but she seems unwilling unless there's an external reason to come out."

"You can tell her Sam asked you to come. We'll take her out to lunch and I can prod a little." He could hear her rustling something. "How are you doing? I haven't talked to you in a bit and didn't know if I should worry."

"I'm doing really well," he told her. "We're making real progress on the town. I'm busy everyday. My brother is engaged." He paused, then admitted. "Valkyrie and I have started having sex again."

"Because you want to or because she can't sleep?"

"Because I want to. I told you she's having dreams about the missing years? I told her about the big fight, when we burned the house down. She didn't want to be surprised by it. It helped. Flushed out old wounds in a way. We slept together that night and ever since." It was not like it had been on the ship, when they hadn't had a whole lot else to do. Some nights now they were lucky to get their boots off before they passed out.

"That makes a lot of sense. I had wondered if your concerns about physical intimacy were tied in with the fact that the catalyst of the breakup was about sex. Clear the air on _that_ and. . ." He could almost see her shrugging and making a 'there you go' hand gesture.

"It seems to have helped me a great deal, but I'd say it's the beginning of her being more stressed."

"I suspect that's a lot for her to deal with. Particularly if she's worried about upsetting you."

That had occurred to him. "I try to be as open as I can to talking. But I'm busy with the town building and planning. I've been doing nice things for her. Built us a bed, that sort of thing. I know the dreams are still happening, I don't know if they're upsetting her and she doesn't want to take it out on me, so to speak."

"Talking to someone a little more neutral might help if that's the case." 

"That's what I'm hoping in bringing her out to you."

"I think I treat half the team by guerrilla therapy these days." She paused. "I can tell you're worried," she said. "But otherwise you sound pretty good. I'd almost say content."

"I am," he said, really realizing it for the first time. "I think if I had had this much to do, these projects to focus on, the first time, I would have been in a much better place."

"Physical activity, a sense of purpose and tangible accomplishments do a great deal for anyone's mental state. As does being needed, and having healthy relationships." As she was talking, he could see people, both in the camp and those who'd moved to the town site, getting up for the morning. The sun had been up an hour and it was still barely after six. He'd walked up to the spot on the bluff edge near where his father had died and they'd met Hela—also where he'd built that cabin after his house in town had burned down. He could see everyone but not be a part of them, and be constantly reminded of the beginning of the end.

He'd really done a lot of self-feeding psychologically unhealthy things back then.

"I think I have all of those now. I feel. . . very stable. I'm letting my hair grow out, she likes it that way."

"That is very good to hear," she told him. "It might be good to make sure she knows that, and that she can lean on you."

"That's a good idea. I'll try to make that clear to her. Though she may not take me at my word."

"Keep saying it."

He smiled. "Understood."

"Peter is staying in the guest cabin waiting for his dorms to open. I'm going to see what can be shuffled around as far as somewhere for you guys to stay on the compound, though you may have to stay one one of the Starks' guest rooms, or a hotel."

"I should send you a picture of our current accommodations. Anything with a bed and a ceiling will be just fine."

Lani chuckled. "Let me know when you'll be here, I'll set it up."

"I'll talk to her and check our building schedule, then send you a note."

After they hung up, Thor walked back down to their trailer—which had at some point sprouted a hand-painted sign saying "Royal Palace"—to see if Valkyrie was up yet. He could hear the shower running, so he put some coffee on for her. They had a little kitchenette.

He remembered well the early days when their bathroom facilities consisted of portable compost toilets and two-minute cold water showers supplied by a tanker truck. Now that they had utility lines, there were lavatory and shower trailers set up for the the camp's use. The height of Royal Privilege at this point in his life was that he and Valkyrie had their own private bathroom. She liked it. He found it a tiny, claustrophobic space he could barely turn around in. The showerhead hit him in the chin.

It did, however, allow him to watch her walk around in the morning in a small towel. She looked tired when she came out, but she smiled at him. "Good morning. Did I really once throw a bottle of vodka at your head?"

"You did," he confirmed. It was nice when she was smiling despite the dreams. "I took the fact you missed as a sign you still loved me."

She came over and leaned up to kiss him. "I did, you know."

"I do." He held out a coffee cup. "I need to take a little trip. Sam would like me to find some time to come out and train with young Peter. Apparently no one else can give him a run for his money."

Valkyrie gave him a look like she was on to him, but then she smiled. "Seems like something I could tag along for."

"It does indeed. Perhaps the ladies will take you out to the spa or something."

"Sounds like fun." She disappeared through the plastic curtain that counted as their bedroom door to get dressed. When she came back out, she asked, "Do you have time to help me braid my hair?" 

"I always have time for that," he assured her.

She always asked him to help, and then he did it himself. Why she couldn't just ask him to actually do it straight out, he didn't know. It was a quirk he found cute, anyway. And he loved the task.

It once bothered him how casually she treated sex. But there were many different kinds of intimacy, and among the things he'd learned living with her—sober—was that the number of people she'd allowed to take care of her like this she could count on one hand.

He did it especially elaborately today - he was in that sort of mood - and kissed the top of her head when he was done. "There you are. I'm going to take a look at our building schedule and see when we can afford a few days to go to California."

"The architect is coming at two," she said. "Make time in your schedule. We might need to move our house."

He groaned. "Really? Now what?"

"Apparently there are different rules if you want to put a lightning rod on your roof. They want it higher. I already conceded to a second floor despite having no clue what we're going to do with three bedrooms."

"I'm sure we can fill them with something," he said, hoping his initial thought didn't show on his face. It was too early to be thinking of children, let alone speaking of them. Besides, babies were rare for Asgardians.

She got up and went to rifle through the papers on the table. "You know I don't know really know how old I am."

That seemed rather out of left field. "I know time on Sakaar was odd. You certainly didn't age all the millennia you were there."

"Seems not. But Sakaar wasn't completely frozen. And, I was older than you when I got there." She took her coffee mug to put it in the sink. "I didn't have my Time once while I was there."

"Huh." Asgardian women had their Time several times in their adult life. It was the only time in their lives they could get pregnant. Thor had never been with a woman during it, but stories made it sound rather exciting. If she was now talking about it, clearly his first thought had been clear on his face. "I'm afraid I don't know who we could speak to about that."

"My point being, I'm not even sure that I _can_. You are technically a King and you might need some sort of heir and if that's going to be a thing we should probably discuss it."

"If you can't, then you can't. I'll find an heir elsewhere."

He was happy to see her smile a little. "You could hold a lottery."

"I'll probably just steal one of Loki's, to be honest."

"I am legitimately horrified at the thought of him reproducing."

He waved a hand. "Eh, Syn will add some positive traits."

She cleared her throat. "Anyway. In the other version if I'd had my Time I'd have locked myself in the basement." 

Sad as that made him, he couldn't help but agree. "I certainly hope so. A pregnancy and child would not have helped that situation at all."

"I do not think it likely, but if fate wills it. . ." She shrugged, as if it wasn't, to a certain degree, an enormous admission. 

"Understood." Making a fuss over it would be the best way to get her to close up. He leaned over and kissed her lightly. "I look forward to the potential opportunity. I've never been with a woman on her Time."

She laughed. "I have. It's exhausting and a lot of fun."

And that image would see him through the rest of the day. "Sounds like fun."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Morgan finally noticed them, and scrambled out of the ball pit. "Hi, King Thor and Lady Valkyrie. Did you bring your unicorn?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some girl bonding time to brighten your Monday!

It ended up, ironically, being the first time since the spring that New Asgard had measurable full-darkness night that they took the bifrost to California. Their house plans were still tied up in some bureaucratic sinkhole and Valkyrie thought they were both getting frustrated and irritated and a change of scenery might be nice. In her dreams she and Thor were also having their house built and that was somehow less of a pain in the ass.

It was pouring rain in Norway, and sunny and warm in California, so off they went. Even a King and his whatever-she-was needed a break now and again.

They landed near the main building of the Avengers' campus. It was a beautiful warm day, with clear skies and the faintest hint of salt in the breeze. "Already I declare this a wonderful idea," Thor said, looking around.

"Indeed." She put her arm around his waist. "Let's try not to think about our people back home in the mud."

"Agreed. We are on vacation. They'll be fine."

It had been dinner time when they left Norway and was now morning in California. Sam and Lani took them out to brunch. She had a hoverchair that was clearly a big improvement over the one she'd had when they'd first met in New York. Thor had been out here a couple of times to make it rain on the wildfires common in the area, but Valkyrie never had, so they said they'd give her a tour when they got back.

"We couldn't really shuffle people around, but the Starks have a guest house up at their place, so you'll be staying there." Lani sighed. "He specifically wanted me to tell you the roof is metal." 

Thor coughed lightly, but looked pleased. "Thank you."

"I know your timezones are very off," Sam said. "We figured you guys could just hang today. Go do tourist things or hangout in Tony's pool. Reset your clocks somewhat, and then we'll start in the morning."

"I would love to do tourist things," Valkyrie said. "I've seen almost none of Midgard." And they were, supposedly, on vacation.

"We're a short drive from San Francisco. It's got a little bit of everything, depending on your interest."

"City wandering it is," she said.

"Do you prefer tourguides?" Lani asked. "Or just want to wander yourselves?"

"We'll be okay. We did the same in New York and it was a really nice day."

They were given a car and sent north to the city. Thor had to drive because Valkyrie had never operated a car before—though apparently she'd learned at some point in the missing five years.

"How long have they been together?" she asked him as they got out onto the highway.

Thor blinked, looking over at her. "Together?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You didn't notice that?"

"What was I supposed to notice?"

Valkyrie laughed and patted his arm. "You know what, never mind. I'm not going to dig out anyone's secrets. It's not really our business."

He looked vaguely horrified, as if he'd just found out his parents had sex. "I agree. Let's not discuss it."

San Francisco was a lovely and unique city. They took a boat ride out to an old prison on an island in the bay, and then ate enormous bowls of clam chowder. They wandered into Chinatown and bought trinkets and dim sum. Less people stopped them than in New York. Someone on a cable car offered them some sort of drug to you were supposed to smoke—they said no—and told Thor he absolutely _had_ to come to an Avengers Look-alike contest in a bar in the Castro. Wherever that was.

"I'd probably lose," he said as they ate admittedly very good ice cream sundaes. "My hair is too short."

She laughed out loud. "Someday." She licked her spoon. "This has been fun. Maybe we should just make walking around cities something we do. Go to different ones around the world."

He smiled. "I like that. Simple, but fun and gives us stories to tell."

"We have long lives, you and I. We should fill them with interesting things. Someday the town will be done, and we'll have free time."

"Then we can travel. See the world. Or other worlds, perhaps."

She reached across the table and tangled their fingers together. "Sounds like fun."

At the end of the day they drove back south, following the directions the car's nav fed them to the Starks' mansion, which was so well hidden you could barely see the gate from the street. They had to identify themselves at said gate. After their real names didn't work, Thor muttered something under his breath and called, "Point Break," which got the gates open.

"Is that your secret code name?" Valkyrie asked him as they went up the drive.

"That is his very strange nick name for me," he replied. "It's a reference to a movie or something." 

"Well, I know what _we_ are doing tonight."

"Stark will be delighted if I finally watch it."

They parked near the house and walked up. The doors opened and the same woman's voice as in their house in New York. Somewhere beyond the large front hall you could hear the sound of a child giggling. They followed it to what appeared to be a family room with a ball pit sunk into the ground. Morgan was happily "swimming" through it while Pepper read in a chair nearby.

"It's good to see you're not spoiling the child," Thor rumbled. 

"He installed that while I was at work," she said, standing up and coming over to them. She was very visibly pregnant, something Valkyrie hadn't known. "It's really nice to see you guys." Pepper hugged Thor, because he was one of those people, and shook Valkyrie's hand because she was not. 

Morgan finally noticed them, and scrambled out of the ball pit. "Hi, King Thor and Lady Valkyrie. Did you bring your unicorn?"

"Not this time," Thor told her gently.

"Oh." She pouted.

Pepper ignored that. "How about we show you out to the guest house?"

"That would be great," Thor said. "We had a long day in the city."

The guest house was gorgeous, and probably bigger than the house they were building in Norway. The sun was setting, though, and to them it was nearly 5AM. They had non energy to do anything other than strip and fall into bed by the time the sky outside was dark.

It meant, of course, that they were up with the dawn. Thor's hands wandered and they woke each other up in the best way possible, which killed a little time.

"I didn't dream anything last night," she told him, tucking her head under his chin.

"Mmm. That is excellent news." He hugged her close. "I wonder what stops it sometimes."

"I have no idea, but I'm grateful." She closed her eyes and he rubbed her back. "I needed a good night's sleep."

"You did." Clearly he'd noticed her fatigue. "I've been worried."

"A change of scenery was good, I think."

"We did get a little overwhelmed." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm feeling really well lately. Like I have my feet under me."

She envied him that. "You're a good king."

"Thank you. My point was . . . If you need to lean on me, I can handle it."

"At the moment, I'm laying on you." She lifted her head. "I know what you mean. And I am trying to."

"Good." He kissed her mouth. "I just wanted to make sure you knew."

"I do. Let's go see if there's anything in the kitchen for breakfast."

"Yes, ma'am." He patted her on the ass and they climbed out of bed."

The kitchen was, of course, fully stocked, and he made eggs and pancakes. They went up to the main house afterwards. Stark was out on the back patio with Morgan, reading a tablet while his prosthetic arm spewed out an endless supply of bubbles for her to chase.

Something about it made Valkyrie think of her own childhood. Stark was in a similar position as her father—older, wealthy, high status. But he was clearly very involved in his daughters life.

"That is a very particular feature," Thor said, stepping onto the porch to clasp hands with him.

"I have a lot of spare time," Stark replied. "You here to knock Parker around?"

"I'm told he'll be a worthy opponent."

"I'll take you over. I've been told to clear out, apparently the women are coming here."

"Ah." Thor leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Have fun with the ladies."

After they left—taking Morgan with them—FRIDAY directed her to a different living room, this one without a ball pit. She resisted the urge to ask how many living rooms this house had. It had probably been since she was an actual Valkyrie that she'd spent much time bonding with other women. Pepper was in there, as were a group of unfamiliar women setting up small tubs of water on the floor. "Hi," Valkyrie said. "I think this might be some sort of Midgard thing I'm not aware of." There were a lot of those.

"Pedicures," Pepper explained. "Foot massages and exfoliation followed with painting the toenails. It's a little pampering."

"You put paint on your toenails?"

"Well, it's not like. . . house paint. It's lacquer. Colorful. Shiny. Sometimes glittery. We do it to fingernails, too."

"My people certainly like shiny decorations," she replied. "Sounds like fun."

Pepper smiled widely. "Great. Have you eaten? We're having brunch set up as well."

"We ate breakfast pretty early, and I'm always hungry."

She gestured to a couple long tables on one side of the room. "Help yourself. The others would be here soon."

Valkyrie piled a plate full of food and was still eating when the others arrived. They all lived at the compound, she thought, so they came together. She'd met all of them at least once, during the battle or its aftermath. Some of them she'd been friends with, in the missing five years, which was odd to think about.

"It was nice you could join us," Wanda said, filling her own plate. "We don't get a lot of new faces."

"We work very long days," Valkyrie said. "It's nice to take a break we don't have to feel too guilty about."

"How's the town coming?" Hope asked.

"Buildings are going up, people are moving in. We're on track to get everyone out of the tents and into some kind of permanent building before winter halts construction. Not that there won't still be plenty to do in the spring."

"You guys move almost as fast as Stark's people." That was the doctor - Amanda. "They got this place up in record time."

"Our strength has been helping with that."

Lani floated over to her. "How was the city?"

Valkyrie grinned. "Lovely and strange. Our kind of place."

She smiled widely. "I have to agree. I love San Francisco."

The women all chatted while they soaked their feet and ate their brunch. Valkyrie was happy to just relax and listen. The foot soaking was honestly great and she was thinking of getting one of these tubs at home. Then the conversation wound its way around to construction, a topic she had opinions on. Amanda and her partner were moving in together, living in one of their little houses at the compound while modifying the other to be a larger home.

"Have separate sinks," Hope said. "Trust me it's worth it."

"Tony and I have separate bathrooms," Pepper said. 

"We only have one bathroom with one sink," Wanda said. "It's fine."

Hope looked at her. "Didn't you say he doesn't need to bathe?"

"Point."

"We're already planning two sinks in the master," Amanda said. "And there'll be a second, guest bathroom for emergencies. We're also splurging on a big tub we'll both fit in."

"If you're going to put it upstairs, you may need to reinforce the floor." Valkyrie said, because she'd had a conversation on this exact thing two days ago .

Amanda looked over at her in interest. "We actually discussed that. James's father was a builder, apparently. He has very strong opinions about certain things."

"Oh, good. If he and Thor get talking we'll be here a week." 

She laughed. "He'll enjoy talking to someone besides me. I'm afraid I can't bring myself to care as much as he'd like me to."

"I'm so tired of living in a trailer I think I'd honestly agree to anything at this point." 

There was a chorus of sympathetic noises. "Is Thor dragging his feet?" Pepper asked. "Or red tape bureaucracy?"

"Mostly the latter, because we're putting a lightning rod on the roof and that makes it complicated. But also, we got to ours near last because he doesn't want to move out of the camp until everyone else has." She looked down at the red polish being painted on her toes. "And, maybe a little, to make sure we still wanted to share one."

There was a beat of silence, then Lani spoke up. "How is that going?"

"Okay, considering I feel like I'm living two different lives." Valkyrie could see the confused frowns, so she added, "Thanks to what I have been told was a quirk of the magic spell on my horse, the memories from the life I had in the five years are still somewhere in my head, and are leaking out in near real-time through my dreams." She could see Pepper and Amanda wince in near unison, because they'd known that version of her. "Yeah."

"Thor told me you'd had some conversations about a few of the worst incidents?" Lani asked.

"He told me about the bad ones I haven't seen yet. It's just actually re-living things. . ." She shook her head. "And you know, I'm not even sure dreaming at night about us falling apart—which he is very worried about—is even the worst part."

"What is the worst part?"

"All the years after. Go to bed every night and have dreams about relationships I had with other people. I didn't and am not going to ask him how many there were, if he even knows, but I know myself. It would have been plenty. And probably some people I know."

"Have you started having those dreams yet?" Lani asked. "Or is it still in chronological order?"

"Seems to be chronological. As I lived it, I guess."

"I could let you remember it," Wanda said quietly, getting everyone's attention. "Remember it naturally, instead of bits and pieces. If you wanted."

Valkyrie leaned forward a bit. "How?"

"I can. . . meddle with people's minds. I'd have to poke around in yours a little to figure out how to do it properly. But for lack of a better metaphor, it sounds like the memories are leaking out from under a locked door. I'd open the door."

"And I'd. . . experience them all at once."

"More like they'd suddenly become part of your memory. Like something you just recalled. But you wouldn't feel them like they were happening anymore."

That sounded very tempting. "Let me think about it. And talk to Thor."

"Of course. I'm at your disposal."

After the pedicures they went to swim in the pool outside. Valkyrie borrowed a bathing suit from Pepper, which seemed to be mostly string. Thor would probably enjoy it when he got home.

"I think this is another one of those Midgard things," she said as they went outside. "What's the purpose of this. . . thing?" She gestured at the bathing suit.

"To cover the necessary parts and little else," Amanda told her. Her bathing suit was far more covering.

"We're practically naked. Why not just _be_ naked?"

"Arbitrary societal modesty standards."

"Are you advocating for skinny dipping there, Doc?" Hope asked.

"No, I'm mocking arbitrary societal modesty standards."

"Do Asgardians wear things to swim?" Lani asked Valkyrie, ignoring the peanut gallery.

She shook her had. "Public baths are separated by sex. Private ones are not. Admittedly none of them are ever outdoors." She dunked under the water. "Clothing is pretty thoroughly covering. But if you're taking it off, might as well take it off." She plucked a string. "This feels like a loophole."

"We humans love our loopholes," Pepper said.

"That's practically humanity's motto," Amanda agreed.

"I get the bottom, but not the top. Are nipples indecent? How do you feed your babies?"

Amanda gestured like she'd just made a profound point. Lani was laughing a little. "We use our breasts. And yes, women's nipples are considered indecent."

"I've noticed there aren't any on television," Valkyrie said. "We hooked up a TV in the meeting hall. People watch it on breaks and discuss the things they find weird. They then often come ask Thor about things they see on it, because he knows more about Midgard culture than anyone. Sometimes that's comedy gold."

"He was rather entertaining in the early days," Pepper said. "A lot of culture shock."

"My favorite was him explaining human reproduction to a group who wanted to know what a tampon was." She held up a hand. "My sympathy, by the way. Your systems are terrible."

"You don't have periods?" Hope said, sounding intensely jealous.

"No. The only time we bleed is a day or two after giving birth."

Pepper snorted. "A day or two. Try a month."

Chuckling, Amanda said, "Pepper is excellent for convincing you to never have children."

"Asgardian babies are rare," Valkyrie said. "They happen when they happen and you accept them. Prevention is sort of not done, unless there is something very serious about your circumstances that requires it. We had a baby conceived while on the refugee ship--though that would have been valid to not."

Amanda looked thoughtful. "That would explain how a race as long lived as yours maintains reasonable numbers."

"Most women have the same amount of children has you all seem to. I've known people with six or even eight, but that's uncommon and people make faces. The most common number is two."

"Well, that's keeping the population at a steady level. If you had babies as frequently as we did, given the length of your lives and therefore your fertile period, you'd be looking at dozens of babies per woman."

"Amanda tends to go science-y," Hope said. "Feel free to not engage."

"What about people who really don't want children?" Hope asked. 

"Keep your relationships to the same gender, is the easiest. Baring that, sequester yourself during your fertile times."

Several arched brows and incredulous looks. "Fertile time?"

She was going to ask them more questions about human weirdness when she was done. "We have pretty narrow windows of time when we get pregnant. And boy, do we know it."

"There are mammals on earth that do that," Lani offered, when the others seemed a little too perplexed to speak. "I've always wondered if it would be easier than periods and the like."

"Certainly sounds more fun," Wanda murmured.

"I've been on both sides, it's pretty entertaining." She smiled at old, dusty memories. "I had a partner for a very long time who was one of those women on the more frequent end of the spectrum. If I'd had a penis we'd have had half a dozen." 

The other ladies laughed. "I feel like we owe you some embarrassing answers, now," Amanda said.

By this point she'd pulled herself onto a pool float, and found herself looking at her legs. "Why do you shave off so much of your body hair?"

There was a pause, then Amanda said, "In the early part of the last century beards were very popular on men and razor companies were losing money. So they started up an ad campaign to convince women body hair was dirty and gross and fashionable ladies should shave it off. Women fell for it, razors were sold, and we've been trying to break out of the cycle ever since."

"Huh. I thought it was going to be something sex related. Thor told me once about the human girlfriend he had who was really happy when he told her he thought it was weird and she was more than welcome to stop."

"Well," Pepper said. "Once you tell men something about women is gross, they internalize that and you're stuck with it. Though some women like it. I like the way it feels, though my hair is so light visibly it would be hard to tell."

"Vis could care less," Wanda said. "But I'm eastern European. I'd look like a yeti if I didn't."

"I get waxed at the beginning of the summer," Amanda said. "And I'll do a touch up if I'm wearing a skirt to a meeting or something. But for the most part I don't care enough to shave. James doesn't seem to mind either way. Though he enjoyed the post waxing."

"I assume waxing is a hair removal method?" Valkyrie asked.

"Yes. You have to grow your hair out a bit. Then someone coats it with hot wax, slaps pieces of cloth over that, and rips the hair out at the root. It takes longer to grow back and sometimes grows back less or thinner. I'm too lazy and busy to shave regularly, and that keeps me from looking like bigfoot in the summer."

"That doesn't sound comfortable."

"It's not," Hope said. "But it's efficient and long lasting. Some people get it done everywhere. Legs, arms, bikini."

It took Valkyrie a moment to figure out what she meant by bikini, and then almost involuntarily crossed her legs.

Sometimes people on Midgard were very strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, I find the idea of Thor explaining periods to a bunch of baffled Asgardians particularly funny. Because Jane absolutely once explained it to him in a scientist's clinical detail.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He wished he'd known he'd someday feel this kind of contentment._

The women were sunning themselves by the pool when Thor got home. Valkyrie got up and came over when he walked through the glass patio doors. She had on a very small bikini. "Hey," she called. "How was it?"

"Very well," he replied, trying not to get distracted by all the skin showing. "Young Parker will be a formidable warrior as he ages."

"There's something I learned today that I want to discuss with you. Something that might. . . help."

His brows went up. "You have my interest."

She smiled. "Come back to the guest house and we'll talk about it."

He bent and kissed her, then tucked an arm around her waist to walk down to the guest house with her. Absently he fiddled with one of the bathing suit's ties, and made himself stop. She smirked at him, and once they got inside, she said, "You want to go burn off some energy before we have a serious conversation?"

"It would probably make it easier for me to concentrate," he admitted. 

Valkyrie grinned at him. "Well then, come here and untie me."

He did so, enjoying the way the suit fluttered to the floor, first the top, then the bottom. "Did you have a nice time with the ladies?"

"I did." She backed up towards the bedroom, letting him follow. "Painted my toes, learned about the local culture, made friends." She'd backed herself up against the door, and stayed there when he reached her. He caged her with his arms and bent his head while she went up on her toes to meet the kiss. "I'll tell you about it later," she mumbled against his mouth.

Tempting as lifting her against the door was, if he'd wanted it to be quick, he'd have taken her to the couch that was right there. So he shoved the door open—though he did decide to pick her up and carry her to the bed.

This was the other good side of this trip. Most days back home they had nowhere near the energy to do this properly, much as they want to. Twice in the same day was nearly unheard of. And they had all the time they wanted.

They drifted for a while afterwards, something of a jet-lag induced afternoon nap. It was sunny in their room, and a jasmine-scented breeze blew in the open windows, which was a nice change—back home their room didn't even have windows.

She was laying on her stomach, and he was idly tracing his fingers over her spine. He wished he'd known he'd someday feel this kind of contentment. 

"Wanda thinks she can pull my memories out," Valkyrie said.

That dampened the contentment a little, but she sounded calm when she said it, so he didn't panic. "And remove them? Or let you see them?"

She turned her head so she could see him. "Let me see them. They'll be like memories, just there, instead of me having to relive them all."

"Ah. That sounds a lot more peaceful than what you're dealing with now."

"It does, doesn't it? I wanted to talk to you, though. I know you have concerns about me remembering things."

He tipped his head back on the pillow, blowing out a breath. "Well. I have told you the worst single incident. But certainly there was a lot of smaller cuts. I would like to think having them as memories rather than living through them would help you. . . process them better?"

"That was my thought. It's _feeling_ them that's hard. And I'm really dreading living through what comes after the breakup."

He hadn't even thought of that part. "It's your head. If you want to try it, I have no objections."

She looked at him very seriously. "And you trust me that no matter what I see, we'll figure it out and work through it?" She said that like she would genuinely not do this if he didn't agree.

He spent so many years feeling more for her than she did for him that sometimes he forgot things like that. She feared losing him just as much as he did her.

"I promise. Though if you do struggle with it, I will once again suggest talking to Lani to help sort it out."

"She's going to be there when I have it done. She and Wanda think it might be a little overwhelming and I'm going to need to sort through it."

Thor smiled. "I think that's an excellent idea."

They ended up staying in California more than a week, while Wanda figured out how to navigate an Asgardian mind, which was apparently structured different than humans. Valkyrie and Wanda spent a lot of time in Lani's office while memories were unearthed piece by piece. At night she'd have bizarre dreams—bad, good, nonsensical and everything in between. All Thor could really do was wait, worry, distract himself with training activities, and hold her when she couldn't sleep.

"Do they have any idea how much longer?" he asked one morning while braiding her hair.

"Chronologically, there's another year left. Wanda thinks maybe two days." She paused, and reached back to rub his knee. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm all right," he said. "I feel helpless watching, though."

"You are helping," she said. "I'm really glad you're here."

He kissed her shoulder and tucked his arms around her from behind. "At least the worst of the nightmares seem gone?"

She leaned back against him. "Even when they're nightmares, they're like normal nightmares. Not straight memories."

"Easier to handle, then." Everyone had odd, disjointed nightmares now and then. Even if they might have elements of real events, like Thor's often did, they were easier to ignore. Just your mind processing what it needed to process.

"You have taken very good care of me while this had been going on. And I know you get up in the middle of the night to deal with all of the questions and issues coming out of New Asgard."

"And here I thought I was being so subtle," he muttered.

"I now remember when I had to do that," she said. "I know it's hard alone."

"At least you have a better excuse than I did."

She sighed, and said, "Thank you for getting me to come out here in the first place. I was really not doing too good."

"You're very welcome. You seem worlds better than you were, brain muddling aside."

"I used to drown the nightmares with drinking. Part of how I stopped was I found sex—well, not just sex, because I had plenty of that before, but specifically you—better at bad dream chasing."

"And then I put a hold on the sex," he finished. "No wonder you were such a wreck."

She sighed. "But it felt really, _really_ wrong to tell you. There was no way to say it with out sounding like some variant of 'sleep with me again or I'll drink'."

"I suppose that is the basic message. It would certainly have felt like an ultimatum." He hugged her her closer against him. "It seems now we've found a balance between escapist sex and actually dealing with our problems?"

"It feels like it." She turned her head to kiss him. "I should get going."

"Mmm. Good luck. I'll see you later."

After Valkyrie's rounds with Wanda, she often took a long afternoon nap. Lani came with them out to the house so she could meet with Tony, and then Thor ended up talking to her afterwards. It was casual, but he kind of wanted her opinion on that morning's conversation.

"Wanting to connect with one's partner as a coping mechanism is a whole lot healthier than alcohol. As long as it's not used as an excuse not to talk."

"I think in the beginning it was used to avoid talking. Now it seems to be. . . an addition."

"And you guys are doing okay with her acquiring all these memories?"

"So far, yes. It seems much easier on her than being forced to relive them in her dreams. We can talk about them calmly, with similar distance."

"I think, once this process is done, it will be really good for the two of you to have the same set of memories. As much as I know that makes you nervous."

Thor sighed deeply. "I know. In theory, I agree. But it's hard to get rid of the last bit of worry."

"Perhaps this is a moment to have a little faith."

"I think I'm still in short supply of that. But I'll try."

Lani tilted her head. "Faith may be the wrong word. Trust. Do you trust her?"

He considered that a moment, searching his feelings. "I do," he finally said, confidently.

"Then trust what she tells you about how she feels." 

"As always, your advice is wise and exactly what I need," he said, inclining his head.

That made her smile. "I think the other version of me would be really proud of you."

"I should hope so. You both made a lot of progress with me."

"I'm just here to help you make your own progress," she told him. Which was a very her thing to say.

"Still, you have my gratitude. And Valkyrie's, too."

"Make good use of your second chance."

"I will," he promised. "It's all I've wanted."

*

Valkyrie's memories had caught up with each other. She recalled all the way up to flying Moonstone back to Norway. The ones at the end had an overlap like recent months, but that was all right.

"That should be it, then," Wanda said. "Is anything missing?"

After a moment searching her memory, Valkyrie said, "Kind of a weird thing, but I can't actually remember the incident where we blew up the house. The whole fight and everything. I know about it because Thor told me. But the memory is missing."

Wanda's brow furrowed. "That's. . . odd. I can rummage around a bit, if it's important to you. It's strange that something so specific and in the middle would be missing."

"I imagine that's a particularly painful memory," Lani said. "Could it be, well, buried?"

"It's possible. I didn't have to dig very far to find the rest. It could be behind. . . intentional doors, I suppose. Rather than magical ones."

Valkyrie sighed. "Can you find it?"

"If you want me to." Wanda looked at her. "Are you sure you want me to?"

"I don't want to be surprised by it in a nightmare."

She nodded. "All right. Give me a minute to look."

It took Wanda a few minutes, and Valkyrie sat with her eyes closed because it was kind of awkward otherwise.

The memories dredged up from wherever they were in a messy tangle. Coming home exhausted from spending the day trying to mediate a fishing dispute, and making excuses for something Thor had neglected, to find him drunk and playing video games in a messy living room. Trying to decide if she was going to pick a fight, before he turned and asked her if she really got the ship that took them to earth in return for fucking someone.

The fight afterwards was as ugly as he described. But he'd also described it as fairly mutual. They'd both said their share of awful things. Only that wasn't entirely true. It was _mostly_ her. She'd had a lot to get off her chest and wasn't nice about it.

He was well within his rights to tell her to find somewhere else to sleep. Drunk spite got her to find someone else to fuck, too. Somehow, unbelievably, she told herself it didn't really count because it was a woman. Worse, she'd tried to tell him that when she confessed. 

It had taken a day to be sober enough for the guilt to get to her. By that point their house was a smoldering wreck, and guilt would gnaw at her for years. It was also that last time she ever drank.

"No wonder I buried that," she muttered, without opening her eyes.

She felt someone take her hand and was pretty sure it was Lani. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," she said, even though that was almost entirely untrue. She opened her eyes, and Wanda was also hovering in front of her, looking worried. "I just have a headache. Maybe I should go lie down."

"Would you like me to drive you home?" Wanda asked.

Usually she called Thor to come pick her up, but a little time to make some sense of her thoughts seemed like a good idea, so she said yes.

"Call me if you need to talk," Lani said, still obviously concerned. "Any time, day or night."

"I will," she said. "I just. . . think I need a little bit alone."

"Of course. Just take care of yourself."

Wanda was quiet most of the drive, giving her space. Eventually Valkyrie said, "That was more visceral than the other ones. Like it was in 3D."

"People remember negative things better than other things. We go back to them in our minds, cementing details and affixing it in our minds."

"I'm not surprised I went over that a lot." She huffed out a breath. "Lani and Thor both keep telling me I shouldn't feel responsible for, or apologize for, the things I did in the other version of my life. But it was still me, and now I remember it."

"I'm sure an apology wouldn't hurt. Especially now that it comes from a place of understanding and not just being told what you did."

"Thank you for all of this, Wanda," she said. "No matter what, I am really happy to have my head sorted out."

"You're welcome." She smiled. "I take any opportunity to use my powers for good."

"I'm sure I'll see you the next time we come to put a wildfire out."

She lifted a shoulder. "Actions big and small help."

By the time she got back to the guest house, Valkyrie's headache had come on full steam, and she'd found taking a nap in the dark was the only thing that helped. Maybe she'd feel better when she woke up.

Thor was on the couch, one a video chat with someone. He looked up when she entered and was immediately concerned. "Are you all right?"

She could hear the Asgardian accent on the other end and waved a hand. "It's like midnight over there; whatever it is, it must be important." She went into the kitchen to get something to drink before he could respond.

To her relief, she heard him talking again, so he'd gone back to his call. She grabbed her drink and headed to the bedroom to lay down.

Sleep didn't come, but a cold washcloth she put on her face seemed to help with the headache. Thor came to check on her after his call was over, and she tried to tell him she was fine.

"Laying in a dark room with a cloth over your head is not fine."

"Wanda had to dig for something." She sighed, cracking an eye to look at him standing in the doorway. Maybe she didn't need to be alone. "You want to come take a nap with me?"

"I'd love to," he replied, coming in to lay with her. "Are you all done? With the memories?"

She reached out and wove their fingers together, about all she could take at the moment. "All done."

"Still happy you did it?"

"There was nothing there that wouldn't have been worse found by surprise." She shifted a little, resting her cheek against his arm. "The big fight," she said. "That's what Wanda had to dig up. My brain apparently hid it."

He rumbled a little, lifting a hand to stroke her hair. "I suppose it was that bad."

"I don't blame you for the lighting," she said quietly.

He didn't answer immediately, still stroking her hair. "You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Honestly, I don't think I'd blame you if you'd thrown the lightning _at_ me."

"Now, now. I'd pushed you pretty far to bring you to that point."

"You wore me down to the bone. It was like death by sandpaper. Didn't give me the right to shoot you with a canon."

"Can we agree we both hurt each other and try to move past it?"

She nodded. "It was just. . . hard to see."

"I know. It's not a memory I enjoy visiting, either." He kissed her temple. "Get some sleep. It'll help."

It was ridiculous for him to stay—it was the middle of the day, he probably wasn't even tired. But she didn't say so, because right now she felt unsteady and he grounded her. Instead she shifted again, so she could rest her head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. "I still loved you," she whispered. "All the way to the end."

He gave her a little squeeze. "I never stopped loving you. Or, I suppose, hoping we'd figure out a way to make it work."

She sighed, closing her eyes and feeling herself actually relax. "And here we are."

"Yes." He pressed a little kiss to her temple. "Though admittedly, I could not have foreseen this exact path we took."

She must have drifted off, because she didn't recall replying. She had dreams, but they were mundane and normal. When she woke an hour or two later, her headache was gone. Thor was reading a book over her head, and letting her use him as a pillow. "Mmm. What time is it?"

"Ah, just after six, I believe. You clearly needed your sleep."

"You didn't have to stay in here," she told him.

He closed his book, lifting his hand and stroking his knuckles over her cheek. "These days I can tell when you need me."

Need, she thought, wasn't an adequate word. If she was honest, love probably wasn't enough either. So she leaned up and kissed him, hoping that would somehow convey what she was feeling. She could hear him inhale through his nose as the kiss took off. The book fell to the floor with a thump and she climbed into his lap. 

When they parted, just an inch or two, they were both breathing hard. Valkyrie leaned back only enough to peel her tank top off, and give him a moment to look. This was the language they spoke and that was all right. He reciprocated with his shirt, and then moved them, laying her back on the bed so he could get her underwear down her legs. There was something unbearably hot about watching your lover undress you. 

Even more so watching him kiss her skin on a slow trip down her body, and feeling his beard scrape the inside of her thigh before she couldn't keep her eyes open. He didn't tease her or make her wait, and seemed like it took so little to wind her up and split her apart. She was still throbbing and shaking from her climax when he tugged her where he wanted her and sank inside. His groan was the first sound he'd made, and she deliberately squeezed around him until he did it again. Then she wrapped her legs around him and let him fuck her as hard as he wanted.

When he leaned over her and rested his forehead on hers, she whispered, "Tell me what you need."

He didn't say anything, but he straightened, pulling up of her legs by the knee and using to efficiently flip her over so he could have her from behind. She dug her fingers into the sheets, and then felt his beneath her, sliding over her clit. She whimpered against the mattress, feeling things twist and turn inside her as his fingers moved faster and he slammed into her harder, until she couldn't take it any more. She bucked back against him and cried out she was so entirely and completely lost.

How long they lay there, afterwards, just holding onto each other, she didn't know. Or care. 

And 'I love you' wasn't the thing she needed to say.

Valkyrie shifted enough she could turn and see him. "I know you want to put the whole mess behind us. But I remember it happening now. And I want to tell you I'm sorry. And so was the other version of me."

He studied her a moment, then nodded, smiling. "Thank you. That actually helps. Hearing that." He'd told her he was sorry a lot—every time she'd bumped into something he'd done in her dreams. She told him he didn't need to, but she'd liked hearing it just the same.

"I've never dealt well with my feelings," she told him, "and I felt so guilty it was easier to hide in anger. But I had a lot more regrets than I ever told you."

It clearly surprised him. "I never knew," he admitted. "It seemed like you handled and processed it all really well."

"As it turns out, I was a great actress." She touched his arm, rubbing his skin idly. 

"You are." He leaned down and kissed her, pulling her against his chest. "And now, we're both on the same page."

"You're not worried I'm going to leave anymore?"

He played with her hair, stroking the long strands and letting them fall. "No. You've seen it all now. And you seem . . . all right with it? More or less."

"I feel like you thought I was over you, and would remember that feeling. I thought we were beyond repair, but that's not the same thing. That argument we had in the Stark's yard at the New York compound? That wasn't something that came from a place of indifference."

"That's a good point. And probably an accurate assessment of my fears. You had moved very much beyond what we had and there didn't seem to be anything I could do to change your mind."

"Time might have. We have very long lives and all. I resented you and missed you in turns. It was messy. Seemed easier to just bottle it up and shove it away."

"That doesn't sound like you at all."

She chuckled. "Yes, yes."

"We need to be better about that. Both of us."

"We are," she said. "We're talking about this right now, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are," he conceded. "But it . . . has to become a habit. We're stronger together than trying to manage apart."

Valkyrie nodded. He was entirely right. About talking, and about lending each other strength. "We're still afraid of putting too much on the other." 

"And we're both used to doing everything alone," he added. "So we need to remind each other not to."

She pushed up on her elbow to look at him again. "Is whatever's going on back home that they keep calling about something you want to talk about?"

"No, actually. It doesn't seem to be anything urgent. I think they're just getting antsy about is being away." He smirked. "Maybe they miss us."

"I suppose we should get back soon." She watched him a moment, thinking. "Though, before we do. . . I will admit I having someone not personally involved talk me through my memory processing has been very helpful. If you can contain your 'I told you so', I think some guidance on how not retreat into our corners in times of stress might be a good thing."

He grinned widely, but managed to restrain himself. "I'm sure Dr. Yee will be happy to give us some suggestions."

She leaned over to kiss the grin off his face. He leaned back enough to pull her on top of him. "And yes, I am all right with it all. My new memories haven’t changed anything. I love you and I want this. Us."

"Good," he said softly, stroking her hair back from her face. "So do I."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"It's time we stopped acting like a people in mourning and started reminding ourselves of the good. We should celebrate that we've survived and are starting to thrive."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! We're not dead. I (Olives) just had an unspeakably busy week at work, meanwhile Nyx was camping in the woods with her daughter's school trip. Not a lot got done, so now I'm posting three different things tonight.

They added an extra day to their California trip, and Lani cleared her afternoon so they could talk about communication. 

"You know," Valkyrie said near the end of the day. "What you do really is a lot like field training, just. . .for your head."

"How so?" Lani asked. "I'm afraid I don't know a lot about field training."

"Much of our warrior training is athletic training. A particular thing, demonstrated and repeated until mastered in isolation. But there is a point where you have to learn how to use it in the real world, and mix it in with the other things that become relevant, well, in the field. From managing your tent to preliminary medical triage. And then taking all the skills your body has and learning how to use them in a strange place, under stress and possibly in pain."

She considered that a moment. "I think that's pretty accurate. I like to think of it as giving people a safe space to sort out their thoughts and find ways to process them. So when they get blindsided in the real world, they have a foundation of coping skills."

Valkyrie looked over at Thor a moment, then back at Lani. "I'm just thinking that this is a skillset Asgardians, as a people, do not have. We are not trained to process our feelings. It's almost not a concept that exists." 

"Working with you two, that has become rather obvious. No offense."

"None taken," Thor said, just in case Valkyrie for some reason did intend to take some. But she just smiled and shook her head.

"Right," Valkyrie said. "But maybe it should."

"You think Asgard needs therapists?"

"We are not the only ones of our people who lost everything. And according to my new memories, a whole lot of them treated that with drink. Unlike the rest of everyone who had the five years rewound, most of that loss still stands."

"For that, I think some therapists who specialize in PTSD and trauma would be the best fit. I can make some phone calls."

"Probably also someone who specializes in stubborn people who don't want to talk."

"That's a given," she said with a smile.

That evening they got dinner, and packed up their things to go back home. "I don't know how it will go over," Valkyrie said to him. "But I think it's worth a shot."

"I think it's a great idea. We'll need to be honest about our work with Lani and how it helped. It may help people warm up to the idea."

She chuckled and zipped her bag. "That is. . . probably easier for you than for me."

"It is," he agreed. "And they might not believe it from you."

"I had to have all the memories to appreciate just how much _better_ you are. I almost wish I could tell them about that."

He smiled. "Too complicated to try and explain. But I appreciate that you can see it now."

"Very much." She held out her hand to him. "What do you say we go home?"

"Absolutely. Let's go find somewhere the Bifrost won't burn the lawn."

He put them down in the field behind their trailer in the camp, because it was mostly dirt as it was where all the specialized tradesmen helping with the town building parked. When they came around the front he stopped, because the hand-made sign hung over the door saying Royal Palace was gone—as was the entire improvised shed thing off the side that was his office. 

"Um," Valkyrie said.

Thor went up the two wooden steps he'd had to repair at least three times and opened the door, finding the inside completely empty.

"What in the world?" he said, turning back to Valkyrie, who looked just as baffled. "What's going on?"

"You might wish to come over to the town," said a voice behind them, and he turned to see Heimdal standing there. Looking like he knew something they didn't. Which, granted, was always true. "People are gathering."

"Will it explain why our trailer is empty?" Thor asked, already moving to follow in towards the town.

"Entirely," he said, and started walking. Valkyrie was making baffled gestures, but all they really could do was walk with him.

It wasn't far to town, and once they got there it was obvious where their stuff was. Specifically, in the large, cheery red-shingled house sitting on the centrally-located lot they'd staked out as theirs. It had a sharp roof with a lightning rod on top. Someone had nailed the Royal Palace sign beside the door.

With a little surprised chuckle, Thor took Valkyrie's hand and looked at Heimdal. "The town did this?"

"Everyone pitched together," he said with a nod. "Even your brother and Queen Syn came down to help."

Valkyrie had her hand over her mouth, but she managed to say, "We were only gone a week."

"Asgardians are very efficient. When they want to be."

She tugged on Thor's hand. "Come on, let's go inside."

He nodded, still feeling a little dumbstruck, and let her drag him up the steps and through the front door. To his continued surprise, it was furnished, with a big comfy looking living room set and television.

The first floor had a formal dining room and a large eat-in kitchen. Upstairs there were three bedrooms, the largest of which contained their bed. The bathroom off it had a big tub, the one Valkyrie had wanted that required floor reinforcement. In contrast to the rest of the tasteful fixtures, the tub's faucet and taps were shiny gold plated. She laughed so hard when she saw them she had to sit down on the edge of the tub. 

"I'm pretty certain you can thank your brother for that."

Given the speed of this, there was probably a lot he could thank his brother for.

Back downstairs, there was a door off the living room that was clearly an office—and clearly his, as it contained his lawn-chair throne. On the back wall behind the desk, what he thought was decorative paint proved to be handwritten names, scrawled over the paint and nearly filling the wall, of what had to be everyone in New Asgard. His people had signed their gift.

"I can't believe they did this," he said softly, afraid he might actually cry.

Valkyrie slid her hand up his arm and rubbed his shoulder with her fingertips, reminding him of the moment on the battlefield in New York he'd started to understand the breadth of the second chance he was getting. "I don't know that I'd entirely understand the gravity without the alternate memories."

He covered her hand with is. "This is a much better version."

She rested her head on his arm, and he felt her warmth against his side. "Your people love you, and they built you a palace."

"So I see." He was quiet a moment. "We should throw a festival."

She looked up at him. "For what?"

He shrugged. "The change of seasons? The progress of the building? Because it's Thursday? We're Asgardians, we don't need a reason."

Valkyrie laughed. "Fair enough. I was just trying to track how you got from the house to a festival."

"It's time we stopped acting like a people in mourning and started reminding ourselves of the good. We should celebrate that we've survived and are starting to thrive."

Her eyes searched his face a moment, and then she nodded. "That's a long time coming," she said. "Longer than any of them know."

"Very long," he agreed.

She went up on her toes to kiss him. "I love you. Let's throw a festival."

*

Festivals did take some time to plan if you wanted to do it right, and they decided to throw it on the autumnal equinox. Change of season, as Thor had said. And to celebrate the fact that they were on target to have everyone out of tents before snow fell. And also to celebrate that their Sad Salad Garden had been planted, and the entire town was inordinately proud of their lettuce and onions. 

"We need two more tables for the caterers," Thor said. "Do we know anyone who might have some to spare?"

Valkyrie looked up at him. "Put a couple of doors on sawhorses?"

"That we have in abundance," he agreed, making a note in his book.

Their house had a lovely fireplace, reminiscent of the one in their little rental house. In the evening after the sun set and the chill set in, they lit it and sat at opposite ends of the couch, legs tangled, and went over various things from their day. "I meant to tell you," she said. "I talked to another couple today who want you to marry them at the festival."

He made a little noise of surprise. "What are we up to now, five?"

She nodded. "I think people are embracing their new life. It would have completely rude to ask--even for me--but I _think_ today's requestor was pregnant." 

"Well, then, I'd best hurry." Pregnancy out of wedlock wasn't unheard of - Time hit when Time hit - and while it wasn't expected for the couple to immediately marry, it was the usual outcome, at least nowadays. There had been more random one night stands in Valkyrie's day. "Though maybe we should see if they're all right with one group ceremony. I think we've reached a point where separate ones are impractical."

"Syn told me that's how the do it on Alfheim. They consider the summer solstice the best time to get married, and often people do it large group. They're holding a lottery for couples who want to get married at the big palace festival when she and Loki get married."

"You know he is beside himself with nerves about that. It's hilarious."

"Come on now. I'm sure you would be nervous if you were about to tie yourself to someone for life. Particularly someone as powerful and kind of scary as her."

"I find it endlessly reassuring that you find her scary."

"Men endlessly underestimate powerful women. Other women do not. Syn commanded an army and lead a successful revolution." 

"And she tamed Loki."

"See? Scary. Anything else we need for the festival?"

"Once the band is confirmed, I think we're fine. Though do we need to add decorations for the weddings?"

"That's on the bride and groom if you ask me."

"I love your practicality, dear."

Valkyrie went around to all of the betrothed couples and secured their agreement to have one group ceremony Thor would preside over. She talked to them all about decorations—mostly lots of flowers—and admired all their betrothal necklaces. One of them had a ring, which was apparently the ceremonial jewelry on Midgard, because she didn't like things around her neck.

Little by little, people were adapting to their new home.

The morning of the festival dawned bright and cool, with the promise of pleasant temperatures all day. She and Thor had been up late the night before with set up, and allowed themselves a bit of time to sleep in before getting dressed.

"We shouldn't lay here forever," she mumbled into his shoulder. "I want you to do something fancy with my hair." He was better at it than her, and it was high time she just admitted it.

"I can do that in bed," he rumbled.

"You can do lots of things in bed," she said, sitting up. "Many of which I enjoy. Most of which make my hair worse, not better."

He chuckled and rubbed her back idly. "So you're saying you want to get up."

She looked over her shoulder at him, and decided he looked too tempting for her to resist leaning down and kissing him. "At some point."

"Mmm." He cupped the back of hr head to hold her down a moment. "We had some sort of plans today, didn't we?"

"Big party. You have to officiate a wedding. Food, music, dancing." She stretched out over him. "We'll probably have to corral a bunch of drunk people later tonight."

"We're pretty good at that, as I recall."

"And then we can come back here and have better sex than them." She kissed him until he groaned. "But right now I need a shower and some braids."

"I'll go start the coffee," he said with a martyred sigh, rolling to his feet.

Valkyrie went into the bathroom and a minute later was under the warm spray. She loved this house, perhaps more than any place she'd ever lived. Perhaps because it was the first one since childhood that felt like _home_. She and Eir had never really had a home they shared. There was something different about this place. It made her feel. . .settled.

Once upon a time, that would have scared the life out of her.

She could smell coffee and breakfast when she came out of the bathroom to get dressed. She had a dress she'd gotten just for this—Marit the magical seamstress had a booming business, but she only made traditional Asgardian clothing, and Valkyrie's tastes hewed much closer to the kinds of things people on Midgard wore. Jeans were a magnificent invention.

But for their first festival, she wanted to look a proper Asgardian. Like a woman who might actually be the King's Mistress. Lani called her his partner, a very human term that Valkyrie liked very much.

Downstairs she'd found Thor had cooked eggs, bacon and toast along withe the coffee. "We'll need our strength for the trials ahead," he told her, piling her plate high, only half joking. "And talk about what you want to do with your hair."

"Something to go with the dress," she said, taking the plate from him.

He looked vaguely flummoxed. "Are you sure you don't want to have Syn do it or something?"

"For one, I didn't know they were coming, and for two, you braid my hair all the time." Something about him seemed a little out of sorts. Given how he generally liked braiding her hair. And he didn't seem to have noticed the dress. "I can do it myself. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I can do it. I just. . . I don't know. I want to make sure it's nice enough."

Her frown deepened, and then she sighed. She had no idea why he was nervous about the festival, but clearly he was. "It's okay," she said. "You have a lot going on today, I can do my hair, it's completely fine."

His jaw took a stubborn slant, then he paused and let out a long, slow breath. "I'm happy to do your hair," he said. "We both enjoy it. But, I admit I'm a little distracted this morning with all we have to do, so I apologize if I'm acting odd."

Valkyrie came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist to hug him, resting her cheek against his back. "Hey. Today is going to be great. I promise."

"I hope so." He patted her arm, giving her hand a squeeze and weaving their fingers together. "You look amazing, by the way. I forgot to say that outloud."

She tightened her arms. "Thank you."

"I could braid some ribbons in your hair," he offered.

"That sounds nice." 

Her hair ended up an intricate concoctions of small braids feeding into larger ones and interlaced with different colored ribbons. He spent quite a long time on it considering how much had to do. But she sensed it was meditative, and he seemed more relaxed by the time he was done.

"How'd I do?" he asked, after she had a moment to admire it.

"It's beautiful." She grinned at him. "This is the most Asgardian I've felt in ages."

He chuckled a little. "You certainly look it."

"Shall we?" she asked. When they got outside, he'd zap himself with the lighting and magically be in his full formal armor. She envied the trick.

"Mmm, I think there's something missing." She frowned at him, then he snapped his fingers and reached into his dresser, coming back with a box. "Here. This should go nicely."

She grinned as reached for the box, surprised as she was. They didn't exchange gifts much, but it was a big day. And though she wasn't terribly girly most of the time, but sometimes pretty things were very nice. "Is this the beginning of a fancy hair comb collection?"

"Not. . . quite," he said carefully. "But I'll keep that in mind."

Now very curious, she opened the box, and found a gold and ruby necklace staring back up at her. This was. . . not an idle gift. It took her a moment to look back up at him.

It certainly explained why he'd been so nervous. "I bought it after we got home. I meant to give it to you later but. . . I couldn't wait."

"You know, usually there's a conversation first. Complicated negotiations between families, even." Betrothal wasn't something Asgardians were spontaneous about. At least in her day.

"I'm afraid we're rather on short supply of families," he pointed out. "Though if you want to appoint someone to argue with Loki about dowries for three days I'm sure he'd oblige." He reached out and touched her hand. "I love you. I always will. We have been through a great deal together. I can think of no one I'd rather face the future with."

She turned her hand to take his. "I'm here. And I will be, no matter what."

He bent and kissed her. "Is that a yes?"

She grinned at him, feeling strangely giddy. Valkyrie had _no_ idea she had the capacity to feel that. This shouldn't surprise her, and it had probably been inevitable. They had a house together and had never so much as considered doing otherwise. And they really did run the colony as if she were his Queen.

But here they stood, and she thought she might even cry. "I will absolutely say yes to the question you haven't actually asked yet."

He blinked, then grinned. "Will you marry me?"

"I will," she said softly. "Your majesty."

"Good." He leaned in and kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her. She swayed into him, and after a moment they parted so he could put the necklace on her. According to tradition, it was bad luck for the bride to put it on herself. She and Eir had a long running light-hearted debate about who would count as the bride.

Thor traced his fingers over the necklace as it lay on her skin, and she thought about how lucky she was. That she had gotten a second chance and they _they_ had gotten a second chance. Fate was kinder and far more complicated than she'd ever known.

"The first thing I ever said to you was that you were mine."

He laughed. "And then you fought a bunch of cannibals for me. It's romantic, in a certain light."

"I think it's the best thing I ever did."

"I agree, but I might be biased." He kissed her again. "Shall we go show off your necklace?"

The party was kicking up when they got there, and the most common reaction seemed to be, "Well, it's about damn time." Marit, who was now the oldest Asgardian alive by a good thousand years had become something of the town grandmother, looked at Thor sincerely and told him she'd started to worry there was something wrong with him.

They had contests and games and feasts, and a big wedding in the middle, the festival sprawling over the big field that had once been the camp. Loki made an enormous ice sculpture of himself, which Syn made him take down. He then made ice-sculptures of Hela, Surtur, and Thanos—amusingly sans his head, which made Thor laugh—for people to throw things and hack at. Which they did, enthusiastically with rocks and pikes and axes. 

Valkyrie was inordinately proud of that. She'd trained them well. The woman who took off the Hela sculpture's head, who was one of Valkyrie's best students, proudly put it on a stake. Thor let her take a swing with Stormbreaker as a reward.

As the sun set, bonfires were lit and Thor made a lightning show in the sky. It was jagged and wild, beautiful the way dangerous things were, and people gasped. She was mesmerized by the way he looked lit up with it, little bits of lightning jumping from one part to the other. No one in their right mind touched him when the lightning was live lest they get electrocuted, but Valkyrie was long sure it wouldn't hurt her, and she found herself reaching out to take his hand.

She felt it come up her arm, and in the sky above it split into a web of small strands. Something organized and delicate that he had finer control over. She had no magic of any kind. She just seemed to steady him.

He took advantage of it, drawing the show out a little longer before letting it taper out. Grinning, he squeezed her hand and kissed her as the last few bursts filled the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was going to be a small epilogue, but we never got around to writing it. I'll reopen if we ever do. Thanks for reading and thanks especially for all the lovely comments!


End file.
